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coping with toddler and newborn at same time - desperate!

(9 Posts)
time4tea Sat 24-Feb-07 10:54:26

Hello

I have my DS1 (nearly 3) and newborn DS2 (5 days old

all going well, DS1 delighted with small brother. but he gets very overenthusiastic jumping on us both if I breastfeed - messing up breastfeeding entirely, so I've started bf away from him and generally only being with him when I can focus attention mainly on him - although we do spend time together with baby and daddy once baby is asleep/fed/settled etc.

this was ok apart from cutting down on time spent together

now DS1 is starting to get really over-physical with me, cuddling roughly and jumping on me when I'm with him. with CS scar and big bf boobs this is *@@~~!!! painful. I've tried putting a cushion over my belly and boobs to make a big cuddle more possible but even this doesn't help entirely. I'm just in pain here and very stressed at the thought of having to stop DS1 coming near me, for the effect on him/jealously of the newbie/feeling rejected in an unsettled time. But equally I can't put up with sort of pain!

any suggestions on how to cope with this much appreciated

T4T

TooTicky Sat 24-Feb-07 10:58:07

Can you have lying down cuddles? Can your dh/dp take the brunt of his energy in rough and tumble type games? Explain to him how sore your tummy is!!

Mummy2TandF Sat 24-Feb-07 11:11:06

Hiya - I know how you feel My ds is 2.3 and my dd is 16 weeks!
I am afraid that ds is still a little rough with dd (he just doesn't realise how strong he is) and always trys to get on my lap when I am feeding dd - It is not so bad now of course becasue dd is a little bit more robust and she thinks it is really funny when he comes to jump on us
In the early days I made a box of "Special Toys" which were some of his normal toys that I put away and they only came out when I was feeding dd .... this did work as the toys weren't seen that often and so therefore held his attention for long enough for me to feed and change dd Sorry I wasn't much help

foxybrown Sat 24-Feb-07 11:13:28

Congrats! Can you get him to cuddle in too? Pad you and baby with cushions, give DS1 drink and biscuit and settle down with his fav book or tv with him? Its that one-armed feed/one arm to cuddle method to master! Or is he just too energetic? DS2 and DD were always left to cry just that little bit longer so I could sort DS1 out, but it worked.
Don't worry, its early days and I'm sure you'll make it work. I found it a bit scary going from one to two, and couldn't imagine how I'd cope, best lesson I learnt was not to be too hard on myself - but I did feel VERY guilty for DS1. Got over it! Now PG with 4th, so it does come good! Good luck xx

time4tea Sat 24-Feb-07 22:51:32

Foxy - mother of 4 - I salute you! thanks all 4 the tips... at 5 days I should give it time... luckily I have help every day planned from mum, dh and ds1 nursery until 6 weeks so will just keep concentrating on bf and give time 2 ds when bub is settled

Kif Sat 24-Feb-07 23:00:45

sounds crazy, but why not try a matress on the floor as a makeshift trampoline to burn off those jumpy urges?

Kif Sat 24-Feb-07 23:02:04

And persevere with bf.

Later on it's much easier if you can just go out w/o worrying about bottles

SittingBull Sat 24-Feb-07 23:07:49

Message withdrawn

auntymandy Sat 24-Feb-07 23:11:42

think you have to grin and bare it!!! Try to make sure he has everything he needs before you start to feed. Maybe get a book and read it to him whilst you are feeding.
ask him if he wants to hold the baby after a feed rather that jump and be too cuddly.

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