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Newborn support group anyone?

(273 Posts)
CupCupGoose Mon 02-Mar-20 23:21:13

Anyone else want to join me for a bit of moral support?

DC3 was born on the 28th February (so pleased he wasn't born on the leap year day!)

He doesn't like being put down so I'm pretty exhausted. DH and I are taking turns to sit up with him at night but as I'm breastfeeding, I'm having to do more. I know it's not forever though.

Milk has just come in so I'm feeling pretty emotional at the moment. Again, I know it will pass!

I'm just about to attempt to put him down in the crib, wish me luck!

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anotherexhaustedpigeon Tue 03-Mar-20 03:54:58

Hi @cupcupgoose I'll join you! I've had about 20mins sleep since you posted - hope you've had more luck than me! At 2 I had a breakdown and woke DH, who then just sat next to me juggling crying baby so I still couldn't sleep - not helpful! Usually he's amazing but he's crap in the middle of the night. This is DC2 for me, I can't believe you're doing this a third time 😩

CupCupGoose Tue 03-Mar-20 15:48:54

I can't believe I'm doing it a third time either! How old is your baby? Did you manage to get any sleep last night? My DH is a bit useless at night too. The first night home, it was his shift and nappy needed changing. Instead of taking him downstairs, he changed him on the bed while he screamed so I might as well have done it myself.

I'm feeling very emotional today. Doesn't help that I woke up to a message from my boss saying I wasn't actually entitled to maternity pay and I'd have to pay back all the money they'd given me for the last 4 weeks. I definitely know I am entitled to it though as I've triple checked. So I've spent the day crying.

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GagaBinks Tue 03-Mar-20 16:42:53

I'll join!

My boy is just over 2 weeks old now. I'm breastfeeding and it can get overwhelming how much they depend on you. I'm trying to express two bottles a day so my husband can do some of the night shift but it didn't work yesterday so I had a night of waking every 2 hours for a 30 minute minimum feed. 😴 Can't believe I used to sleep for 10 hours a night pre-baby!

CupCupGoose Tue 03-Mar-20 17:09:01

@GagaBinks hi is this your first? I breastfed all of mine and it is hard when they rely on you so much. Do you mind me asking when you first introduced a bottle? I couldn't get either of my first two to take one but I don't want to introduce one too early. Not sure what to do!

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GagaBinks Tue 03-Mar-20 17:19:45

Yeah he is my first so I'm still learning so much on a daily basis!

I bought an electric pump on day 4 because I was just totally exhausted and needed to sleep. He had latched uncomfortably and I felt my nipples were red raw so was willing to try anything. He doesn't have a problem at all switching between boob and bottle. I read online that 'bottle confusion' or whatever they call it is actually quite rare and I was at the stage of wanting to give up the breastfeeding so thought it was worth one final try. We're now day 16 and he's on me 80% of the time and bottles for the other.

Still haven't breastfed in public though... I'm too nervous of people staring 😩

CupCupGoose Tue 03-Mar-20 17:34:13

I totally remember being scared to do it in public but I'll happily do it anywhere now. Wear a vest top under your clothes and put a folded muslin cloth other the top of your boob to cover yourself up a bit more if that helps.

I've got a breastpump already so you've inspired me to give it a go tomorrow. Don't think I can't be bothered to wash all the parts tonight! I really hope I can get this one to take a bottle!

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Lcw29 Tue 03-Mar-20 18:50:12

Hi I'm joining too. Saw your post @CupCupGoose on the other thread. Great idea.

My little boy is a week old now but wont go down either. He just wakes up and cries until held. Then before I know it he is hungry again. The times he has gone down I then can't sleep as I'm paranoid he's going to be sick....he's had terrible wind and colic.
Hubby isn't that great in the night either. He is trying tho bless him.

I tried breastfeeding but he wont latch. Just ended up biting my nipple... kept trying but just couldn't get him on properly. I've decided to formula feed exclusively now as I was getting frustrated. I'm a little disappointed but midwife said to just look after myself especially as I have had a uterine infection.

Really hope tonight is better for all of us

CupCupGoose Tue 03-Mar-20 19:32:17

@Lcw29 I totally get you on the being paranoid ds is going to be sick when I put him down as he's sick after every feed. He's also been very windy. He farts constantly and it smells terrible. Honestly didn't know babies could smell so bad!

Have you recovered from your infection?

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Lcw29 Tue 03-Mar-20 19:40:37

@CupCupGoose I'm.on the last few days of my antibiotics and have my midwife coming tomorrow to check. I feel much better though. I recognized the signs quite early on thankfully.

Yep babies are so stinky and messy. Although currently my 2 yr old sons ones are much worse!!!

CupCupGoose Wed 04-Mar-20 03:13:42

Glad you caught it early and you're feeling better.

