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has anyone used a maternity nurse?

(9 Posts)
silvermum Wed 02-Jul-08 19:48:34

i'm thinking of taking on a maternity nurse for our second LO and would be interested in tips from anyone else who's used one. this would be a huge cost for us so i want to think carefully about whether it is worth it and for how long we might have her for. i have no family nearby and managed pretty much by myself first time round with la few hours help from a postnatal doula and lots of help from DH but it was really tough and i had no chance at all to recover from a very long traumatic labour and birth. needless to say it was absolutely worth it and i'm sure it will be much easier second time round, but the thought of someone helping with the nights is very appealing. obviously a mat nurse is a massive luxury and we are lucky even to be able to consider it. my DS will be 20 months old when the LO comes along.

Verso Wed 02-Jul-08 20:09:30

silvermum I'm thinking of hiring a night nanny rather than a maternity nurse this time round. I had no help from DH or my family first time and I ended up totally exhausted as DD was very colicky and didn't sleep more than an hour or so at a stretch for almost eight months. (I also had a traumatic labour and birth and am really sorry to hear you did too.)

Night nannies tend to be cheaper as you can hire them for a night here and there rather than weeks in a row.

I think as long as I know I'm getting at least one definite night a week of sleep I think I will be able to cope. A real low point last time was when DH PROMISED to do one Friday night, and I looked forward to it through all the long long hours of the week beforehand, and then on the night itself he said he was "too tired" and went up to bed. (I have to forgive him a bit as he does have MS, but I was desperate for a night off!)

I get the impression from looking into it that maternity nurses can be quite bossy - they 'help' you establish a routine etc. This time round, I just want sleep - I know how I want to look after my baby!

HTH

lulumama Wed 02-Jul-08 20:10:47

many post natal doulas do overnight stays, so worth asking, especially the doula you ahd last time

silvermum Wed 02-Jul-08 20:27:19

it was mars doula, she was fabulous, but it's more expensive that way unless you just do it for a couple of nights. the best thing about mars was she knocked my teenage stepson's ass into gear. he's still scared at the thought of her! but he secretly loved it. she has a big family so i can't imagine she'd want to be around for more than a very occasional night.
verso how i remember those promises not being delivered on - i don't think DPs quite understand JUST how much you look forward to it! to be fair my DH was pretty good doing Friday nights but much less reliable about promised lie ins these day!

lulumama Wed 02-Jul-08 21:41:39

mars is so good ! if i had another baby, i;d move to london for her to doula me!

you never know, give her a call grin

lulumama Wed 02-Jul-08 21:42:04

i also know hertsnessex does overnight care.. she advertises on here so you can find her detials that way

hertsnessex Thu 03-Jul-08 08:02:59

mars and i done some overnight shared care for a client last yr. She wanted 4nights/week and we alternated it between ourselves.

why not look on Doula Uk for doulas near you.

xx

poshtottie Thu 03-Jul-08 08:17:16

Hi silvermum,

I'm a maternity nurse and I'm definitely not bossy. smile As you are having your second baby you could consider a maternity trainee and someone who is willing to help out with your older child, this will keep the cost down. Just because someone has more experience doesn't mean they will be better. Its more of matching someone to fit in with what you want.

dannyb Sat 27-Sep-08 18:34:05

I had one for my first child for 2 weeks and she was great but with hindsight I don't think that she was good for BF as I was struggling and gave up too easily. She seemed to support me at the time but actually I think that because she could give a bottle, I let her rather than ploughing on. She was wonderful for building my confidence though and helped me get some much needed rest.

Second time round I am sure that having her there would have just driven me nuts so I had a night nurse 3 times a week for a month from week 3. I BF until midnight, she gave a 3ish bottle of EBM and woke me at 6 for another BF. This worked very well for me and I had no supply issues.

If we have #3 I doubt I'll have anyone as my DC's are rubbish sleepers so I'll be up at night anyway

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