FTM who’ve given birth during Covid-19

[Gigitree]

How did you find the experience if your partner had to go home after the birth?
How are you finding not being able to introduce your little one to family and friends?

[aprilshowers2015]

Hi! My DD is 8 days old today. I was induced at 41+3 and she was born the following morning. The hardest part was DH dropping me at the door of the labour ward and not knowing when I'd see him again. He missed all the build up but I was fine on my own and the midwives couldn't have been more supportive. We called him back the following morning when I was 4cm and by the time he got to hospital (half an hour) I was fully dilated and pushing!
Ended up with forceps and episiotomy and I think the staff were slightly more lenient with how long he could stay after.
We stayed in for two nights and DD wasn't a fan of sleeping so tbh I was glad he was at home and being able to sleep!
Not seeing people has been tough, my mum has met her through a window and MIL via face time. We've enjoyed the time together though and not having to pander to and endless stream of visitors!
I was quite nervous before but it's all working out well so far.
We also did NCT and it's great to have a little support gang and we're so looking forward to meeting up again with the babies when we're able to 😀😀

[Gigitree]

@aprilshowers2015 ah that’s fab I’m so glad to hear you’ve had a positive experience! And at least your family have been able to virtually meet the little one.
I must admit I would hate being dropped off by my DH and not knowing how long before he would get to come back, but sounds like he was able to be there for a large amount of it so that’s really good!

[Whatelsecouldibecalled]

I gave birth to my first baby day before the peak so full lockdown! I was induced at 40+2. But strange my husband dropping me off in the car park knowing we were going to have a baby. In all honesty it was totally fine. Looking back now I don’t know what he would have done while we were waiting for things to kick off apart from just sat looking at each other haha. I went in at 10am. Had the Pessary in at 11am. Bounced on a ball a lot and watched Netflix. Mild period type pains at 6pm. Had a bath and two paracetamol at 11pm. Waters went spontaneously at 1am. Phoned my husband. 3cm dilated. He got to hospital as things were happening quite quick. Full blown contractions at 3am. Baby born happy and healthy at 6.30am. I had a third degree tear so had to go the theatre to be repaired around 8am. DH had the baby whilst this was happening (about an hour or so) when I came out of theatre I had a stats crash and was quite poorly which wasn’t great. Everyone in a bit of a stress about covid until a very calm consultant anesthetist Called around down and said it was a reaction to the spinal they had given me. Scary as hell for husband watching it all with our new born baby in his arms. However was fine once they sorted me out. The hardest bit was him having to leave once we moved to postnatal wars. He said he found that very tough. I said he needed to get a decent nights sleep so he could be on top form the following day! We were then discharged at 5pm the following day.

It’s been Hard not seeing people. We had started to introduce him to immediate family. DH family live a long way away so have had to wait to be able to travel. However been nice in other ways just to connect and get used to life as a three with no other pressures.

Good luck

[LazJaz]

Gave birth at the very peak of lockdown, baby is now 15 weeks.
Labour was weird - ended in emergency C sec (my choice, baby back to back, no progress, waters broken a long time so it was that or hormonal augmentation which I had been told with the presentation I had would likely end in instruments/c sec anyway).
I presented at hospital not very dilated but already massively dehydrated as I’d been throwing up everything for a very long time, couldn’t really walk/move. Husband had to wait outside for 5 hours while I was in a drip before they sent me downstairs to delivery suite. I don’t remember this time clearly but he was v upset and stressed as no information was coming to him about my & baby’s condition.
The weeks since DS’s birth have been not like I imagined. We live with my parents - THANK GOD because I would have been swamped without them. But I am now really suffering mentally as there is nothing in my life other than DS (who is amazing but doesn’t yet have great chat). Can’t go and see any of my friends (they live in central London, we’re in the Home Counties, I don’t drive and don’t want to risk public transport), no mum and baby groups, can’t even really go to the shops as so nervous about catching COVID-19. We haven’t been able to celebrate his birth with friends or extended family. neither husbands mother nor his sister have been able to meet DS yet. His father and aunt have but all v strange, behind masks, held him whilst wearing a sheet - not joyful.
I’m really finding this hard - I had a different vision for maternity leave.

