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Not liking being a mum(8 Posts)
Anyone else feel like this? I love my baby so much but i'm not liking being a mum. I feel so miserable all the time and end up crying a lot. Baby is 4 weeks, generally pretty good but having a few bad days lately fighting naps and being fussy despite being fed/changed/winded/cuddled. Any tips for getting past this? I'm well aware how lucky i am to have her and she was very wanted. I don't want to look back at this time and regret not enjoying it
I can sympathise. My dd is 4 months now but I still remember how difficult it was in the early stages. It's such a massive lifestyle change and suddenly there is a little one who is completely dependent on you. I felt the same. It is getting better now that we get smiles and she can communicate somewhat. Keep in there, your job is to look after this little lifeform! It'll get better 😊
The first couple of months are REALLY hard, and don't forget your hormones will be leading you a merry dance. I didn't enjoy being a mum until DH started smiling, which was around 4 weeks, I think. Just remember, everything is a phase. The bad stuff doesn't last forever, it does get easier and easier as you work out what to do and as you get more feedback from your DC. Don't panic, everyone feels like that at first. The good stuff is round the corner
It will get better, honestly! We're four months in now and it's great. At four weeks I was very overwhelmed.
Do you have a wrap sling? That worked on my nap fighting DD. Wish I'd discovered it earlier!
What's to enjoy really at that stage? The baby itself is pretty boring, generally only expresses dissatisfaction, needs lots of nappy changes, feeds a lot, sleeps badly. Your body is still not really your own, stretched in all sorts of hideous ways, hormones totally out of whack. People are descending on you and just want to talk about the baby, which is already all you think about 24/7. It's very, very tough for a lot of people (dare I say most?). They get more fun, you forget about your previous carefree life, you start to feel like an independent human being again - it gets better.
In the meantime enjoy:
- the fact they love sleeping on you
- the funny squeaks and creepy smiles in their sleep
- the drunkeness after milk (my youngest is only 3 months and this is long gone)
- the gorgeous milky smell, particularly their head and breath
- the fact that nappy changes, though frequent, are not yet proper poo
- their downy little heads, especially if they still have furry ears
- that squeezable cheeks, both bottom and face
- the teeny tiny little clothes
But mostly, just keep going!
I agree with the others....I found the first 6 weeks after my baby was born were the hardest few weeks in my life. I think you are partly in shock, partly shattered and hormones definitely don't help! Just hang in there, it will get better I promise. My baby is 7 months old now and I feel much more myself now and I really enjoy being a mum. Don't get me wrong- there are still times when it can be stressful or tiring but all the fun amazing times out-weigh the bad times now.
You could speak to your health visitor or doctor if you are feeling down though? They may offer some advice. Please don't feel like you are the only person who feels this way though, so many of us do!
Thanks everyone thats all good to hear. I have a baby carrier but its use from 8lb and she's not quite big enough but as soon as she is I'm getting it out
I love how teeny and Snuggly she is right now, hoping this fussy phase is a growth spurt or something as until Friday she was great, napped well and only cried when hungry/gassy, now cries most of her awake time
One of the biggest lies about parenthood is how "precious and magical" the first few weeks are.
They may be for a few but for everyone I know they were a painful led, sleep deprived slog.
Being a Mum is fantastic. But the few few months are very very hard.
It gets easier and much more fun very soon. And your body gets used to the sleep deprivation.
Get out for walks with the pram. The fresh air is good for you both and I used to find a few old people telling me how beautiful the babies were was enough to cheer up my day.
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