i want to curl and up and die and just typing that has made me feel sick. i don't know for sure but over the last few days things have got worse. i dont want to talk to a doctor as i'm terrified that my babies will be taken and i will be put on tablets.
over last few days my dd1 has been ill so have had hardly any sleep and dd2 is still very young. i feel exhausted and i am snapping at any little thing. dh should be at work but i broke down in tears and he has come home. he thought i wanted to leave him.
with dd1 i was really down in pg and then for a short while after her birth. it seems to have come back with avengance.
i feel like that i'm a failure sometimes and when i forget about how down i get i feel normal. it helps to get out the house to which i dont do often as we share the car and my dh does full time shift work
it also gets very difficult when we have dss. i dont know why.
am i over reacting? maybe i dont. maybe its just me being down? how do you know?
earlier both the girls were crying and i just couldn'y do anything to help. i had to put my youngest down as i was scared i was going to lose my temper. my dd1 was crying and i pushed her away. i feel disgusted with myself.
how could i do that to my baby? please dont think i'm a bad mum i really am not. i am just struggling. thats normal isnt it?
i feel sick and i'm sat here in tears. my dh is staying home with me tonight and is helping put dd's to bed. i have not spoke to anyoneand it was only after today that dh realised it was just me being down and was relieved as he thought i wanted to leave him
someone please tell me i am not alone. i'm so scared and i keep blocking it out as i would rather not think about it. i know now that its a silly thing to do as its just getting worse. dh is going to come with me to doctors. do i have to go? what if you start getting social services knocking on my door?
there are so many horror storys and i think that that is scaring me more. its just a stage where i need someone to talk to.
i'm sorry for such a long post and well done if you have read it to the end. thanks for listening.
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im so down is this post natal depression?
35 replies
nonamejustyet · 04/12/2007 18:56
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