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E.A.S.Y Routine vs. going with the flow(13 Posts)
Hi - DS is just over 3 weeks old and thus far have been demand feeding him and going with the flow. I have the baby whisperer book and am considering trying to start implementing the EASY routine. But am in 2 minds.
The demand feeding is going ok - unpredictable but I wonder will I regret not trying to implement some kind of routine in a few months?
However a friend who did routine with her LO says that in hindsight she regretted sticking to a strict routine as it made them too rigid and she wished she had just gone with the flow in the early days.
So what are peoples thoughts/ experiences?
Trust your instincts! I don't think EASY is terribly rigid but unless you are experiencing any specific problems, I would just carry on as you are. I didn't implement any routines devised by an expert (although read lots of parenting books!) and have no regrets. It's a very personal thing but sometimes I think the ability to use your instincts is stifled by too much reading.... Good luck!
PS DS now almost 2yo. Can't say it was a smooth ride - waking in the night until about 1yo for example - but as I say, no regrets.
IME (3 children) I think EASY is spot-on, but that routine should always be a guide, rather than a master. Of course there will be times when you need to dedicate yourself to following the routine to the letter (to establish it) , and other times when the routine can be relaxed.
I see how my LOs thrive on routine, and how the youngest, who has minimal routine but tags along on the others, is much more unsettled and harder to manage - despite eing a very happy jolly child.
I read the BW book (about the only baby manual I bought) but she wound me up so much that after a short while I threw it out. Her breastfeeding 'advice' comes in for a lot of stick from the BF experts on here, and I think her categorisation of babies into five 'types' is laughable.
Three weeks is teeny tiny and your baby will find his own routine as he gets a little bigger.
i think 3 weeks is tiny too, but then come across instances of people leaving it too late to implement routine and then have a hard run of it.
i agree that too much reading can make you go bananas!
go with the flow, you will only stress yourself by trying to get ds into a routine at this age! Just enjoy him and think about the routine again in a couple of months, at this age they usually start falling into a noticable pattern for themselves anyway.
I read the bw too and thought it was good, although I just took the parts that I felt I could use easily in my own life. Tbh my dd settled into a nice routine for herself after a few months and now at 8m old she is pretty predictable!
I do however remember getting myself in a right state about the 'routine' that everyone was telling me I should be in at about 6wks - I kept a log of everything she did to try and see if there was a pattern but at that young she was very changeable! MN said 'chill out!' so I did and will be forever grateful!
I agree with everyone here - go with the flow, because 3 weeks is too early to start with a routine. I really regret getting too stressed in the early days about not having a routine, with pfb dd, but eventually found the right time to do the whole Baby Whisperer thing. The most important thing is not to get too tied up with "types", give ds a chance to show you what he fancies as a routine, and just stick to the concepts she outlines when the time is right (and you'll know when it is - I think 3 months is a good time to know what to do!.
Just sticking my nose in! I found that going with the flow was easier so early on. We only got to EASY when she was weaned, and even then it was a good month or so before a real routine surfaced. About 7 - 8m. Don't panic! She was predictable much earlier than that but each day was variable.
The E is still solids not milk - she still needs a BF before a nap if I want to put her in the cat - she is 12m - partly me not wanting to push her - partly her loving the boob!
huge thank you to everyone who has shared, BW will be put away for the time being and as advised I will just go with the flow. as some of you have said - a pattern is already beginning to emerge and I am sure it will change lots.
definitely go with the flow. but i must say the EASY 'sequence' helped me to learn to recognise what the baby needed next.. ie, feed, bit of activity, then when she was grumpy i knew it was because she was sleepy and it was time for a nap. babies do seem to follow that pattern. but, i did stick another E in there before the S - EAESY! Which is prob why dd now has bf/sleep association things going on, but what the heck. its nice and its easy.
and i'm knackered.
a resounding vote for going with the flow. egypt - i totally agree, have found it useful to ID when my LO is getting tired etc and cues to put him to sleep.
I am following the EASY routine and it's saved my life. My baby is 3 weeks old and she's been on it for about 2 weeks. All of us are sooooo much happier; she knows the difference between night and day and all of us are getting much more regular sleep. i havne't followed the routine to the letter, instead I've adapted it to fit my daughter's needs and preferences - obviously you can't force a baby to follow anything. But the basics are working really well for us and I am so much happier. I have learnt to relax with the routine though; initially I was a bit militant but my little girl and i have worked through that together and are finding our own way forward. I personally would recommend the routine to anyone, but with the caveat that you must adapt it and expect some deviation
Dal21, why not read the book but just for the info she gives about tired/hungry cues, and also the stuff about overstimulation and reflux/winding - that's all quite useful stuff to keep in mind in the early stages and you can decide later about routines. BW doesn't give definite times for things to happen, just an idea of a pattern of eat-activity-sleep (and then 'you', which made me laugh..yeah right, dishwasher/laundry/MN more likely!), which is pretty flexible (activity is often 'nappy change' or 'snuggle with mum' especially so weeny). I also found her tone of voice infuriating and the baby-typing pointless..but do like the idea of observing your baby to try to work out what's wrong, talking to them and moving slowly and calmly with them etc, which is all there if not the main focus of the book.