I didn't bf both of my dc's for very long. Ds1 was around 10 days and ds2 8 days. I found it really difficult for various reasons but mostly because I found it incredibly painful,
I couldn't seem to get either baby to latch properly and although both loved feeding after day 2 there was no skin left on my nipples and the whole feed would be agony, multiple attempts to break latch relatch and baby would be hysterical so I'd give in and put up with the pain until it was unbearable. So I expressed and bottle fed which won't have helped rectify the latch. This teamed with lots of other circumstances and I stopped and gave them formula.
I always regretted not bf ds1 so I really wanted to give it another go with ds2, but I hit all the same problems only this time with an older child to look after too.
Ds2 is 3 months now and every day I feel sad that I'm not breastfeeding him, I look at him and feel he deserves better and that I'm letting him down.
If I see a mum bfeeding I feel so envious, even though both boys are absolutely fine I can't shake off the feeling that I haven't given them the best start, I had milk I was able to feed them the natural way but took the easy option. I feel almost ashamed of formula feeding.
I've even considered trying to relactate but realistically if I couldn't even feed from word go in hardly going to achieve that.
I at least wish I'd seen it through until 6 weeks to give them the best start and to establish whether I was truly cut out for bfeeding, people say it gets easier at 6 weeks and in hindsight 6 weeks is a drop in the ocean but at the time it felt much bigger, I wish I'd got them checked for tongue tie as having read up I think that may well have been the problem.
I'm not looking for a pat on the back or sympathy but I need to find a way to move on and accept the decision I made as it's eating away at me atm.
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Postnatal health
How can I get over not bf?
14 replies
Pyjamaramadrama · 03/10/2015 08:07
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