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December 2008 - Its not wind they are smiling.(1001 Posts)
Here we go ladies Rosmerta suggestion.
Wow - Zoe, you are so clever!! That is really interesting. Must print and keep. I loved *Wife of the North* - LadyT have you read? May resonanate with your recent move (kind of, Oxforshire ain't Northumria!)
Glad quite a few seemed to have a good night last night! Ours was mixed. I was a bit tearful watching tv with DH and DD was feeding (see what I mean about Gina-lite, she was down in the living rm not "in the nursery with no lights no eye contact yada yada" ) and he messed up the sound and it suddenly came on massively loud and she yelped and lept of the breast. I just started sobbing...still at least I know her hearing is OK!
I just felt overwhelmed by the pressure of keeping another human being alive safe and fed. It's a massive pressure and I can see so many of us really beginning to feel it as we worry that we are bad mummies, not feeding well, stressed etc. But my goodness these are all such loved and cared for babies who are all getting the VERY best start in life with lovely Mums. So let's try and be kind to ourselves (hard I know when the one unifying emotion of parenting motherhood seems to be guilt, no matter what we do . Easy to say intellectually but at our dark moments it's easy to get upset, I know I do.
Kayz and Cat and anyone else particularly upset, I send big hugs to you. Good to talk to someone and work out what's best for you right now.
Also my view on cuddling to sleep is do it, if it works to get them to sleep. It won't be long til they are wriggly 6 month olds who won't lay on your chest. Its precious time and I don't worry about cuddling/feeding to sleep. I did with DC1 and missed out on proper cuddles etc.
Got to go and try and get the head down for an hour (she said optimistically)
Just getting myself on the new thread so it's om my 'threads I'm on'
Thanks for starting our post-natal thread Jam.
Hurrah, we are POST natal! Good job ladies
WOW Zoe - well done with the stats! Very impressive indeed
Well we had a tough night last night, and DS is not settling well again tonight so bit of a bummer there. Might be a growth spurt.
mibbes I was using Daktarin, you can also put it in your LO's mouth but it's a bit sticky and hard to do. For that reason I switched to Nystatin drops (both in DS' mouth and my nipples) and have just gone today to the doctor to get a prescription for oral Nystatin too as I want to get it cleared up quick smart before I start expressing next week with a pump. There's some good info here on thrush meds for you. ps: DS & I definitely both have thrush but my nipples etc look completely fine. They just feel painful/itchy when I get letdown (and sometimes when I'm not even feeding).
Verso hope you are doing ok. I too will miss your posts. I'm a bit worried you don't have great support at home though with your DH either, so please do be sure to talk to someone if you're feeling down. And of course we're always here for you too when you're ready to come back. XXX
arti hope you have some better luck with the new teat. My DS seems to have some trouble going from boob to dummy, perhaps it is the same thing? Anyway fingers crossed for the next attempt for you. Also great news on your DH's job offer in the US - I'd say go for it! You can always come back whenever you want if it doesn't work out.
Katie I bought one totsbots bamboozle too just to try it out (it was jumpjockey that was asking about cloth originally I think). We're using bamboo prefolds at the moment and we love them. They're kind of like standard cloth folding nappies but much easier to put on. But as soon as he gets a bit bigger we'll get fitted ones and I'll use the prefolds as stuffers or boosters - they are SO absorbant and still kind of feel dry when they're really wet (as a trade off they do take longer to dry though).
Veggie thanks for the thrush alternative remedies - will hunt them down tomorrow. I am a big pill popper at the moment! (Thyroxine, preggy vitamins, acidophillus, thrush meds). BTW have you tried using a dummy yet, or are you managing to settle without? (Sorry if I've missed that info - some of my notes are a bit old now!)
Kayz - a big <hug> for you and I second (third, fourth, whichever it is!) what everyone else has said about doing what's best for you & your lovely family.
LadyT what rude buggers those women were at the clinic. They are obviously suffering from envyitis... I guess you can't blame them though for lacking such glamour in their own lives
Indith hope you are coping better with DD - what are the AB's for? Sorry if I'm being daft and have missed something there.
Cat (and others) glad you liked the BW link - I should read it again myself as DS is now refusing to settle! aaargh.
Regards contraception - just wanted to say that my sister got pregnant with her 3rd on the minipill just after having her 2nd! So it doesn't work for everyone.
trace I'm jealous that birth certificates there in the UK are free or only cost £3.50. Here in Oz it costs a whopping $40 Mind you, the government also give us $5000 just for having a baby, so we can't complain too much I suppose
On a funny note DS has now had 2 manicures, and will soon be getting a third. His little teeny nails were so scratchy on my skin & I couldn't bear to use the baby nail clippers I bought, so I just filed them down when he fell asleep. I can't believe how fast his nails grow! Ahh, if only my own hands were as pampered <sigh>
I can hear DS stirring (oh no!) so had better go get the norks out. Kisses to all! xxxxxxxxxx
Hello all, hello new world of post-natal club! Excellent title, have posted a pic of dd's gummy little grin to prove the point 6 weeks yesterday, it really has gone so fast.
zoejeanne wow, thanks so much for the stats! it's really interesting to see how varied the babies are.
