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sex after four kids

(5 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Tue 10-Nov-15 20:57:24

I've been with my dp for ten years, my only sexual intercourse partner (few friends before but not sex) were expecting our fourth baby in 2016, all under 5 and I just feel so out of sorts. We literally have the awkward quicky every month if that... He's got a high sex drive and I haven't anymore. I have no self confidence, I don't know how to do foreplay anymore, initiate, flirt - anything. I feel like a twat doing it despite we had a great time before kids and in between having our kids we had good spells. I just feel inexperienced all over again.... I'm always tired, no spontaneity. He jokes about things we should do an I feel like a kid. Not an adult. I've never done kinky stuff, my friends said I'm mad not to. I just literally have no confidence, or idea anymore How do you keep the balance of parent yet also let go to remain yourself?

littleraysofsunshine Fri 13-Nov-15 21:14:07

?

lindseyyyy Wed 23-Dec-15 21:30:53

Having this battle myself. Pregnant with second. First pregnancy my OH didn't try & have sex with me after 20 weeks. So we basically didn't have sex for almost 6 months-not once. We got back into the swing of things after birth & at first it was good. But after a few months I stopped being abl to orgasm-not sure if it's cos there's too little foreplay(ie quickies only) or I'm drier or some other reason but sex has gone downhill for me. so I'm a bit like u now, I don't initiate, don't do anything to him I just freeze & let him do it.
This leads to a cycle of sex Being crap, me blaming myself for crap sex, me thinking its cos he doesn't find me attractive & me thinking he's gonna go elsewhere...which leads me to feel even worse about myself.
Do you communicate about sex? I think our problem is we don't talk about it. And maybe my confidence too.
I really feel your pain. I too feel I'm just q mum & that's it.

littleraysofsunshine Wed 17-Feb-16 23:00:40

Exactly this... Communication is important but something we need to do more of. I think it is different when you have kids though... (Not I his eyes!) but I just don't feel as confident as I find it hard to switch off parent mode, and pregnsnt sec just isn't for me a lot of the time...

I find it crazy how some women crave it when pregnant!! confusedshock

glowfrog Tue 08-Mar-16 20:49:37

4 kids under 5?? Frankly you'd be superhuman if you still felt mad for it!! flowers

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