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Start using Mumsnet PremiumStruggling to comfort my newborn
(12 Posts)Hello... I wonder if anybody can help reassure me (or not, as the case may be).
I have a newborn, I'm very happy and everything seems to be going well so far.
However, when she is upset/fussing, the only way I can seem to soothe her is with BFing (which I'm happy to do). I just worry that I can't just soothe her with rocking/my voice. She settles on her dad but is constantly rooting on me. Is it normal or am I just not good enough at soothing her?
She does settle on me after feeding but never without feeding.
I just want to be a good mum and be able to make her feel safe and calm.
I’m sure you’re doing a great job. My DD wouldn’t settle any other way than feeding until she was around 13 weeks - she then found her fingers and sucks them to settle herself. If she’s otherwise well I wouldn’t worry
That sounds completely normal to me! Don’t worry, even if it is a bit annoying. You could try offering a dummy first, but little babies feed very little and very often.
It's normal, OP. Just let her feed.
Absolutely normal 
as she gets older she’ll settle herself with her fingers but even at 3 months if mine is upset and I’m there she wants boob! Sometimes it might be wind though so perhaps burp first but I don’t think my DD knew herself if she was hungry or windy for the first few weeks. You’re doing great!
Totally normal. She can smell your milk which is why she will only settle with that on you - daddy doesn't smell as good! Bf is for so much more than just nutrition too so don't worry about it. It is exactly what she needs to feel safe and calm!
Thank you all, I just worry that I'm doing something wrong. I'm happy to feed her (constantly!!), I just wish I could settle her too without feeling its just my milk that soothes her, hopefully it is normal though and that feeling of wanting her mum (because I'm her mum, rather than her food source) will come with time.
I remember those days, DD wouldn't settle on me without feeding. It's hard when your hormones are all over the place. Try to see it as part of your bond with her and not as 'she only sees me as food/a dummy'.
Even when she was older and wanted me because I was mum feeding was still part of that.
Actually, even now at three and fully weaned over a year she still finds my breasts comforting, either as a pillow or just to sort of pat.
It’s not just a food source that is settling your baby. It’s skin to skin contact, being held, feeling safe and connected to you. Not forgetting all the health benefits, what you are doing is amazing for your baby. Don’t give yourself such a hard time, you’ve got this.
You are doing nothing wrong! Breastfeeding is more than milk for your baby, it's comfort and safety and in these early days it's really, really important for establishing your supply.
Breastfeeding is so much more than food for her, it's her everything at the moment and the place she feels most safe and content. Sounds like you're doing a brilliant job.
Thank you all, this has been hugely reassuring.
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