Turnip you're so right, the very fact we're worrying about how we're looking after our babies shows that we care and that they will all be just fine. As a friend said, on the particularly difficult days think "We've kept her alive and well for another day" and that's the most important thing.
Also have to agree with Ros, Arti etc and everyone else who likes to cuddle their LOs to sleep, we won't be able to for ever so let's enjoy it while we can. They're still so young that it's easy to teach them new habits if it turns out they're hard to settle when they get bigger.
kayz hope you're feeling ok today, and have managed to talk to your HV.
My big dilemma of the moment (and it is a biggie!) - dd is being baptised on Saturday and lots of the scottish family (about 10)are coming down. They want to come and visit her on Friday to get a sneak preview before the big event - that's ok as DH is happy to tell them to leave after half an hour if she gets tired - what with a big day on Sat we really need her to have a good night's sleep if possible. The problem is that yesterday was MIL's 70th birthday so there's a big family dinner arranged for the Sat evening as we're all together, in a restaurant that's a taxi journey away (DH has volunteered to drive us). I really don't know whether to go - yes it would be lovely to share the event, but dd often gets grizzly in the evenings and I really don't want her to spend several hours crying - she'll have had an unsettled day as it is. I'd be more than happy to whop one out and feed her in the restaurant(even in front one uncle who's a crotchety retired prirest of 75 ) but my fear is for the other diners as much as dd - it's not as if I could just walk home with her. But if I don't go I'd have to deal with her being grizzly on my own, and probably have nothing for tea but beans on toast rather than a lovely Italian and some nice vino [massive self pity icon]
Any sage advice, oh wise december ladies?
oops just posted on old thread:
Just a quick one from me - no time to do a proper catch-up, just profiting from a rare moment when I have 2 hands free (DD is not very putdownable, and I'm far too impatient to type one-handed).
Congrats to emmanbubba on the birth of Amber. Wish I could lose my bump as easily as you have!
Sorry to hear about all those of you who are having torrid times - I had a terrible time with DS and remember all too well how hard it can be. I second what Effie said about it not affecting them long term as well - DS's first few weeks were full of stress and anxiety for all of us and he is a happy, well-adjusted and simply lovely child (most of the time). I'm counting my blessings this time round as DD is an easy baby. She's 5 and a half weeks old now and is just starting to smile. Already I think I can discern that she is more nervous and less outgoing than DS. Can't wait to see how her personality develops over the next few months.
We have a date for moving out of London - 1st April. Would be lovely to pack in as many meet-ups as poss before then. Would anyone be up for a proper big meet-up in Central London at some point between now and the end of March? There are quite a few of you I haven't yet met and it would be nice to put faces to names, and some of you that I've already met and would like to see again before my exile.
I'm tempted to get the train to London for a meet up. I'd love to meet up with you all and I really feel like I could do with a good day out.
zoe thanks for the stats - good stuff.
jj mmm that is a dilemma. I have to say I think I'd be tempted to stay at home with some nice scran and a nice bottle of wine cos I'd find it too stressful to enjoy it.
On the cuddles front, I'd agree with those who say you can't cuddle enough. Has anyone heard of the first 3 months referred to as the fourth trimester? I vaguely remember reading about it and I think it was along the lines of babies benefiting from conditions that are as womb-like as possible for the 1st 12 weeks or so.
PD re the fourth trimester concept, what I remember from our ante-natal teacher: Human babies have evolved to have big heads to fit in the brains that enable us to communicate and do all the other stuff that separates us from other animals, so to be able to be born human babies have to come out sooner (relatively) than other animals - baby horses come out and are ready to run about straight away but human babies still have lots of very basic developing to do, which if they did in the womb they'd never be able to get out of their mother's pelvises. So the first few months after birth are getting used to lots of things that they used to do in the womb (we're talking a looooong time ago!).
Hmm, I'm sure someone else will be able to explain it better! But yes, first 3 months are all about comforting babies and easing their transition into the world.
London meet-up - I'd be tempted to give it a try as well, let's see if we can get lots of us together to meet up and coo at each other's darling LOs
kayz - how are you feeling? have you made contact with your hv? I've thought about trying to go to a london meet up too - we must be mad!! Yes i'mstill on for york on Friday. How about 11 at the Slug and Lettuce - think it's on Swinegate. not sure how to contact lal - do you know which is her email? I'll email you my mobile number.
I've rung her and left a message so just waiting to hear from her.
11 it is!! DH is going to take me there as I have a vague idea but knowing me I will get lost!!!
Do you want me to e-mail Lal?
effie - sorry you're feeling anxious about LO's safety. it's scary - i think we have to ask ourselves whether our fears are rational or irrational - assuming a car is going to mount the pavement and kill our babies in their buggies is irrational (although it didn't feel it when i had that thought!), but worrying about them slipping under the duvet in bed is probably rational. if you know you are that tired, can you get out of bed to feed, or have a drink and something to eat or suck on, to keep you awake? I can't feed lying down as i know i'd fall asleep and would worry about lo's safety. Plenty of people will say we have an instinct and wouldn't harm our babes, but IMHO extreme tiredness - which is surely what we have - could overrule the instinct. [prepares to be shot down for lack of faith in maternal instinct]. I'm not saying people shouldn't co-sleep/ feed in bed...I just think you have to acknowledge your worries and act on them if need be. Does that make any sense?