My milk came in properly tonight and I feel like a porn star with these boobs! It's so painful. Ds has just gone back to sleep and I think it's the first time I wish he'd wake up again for a feed.

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Willow4987 Wed 04-Mar-20 03:37:20

I’ll join! DS2 is now 18 days old and I’m exhausted.

I can’t remember when they start sleeping for longer stretches but my god I can’t wait. The one or 2 hours sleep at a time is killing me and I’ve got a permanent headache now

Breastfeeding is going ok for us but I want to move to formula at 8 weeks as I really really don’t mentally like breastfeeding. But with Coronavirus and having an 18m toddler I’m not so sure now. I feel like I should keep going a bit longer as I can play one handed which I can’t do with a bottle etc. But then I really want him to take a bottle so will probably start combi feeding for 1 or 2 feeds a day. Hopefully it doesn’t kill my milk

anotherexhaustedpigeon Wed 04-Mar-20 03:46:13

Ouch @Lcw29 that's pretty rough! My DS is 12 days old, immediately damaged both nipples first latch so today is the first time feeding with no nipple shields. DH snoring peacefully away next to me as I wrestle the baby to get him to latch. I'm so tired I'm paranoid I'm going to suffocate him! Last night I managed to get a couple of 30 min stints in - tonight is better as I'm getting about 2 hours at a time.

CupCupGoose Wed 04-Mar-20 05:01:31

I don't enjoy breastfeeding either. I feel like I should do it though.

I've been up since 2 trying to get ds to go back in his cot but every time I put him down he wakes up again. Really struggling to stay awake now. My two older kids will be awake in about an hour.

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Willow4987 Wed 04-Mar-20 06:07:59

Glad to know it’s not me! Physically we don’t have any issues feeding. I just really dont like it. It was the same with DS1 also.

Oh bless you! It’s so difficult when you’ve got older ones and you can’t just nap all day long. The baby’s been feeding for 5 mins at a time for me so basically isn’t sleeping past 3am

Lcw29 Wed 04-Mar-20 07:33:56

Lastt night seemed easier to get him down after a few feeds until 3am when he decided to go down for an hour, then wake and be sick. Changed sheets and clothes only then he was hungry again. DiD feed but it was on and off ....broke down at 5:30 and have just managed to put him down 20 mins ago....but doesn't look promising

Also hubby is back at work. Knackered

Any tips on winding? He does not like burping

Willow4987 Wed 04-Mar-20 08:00:43

@Lcw29 you could try infacol, it might help to make burping easier. My DS absolutely hates it when I give it to him but I do think it helps

Lcw29 Wed 04-Mar-20 09:52:50

@Willow4987 yescwe have got that and it has helped. He hasn't got bad colic now. One night he cried all night long until we got infacol!

Willow4987 Wed 04-Mar-20 09:57:04

Hopefully it gets better with the burping soon then! Eventually when they work out how to do it, it’s much easier then grin

potatoesofdefiance Wed 04-Mar-20 10:21:35

Hi can I join? DS (my 4th!) was also born on 28th. So far he can't be put down for more than a couple of minutes and today is the first time he's been awake for more than a few minutes without either crying or feeding, progress I guess! I sleep with him cuddled in bed next to me and just stick a boob in when he stirs, that way we both get some rest as he's awake and screaming within seconds if I put him down alone. DH does nothing at night but does get up with the 2 year old who keeps waking pre 6am, thankfully all the older ones are at school or nursery in the mornings so we get some nice relaxed dozing time! My back is beginning to kill me though with all the restricted sleeping positions and doing everything one handed while carrying the baby. He won't even tolerate other people holding him for long yet. I do love this bit though, tough as it is, and it passes very quickly in the grand scheme of things (though it doesn't feel like it just now smile)

adag Wed 04-Mar-20 10:26:14

Would also love to join. Dc2 for me, born on 11th. Still won't be put down so sleeps on me for most of the night which I'm totally paranoid about. Dh in spare room as back at work already... wondering if you can actually die from lack of is going well (I think) - couldn't get it to work with my first so a bit surprised it's been quite straightforward this time but looking forward to getting him weighed to check he is gaining... also need to start expressing but don't really get a gap between feeding long enough to do it 😬😬

anotherexhaustedpigeon Wed 04-Mar-20 16:05:14

@adag if you have a bit of letdown on the side you're not feeding from could you try using a hakaa hand pump? I use it for each feed at night, and usually manage to collect a couple of ounces each time.

adag Wed 04-Mar-20 16:07:21

@anotherexhaustedpigeon thanks, good idea... I usually have to feed him both sides each feed but worth a go!

anotherexhaustedpigeon Wed 04-Mar-20 16:30:40

Yea I do too, but it just helps stimulate more milk production!! I only use it for the first minute or so just to catch the initial let down

CupCupGoose Wed 04-Mar-20 16:37:35


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