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'Missing' the pregnancy experience.

(14 Posts)
imwithspud Sat 06-Jun-15 23:42:31

It's weird and kind of difficult to explain. I was so huge and uncomfortable during the last few weeks of my pregnancy that I couldn't wait for it to be over, not being able to be on my feet for more than 10 minutes without excruciating pain was getting old fast. Along with the repetitive comments and questions from just about everyone. Then when I went into labour I wasn't really coping well with the pain and again I just wanted it to be over, I screamed and yelled and in a haze of gas and air induced hysteria I claimed I was dying blush Now DC 2 is 10 days old and I'm finding myself 'missing' the whole experience and the attention it brings. I miss being pregnant, I miss going to my midwife appointments and despite wanting to be home asap after the birth, I even miss being in hospital afterwards.

I don't understand it, has anyone else felt like this and does the feeling pass? Is it some sort of weird baby blues thing? I feel okay most of the time but every now and then I selfishly miss the attention from being pregnant and giving birth. I don't remember feeling like this with DC1, but then I had a completely different experience in terms of the birth and my stay on the maternity wards afterwards. I'm going to be signed off from my Midwife after the weekend and it seems so final. I'm feeling sad about it and I don't know why, like it's the end of an era. I just hope the feeling passes, it has seemed to have gotten better over the last week or so. I just feel kind of bad really that I've spent the past few weeks being fed up and over the whole pregnancy thing and now here I am pining for it to come back again confused Like what is all that about? Is it normal?

WoonerismSpit Sat 06-Jun-15 23:51:50

I think it is; I certainly felt this way. I had a traumatic birth, and often wished I could go back and have a 'do over' of the last few months, to really appreciate the calm before the storm as it were, and redo my labour.

I suppose it's a bit like when you're young at Christmas, you spend so long looking forward to it, but then when it's upon you, you wish it was still to come.

I do still feel this way occasionally, and DD is 8 months, but I just remind myself that all of the things she has done, and will do, mean I should be looking forward and not back. Sorry if this is a bit disjointed, I can't articulate it very well.

And congratulations! flowers Those first few weeks are so bloody hard, make sure you look after yourself too flowers

seaoflove Sun 07-Jun-15 00:04:29

I understand. I've just had DC2 (definitely my last!) and I miss the feeling of being cared for - by family, and midwife and hospital appointments. Like you say, it's the end of an era.

I don't think that's uncommon. And that's not to say I'm not cared for now, but that it's a special time being pregnant and having people coo over you (or in my case, gasp in horror at how big I was) and when that's over you feel kind of ordinary and insignificant again smile

People coo over the newborn instead though and that's nice.

imwithspud Sun 07-Jun-15 07:52:39

Glad to know it's not just me! It's just ironic because I was sooo fed up towards the end. Hopefully the feeling passes soon. I don't really remember feeling like this with DC1.

imwithspud Sun 07-Jun-15 11:24:46

I love the Christmas analogy, I definitely felt like that as a child. That feeling of sadness upon going to bed on Christmas Day, but also happiness as I looked back on the memories created. That's basically how I'm feeling now down to a tee. And yes the whole being cared for thing is definitely something I miss, weirdly as I'm the sort of person who likes to try and do things for myself and not burden anyone else iykwim. Now it's kind of like "right, here's your baby - back to normality now!". I can imagine I will feel similar when my partners paternity leave finishes and he has to go back to work.

Panzee Sun 07-Jun-15 11:35:10

I remember that. I had a potentially high risk end of pregnancy and was wrapped in cotton wool, waited on and treated like a princess for the last few weeks. As soon as son was born it was obviously all about him, but it was a bit of a jolt for me! It really didn't last though. smile

imwithspud Mon 08-Jun-15 14:14:13

Good to know Panzee, I feel really guilty tbh as I know its selfish. Glad to know it doesn't last.

Roseybee10 Wed 10-Jun-15 19:29:01

I didn't feel this way at all with dd1. I was enormous and swollen and Uncomfy and terrified and never missed being pregnant once. M

However I loved being very pregnant with dd2. I loved the last ten week so much whereas I had hated it with dd1.

I got very down after dd2 was born as i missed my bump so desperately. I don't know if it's because she's our last and I know I'll never be pregnant again. I can't look at my bump pictures without crying.

imwithspud Wed 10-Jun-15 20:08:11

This baby is our last too, I do think that is contributing to the way I'm feeling. I didn't take any bump pictures this time round whereas I did with dc1 and I regret it nowsad

knowler Wed 10-Jun-15 20:15:54

I felt similar to this too. When I was signed off by the midwife and had to hand my yellow notes back I burst into tears blush

I think I just missed being the centre of attention and something 'special' - sounds a bit tragic now putting it in writing but I loved all the attention and care I got. And I missed hospital too!! Totally weird but normal I think OP.

imwithspud Wed 10-Jun-15 20:40:56

Yeah it sounds ridiculous when you put it into writing but it seems quite common, before making this thread I thought I was going mad!

I had a totally different hospital experience this time round, a much more positive one and I was home in less than 24 hours after the birth. All the midwives and hcp's I came into contact within hospital were amazing and lovely, when I got home I found myself missing it! Then my midwife started the home visits and she was lovely too, I always liked her but it felt more personal with her coming to my house and I felt like I could open up a bit more. Still miss all that now to an extent although I'm slowly getting used to this 'new normal'. With dc1 I was in hospital for 5 days and couldn't wait to see the back of the place and didn't miss my old midwife or my hospital stay or anything about the pregnancy at all.

Roseybee10 Wed 10-Jun-15 21:15:40

I miss the attention too tbh. I didn't really show noticably this time until after 30 weeks (16 weeks with dd1 lol) so I felt I missed out on the comments and chatting about it with people. I got my first 'when is baby due' comment at 36 weeks! No stranger had noticed before then.

I had a home birth with dd2 (hospital with dd1) and although it was wonderful and I much preferred it, I felt it was almost a 'non event' lol. I just got up the next morning and got on with things as normal.
Also, she came at 39+4 so I wasn't done being pregnant in my head at that point. I thought I would have at least another week with her.

imwithspud Wed 10-Jun-15 21:53:23

I can imagine a home birth would be a very surreal experience, It's not the same but I always find it strange leaving the hospital after having a baby. The way everything just carries on as normal, when you're in there trying your hardest to push a baby out and puffing on the gas and air like it's going out of fashion it's kind of like you're in your own little bubble and the whole world comes to a standstill except... it doesn't.

Roseybee10 Wed 10-Jun-15 22:35:19

Oh yeh definitely. It feels like the whole world should stop because you've just done something super human but no one even realised except the people that were in that room. D

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