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Getting out after the birth(6 Posts)
I'm a few weeks off giving birth to our first (it's a boy!) and we're very excited about what's the come. However, when I was at the GP's surgery for an antenatal check a few weeks ago, the health visitor introduced herself to me in the waiting room and made a big deal about being isolated after birth. We only moved to the area a few months ago and she started telling me that if I didn't get out and make friends NOW, I'd feel really isolated and be more prone to post-natal depression after the birth. That was a nice introduction, wasn't it!
To be honest, she sort-of spooked me a bit. I've been really busy with work - I finish next week - and have slowly started to meet people in the area (the NCT classes were great) but I don't like people scare-mongering like that. I told her that my partner would be at home quite a lot of the time (he mainly works from home) so she told me that often makes it even worse.
Is this really what I've got to look forward to or was she being a bit doom & gloom?
Wow is she Cassandra, prophet of doom! There is merit in what she says, in that particularly if you are a first time mum and/or have been working, it's a good idea to try some bumps and babies groups or NCT coffee mornings to meet people, before you have the new-parent exhaustion of the early days, and while you are still getting used to looking after your son.
But there is nothing to say that it won't be easy to make friends afterwards, particularly when you have the easy prop of a baby to start conversations. With your partner at home a lot it could be easy to slip into the trap of just staying in, but the old fashioned notion of a bit of fresh air does have some truth in it - even if it's just deciding you will go to the local shop/supermarket/cafe do make the effort to go out somewhere even if you don't feel like it, to give the day a purpose - and ideally find a local group with mums you can get along with that will become a habit you look forward to.
Just keep meeting up with your NCT group if you like them.
That's all I did at first and a couple of them have become really good friends.
Also made friends at toddler group but never set out specifically to do that, if that makes sense.
it depends... to be totally honest, i was very happy staying at home getting to know my new baby, having friends and family round and going out to theirs, meeting up for coffees etc etc
and i think with your partner being at home you'll find it a really valuable time to begin your life with your new baby together,,. just the 3 of you
I think there is a huge onus on new mums to get "out and about" and doing STUFF after baby is born. It isn't necessary unless you want to do it.... so go with the flow and do what you want to do at the time
if you do want to make new mummy friends there are usually plenty of mother and baby groups you can go to, baby signing, baby massage... i am sure you;ll find plenty to do in your area if you want to!
I went to a few things (massage, buggyfit, songs and rhymes) and saw the same faces at lots of them, which was nice.
I won't go as far as saying I've made particular friends though. I've not been round their houses/had them round, or anything like that.
I've come to the end of my maternity leave and have realised that I'm not that bothered about making lots of mum friends - although I do have my parents fairly close by, which makes a difference. If I was bored I went round theirs.
I think it also depends on what kind of person you are. I've always been quite happy in my own company, so going on lots of walks with my son in his pram suits me just fine. Chatting in a cafe with loads of other mums is fun, but not my favourite thing.
Hope all goes well with the birth.
Thanks guys, all good advice. I'm going to look up some local groups and try to get out a bit. Hopefully the Health Visitor will actually take the time to talk to me properly next time I see her before forecasting weeks of loneliness and despair!