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Partner not interested in me or baby

(6 Posts)

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laura1306 Thu 29-Mar-18 23:20:44

He never was interested in the pregnancy or me when I was pregnant but since giving birth, a week ago, he's decided to go back into work straight away, not even accepting the week off he's been given, and any time off work he's been spending with friends and actually went out drinking tonight as well as planning to go out Saturday from 12:30 onwards drinking. Honestly he's not that drunk right now but his jaw is all over the place and he thinks he's at his dads house and just keeps going on about how much he hates me and wants to take our baby away from me. He has definitely taken drugs. I am a mother of two and a very capable one. My life revolves around my children and I am not just using that as an expression. I feel really unsafe with him in the house at the moment and I won't say a word to him because he is prone to snapping and I can't let that happen with two children in the house. I want him to stay downstairs so I can look after our newborn upstairs but I can't ask him because he'll go mad and I don't know where to put our son if he does or goes in to my two year olds room. He has been taking money frequently and this week when I have been staying with our son on children's ward in an incubator he only came up at 7pm despite being free and made a fuss about being there. I spent the night texting him about what he wanted me to buy him and I sent him my card details to keep him happy because he was 'sad' this is just after changing my PIN numbers and cards because he stole them. (I know that sending him my card details was stupid but I have hidden the money in another account now and will keep it minimal) he is really making me feel depressed and hate myself when a year ago I was in an amazing place with my self confidence! He's ruining me and my children. My two year old asks a lot of questions about where he goes and why he's angry and it breaks my heart when I tell him we're doing something nice like going to a cafe this Wednesday for lunch after pre school and came home to find he'd left to see his friends or last week before giving birth I wanted to take him to the cinema but MORE money was withdrawn from MY bank account by him so my mum has been amazing at providing nice times because my little boy gets very hooked on plans. I need help because I'm too scared to leave him in case he really tried to take our son or in case he gets nasty and the kids are around. I'm really at the end of it, sat downstairs right now with our newborn scared to go up and lie next to him but listening at the bottom of the stairs to make sure he doesn't go into my sons room.

OP’s posts: |
IlikemyTeahot Fri 30-Mar-18 00:10:00

Oh love thats no way to live. Have you got any brothers/uncle's/cousins that will come round and turf him out? I don't know what to suggest, but someone will be along with some advice soon. Do you have a carrycot could you all squeeze in your sons room?

RumbleMum Fri 30-Mar-18 12:03:53

I'm sorry - this sounds frightening and dreadful for you. This doesn't sound like a relationship that's at all healthy for your or your DC and IMO you need to get him out or leave.

Whose home is it? Can you (as Ilike suggested) get some male relatives or friends to come over so you can tell him to go? Or is there somewhere you can go - friends or family? I really feel for you - you must get yourself and your DC safe. Be prepared to call the police if you need to.

Toasttea Fri 06-Apr-18 20:37:47

This sounds like a nightmare for you. If you feel that way then you have to leave him and I know that may sound easy but in your case it doesn't sound like it will be because of him. You sound like a wonderful mum to your children. Have you got anyone who can you talk too?

ClaraMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 06-Apr-18 21:00:05

Hi there,

We're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

Very best wishes from all at MNHQ flowers'

ClaraMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 06-Apr-18 21:02:29

Also would you like us to move this to Relationships for you? It's busier there and you sound like you could do with some support right now. Just let us know and we'll do that for you.

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