Cat - please don't feel like you've made your baby stressed. You have given him life and love! Babies cry - especially when they have colic and reflux - he would be crying whoever his mummy was - and what he needs is you! Some times people say things and they go so deeply into us we can't forget them, but I really hope you can erase those words from your memory because your LO is not stressed and traumatised.
oh yes please kayz. i keep forgetting what peoples real names are so get really confused by the email list!
Look at us, all grown up and Post natal!
I'm tempted by a London meet up too, but don't think I can face it with DS and DD. At least 3 hours on the train with both of them, urgh.
I've sent her an e-mail so hopefully she'll be there!!
Zoe are you able to come on Friday or not?
jj - your smiley baby pic is gorgeous - it really made me smile!!!
i think i officially ming...i just went to the loo whilst holding phoebe because she's in a 'don't put me down' mood!
Just a quickie Cat I know i said last wk about meeting up am sorry but I cant do anything till the end of the month, found out yesterday that although DP still works for the same company they have changed paternity since DS1 and only 1wk was full pay the 2nd was stat so we are super skint.
Got a confession to make, I've managed to delete the contact list. Can someone email me the latest version? I'm on the list (Jo)
This all makes it very real - being post natal rather than ante natal - but yay to us for all getting here with our lovely babies
jj your daughter's smile is beautiful. Once we've all got smiley babies we should have a virtual wall with all their happy faces on it, to make us all happy (don't have a clue how that would work, but I like the idea of all the happy baby faces to look at)
bisou hope your boy settles quickly, and your thrush clears up soon
kayz/trace I'm very of your meet up on Friday, but I won't come this time as I'm still a scaredy cat about driving that far - have just managed a 2 mile trip so far - and to think I used to do it everyday. Have fun, and I'll be thinking of you in the slug and lettuce. Please let's have another in a few more weeks, once I've got my confidence back and not convinced I'll damage DD with my poor driving (and trace - I also thought a car would mount the pavement the first time I took DD out in her pram, so silly, but so easy to worry).
A work colleague has been round to see me this afternoon - already there's 3 new people started since I went on ML and all the desks have moved round - it sounds so different, but I don't miss it. It was lovely to see her though cause I do miss the people, and to get the gossip from the christmas do!
DD is stirring and I want to get myself a cuppa and a biscuit before she demands my boobs ... must go
You're all so sweet, missing me. Thanks for the new thread, and the stats on the old one. I don't want to bring the thread down but I've only had 90 minutes' sleep since Friday night and am pretty ill with exhaustion. DD2 has been feeding every hour on the hour and then going down for 20 minutes and then SCREAMING for more. It all started with her having a cold on Friday and has just degenerated into farce.
I was so desperate I called La Leche League today but got FOUR separate answerphones . I know they are volunteers but is it too much to ask to get to speak to ONE person? Then in extremis called my HV. Wish I hadn't as she was useless: "no one can say how long a growth spurt will last". However it was helpful that I inadvertently found out while talking to her that they'd booked me for my postnatal check with that cow of a GP who didn't believe boob thrush exists. I have changed the appointment - no way am I seeing her again! Means I'm now getting an eight-week check not a six-week (glad I didn't wait for the all-clear before driving again! ).
Anyway - as you can see things have been pretty rough here. I keep telling myself it's "just a growth spurt" but four/five days with no sleep is killing me. I have decided to give formula tonight as I am exhausted. HV "couldn't you express some milk for your DH to give?" On how many levels is that just a WRONG concept?! Like WHEN AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPRESS THE GODDAMN MILK?!
Verso Sorry you are having a rough time. HVs are pretty useless aren't they.
I hope your DH is going to give tonights feed!! If not then bloody well make him, you need some sleep.
I have been lurking trying to keep up with everyone but have not managed to find time to post! I have however made good use of all the advice on wind and burping so big thanks.
I'm sorry for everyone that is having bad nights - I think that once it is quiet and dark and the rest of the world is sleeping things seem that much worse!
Can I just say that I am totally in awe of those of you with more than one DC - you are amazing! I can just about cope with one....
Now that the weather has improved a little I would definitely be up for some London meet ups (I'm in SE London, but pretty central!).
Verso: DS2 is having a growth spurt as well, I find it hard when he wakes any more often than every 2 hours, every hour is a killer (. DS1's growth spurts used to last 3 days and were awful, he was grumpy as well as feeding the whole time, bah to those who say that things settle down 'in a day or so'.
London meet-up sounds great . Can I put in an early plea for meeting on a Thursday as I won't have to run round after DS1?
Bad night last night, in tears this morning at the prospect of another day with no rest (DS1 is fighting his daytime nap) but felt a lot better for a hot bath and a walk in the park. Then miraculously DS1 went down for a nap at 3ish so I had some sleep as well
Kayz: did you talk to your HV?
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