Have to say though that the hospital was really great and all the medical professionals That I have seen since his birth have been - the only semi “normal” interactions we have had.

I would say that it is important to get some support at home if it’s just you and DH- this should be easier now that the rules have eased.
All the best!

[MummytoArthur]

I had a csection 6 weeks ago, my partner was allowed in about 20 mins before csection. Then allowed to stay whilst I was in recovery (around 90 mins).

I cried my eyes out when he had to leave, thankfully my ward only had two other women there, and midwives were fantastic so it was peaceful and stress free. I was discharged 21 hrs after csection.

My overall experience was very good despite partner not being able to stay.

We're starting to have family round now, one or two at a time and mask wearing, hand gel is a must. Not ideal but making the best of it.

[Sls668]

I had an induction and like a PP has said - I don’t actually know what we would’ve done in there together, he would’ve been bored stupid! I was sent to delivery at 1cm (just over 12 hours later) due to bleeding and he joined me for the next 12 hours until we got sent for an emergency section at 1pm. He was allowed to stay until around 6.30pm when I got taken to the ward to stay a night. Again, I feel like I couldn’t imagine having him stay over with me, the booths are so small and I struggled for space with just me and the baby 😂
Personally I found it fine but, as baby is my first) I did have nothing to compare it to....

[Alice0901]

I gave birth in September. I’m a FTM so I didn’t have anything to compare my experience to - I think maybe that helped me.
I was very lucky in that the hospital I was at allowed my partner to stay longer than the usual Covid visiting hours due to my personal medical history. I was also very lucky to have a side room so had some privacy when I was alone and could have a shower in the en suite etc.

After coming home I have found lockdown really tough. I’ve seen family and friends outside and now the restrictions have lifted slightly in terms of being allowed to form a bubble if you have a chilled under 1 it’s easier. My sister had a baby in April and I have seen my nephew once in that time. She has never met her niece and she’s now 12 weeks old. I find it all very unnatural!

[Fluffy20]

I gave birth in November it was so damn hard! Although my husband was allowed to stay all day up until 2hrs after my c section. He wasng allowed to come and collect me from ward walking with the baby and luggage was painful. Not having my parents and family around to visit baby was so hard and lonely. I had a side room so i had my own space and the hospital was amazing. Im a ftm x

[Nazz10]

I had my DS at the beginning of April. We were extremely lucky that the week prior to me going into labour (39+5) our hospital changed their covid & antenatal/labour rules. So prior to the change, my partner could attend the whole labour but had to leave afterwards and could only visit during visiting times on the ward (I think it was 8-8). But then they changed it so you could have two birthing partners! So my mum was able to be there too. The only stipulation was they had to do lateral flow tests twice weekly and then on the day of me going into labour. My mum ended up staying at home until I was in established labour though.
Our midwife who delivered DS was soooo nice and left us to it afterwards for around 3 hours to have some family time before I was taken to the maternity ward. My partner and mum then went home and he came back at 8am (had DS very early hours in the morning so he only got a few hours sleep). He was able to stay with me until I was discharged home later that afternoon.

We were also really lucky that the covid restrictions had just been lifted slightly so we could meet in groups of 6 or 2 households outdoors and we had glorious weather in the week or two after DS was born. So we did just that. Met some family in our garden. It was nice to socialise a little and feel a little normal again!

[Polkadot123]

I had my baby on 21st March. Partner was allowed in from 3cm. We got to the hospital at 5pm. Baby was born at 11.20pm and partner stayed with me until we left the next day at 1pm. No issues whatsoever. Maybe we were just lucky but the experience was incredibly positive and couldn’t of asked for more from the hospital x

[DocsOddSocks]

@Gigitree I gave birth early morning and my husband was allowed to stay til 3pm. I hated not having him there but looking back now, it was good he did go home as I HAD to do things for myself and our baby. When she was born, I was terrified of holding her in case I dropped her but with her Daddy not being there, it was upto me.

Make sure you take things to keep you occupied