Advanced search

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

sex after four kids

(5 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Tue 10-Nov-15 20:57:24

I've been with my dp for ten years, my only sexual intercourse partner (few friends before but not sex) were expecting our fourth baby in 2016, all under 5 and I just feel so out of sorts. We literally have the awkward quicky every month if that... He's got a high sex drive and I haven't anymore. I have no self confidence, I don't know how to do foreplay anymore, initiate, flirt - anything. I feel like a twat doing it despite we had a great time before kids and in between having our kids we had good spells. I just feel inexperienced all over again.... I'm always tired, no spontaneity. He jokes about things we should do an I feel like a kid. Not an adult. I've never done kinky stuff, my friends said I'm mad not to. I just literally have no confidence, or idea anymore How do you keep the balance of parent yet also let go to remain yourself?

littleraysofsunshine Fri 13-Nov-15 21:14:07


lindseyyyy Wed 23-Dec-15 21:30:53

Having this battle myself. Pregnant with second. First pregnancy my OH didn't try & have sex with me after 20 weeks. So we basically didn't have sex for almost 6 months-not once. We got back into the swing of things after birth & at first it was good. But after a few months I stopped being abl to orgasm-not sure if it's cos there's too little foreplay(ie quickies only) or I'm drier or some other reason but sex has gone downhill for me. so I'm a bit like u now, I don't initiate, don't do anything to him I just freeze & let him do it.
This leads to a cycle of sex Being crap, me blaming myself for crap sex, me thinking its cos he doesn't find me attractive & me thinking he's gonna go elsewhere...which leads me to feel even worse about myself.
Do you communicate about sex? I think our problem is we don't talk about it. And maybe my confidence too.
I really feel your pain. I too feel I'm just q mum & that's it.

littleraysofsunshine Wed 17-Feb-16 23:00:40

Exactly this... Communication is important but something we need to do more of. I think it is different when you have kids though... (Not I his eyes!) but I just don't feel as confident as I find it hard to switch off parent mode, and pregnsnt sec just isn't for me a lot of the time...

I find it crazy how some women crave it when pregnant!! confusedshock

glowfrog Tue 08-Mar-16 20:49:37

4 kids under 5?? Frankly you'd be superhuman if you still felt mad for it!! flowers

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now