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Can I actually do this

(18 Posts)
Savannah13nbump Fri 19-Aug-16 20:07:21

I have a almost three year old and now a 10 day old baby, I can't sleep when baby sleeps I'm constantly checking on newborn, I'm exhausted and oh goes back to work in a few days, I'm dreading it I don't know how I'm going to cope on my own with both kids whilst sleep deprived, I'm crying all the time please give me some tips

NewlyNamedMe Fri 19-Aug-16 20:13:39

You will survive. I now have a 10 week old and a 2 year old. Stop constantly checking the newborn, if they are not crying and you need a rest then have it. Just do 1 thing a day that makes you feel productive, like keeping the kitchen tidy or hoovering the lounge. Something small and not using too much energy.

Enjoy the newborn as much as you can with snuggles on the sofa.

You will cope. All you need to do is make sure your kids are fed. Get your toddlers toys out and encourage them to play alone.

most playgroups are closed for the summer but when they start up consider going

Savannah13nbump Fri 19-Aug-16 20:19:41

Thank you so much for replying you actually just made me cry knowing someone listened, I'm just so worried about being sleep deprived and taking it out on my toddler, she has been so good with the baby so far and I just want her to stay happy! I obviously love my newborn however constantly thinking why did I do this

ParisGellar Fri 19-Aug-16 20:21:53

You sound like a lovely mum. Checking the little one constantly, worrying that the old one is happy. Someone who couldnt cope wouldn't do these things. You CAN do this. Congratulations on your new baby. flowers

ParisGellar Fri 19-Aug-16 20:22:20

I meant older not old!

NewlyNamedMe Fri 19-Aug-16 20:24:02

I think you need to give yourself a break.

How is the sleep deprivation affecting you? What sleep are you actually getting at night?

Is you OH doing any of the night time feeds? Can tou go to bed a bit earlier and let him feed the baby and get to bed.

NewlyNamedMe Fri 19-Aug-16 20:24:45

ParisGellar is totally correct. All they need is love and you are giving yourself a unnecessarily tough time.

Savannah13nbump Fri 19-Aug-16 20:28:42

Parishes lot thank you very much, doesn't feel like it I think all these mums do this everyday why do I feel I can't get through
Newly named me - I go up with toddler at 7 takes like an hour to get him off then I'm up at 12 so oh can get some sleep he needs to be up for work at 4 so we agreed to get four hours each, I think that's what's making me so upset is that I am being selfish about needing sleep

Bombaypie Fri 19-Aug-16 20:31:26

In the same position as you- for our sanity, I have had to sleep when the baby sleeps occasionally.

For example, the other day, we all got up and had breakfast. Fed baby and did some colouring with eldest. Then we all went back to bed when baby got sleepy, around 9am. Baby slept, toddler watched a Disney film on my laptop with a beaker of milk, and I dozed.

Also experimented with putting baby in a sling while I did toddler's bedtime routine, and that worked pretty well.

But, yep, feel your pain

NewlyNamedMe Fri 19-Aug-16 20:36:39

What do you mean you get up at 12? Why can't your dh put baby to bed when he comes up and then you do wake ups after 12?

I know the teoubles of getting a toddler to sleep.

It wont be like this forever. I am in the same boat and everyone feels the same. Don't worry about anyone else.

Savannah13nbump Fri 19-Aug-16 20:38:29

My friend is getting me a sling so just waiting for her to come round with it, I'm hoping he takes to it that way I can spend more time playing with toddler, i know I should be enjoying these days, but I'm counting down the days until he sleeps through allready

Savannah13nbump Fri 19-Aug-16 20:41:21

Newly named me, I know I'm so worried about sids that I feel I have to be available to watch him at all times, I'm not glad you feel the same but am in a way to know I'm not the only one, makes me feel so bad I'm feeling this way, I'm so sorry for rambling on!

mumoftwoboysgl Fri 19-Aug-16 20:43:42

If I am feeling very tired, I curl up in bed with the toddler when the baby is asleep. I let the toddler watch something on the iPad for half an hour and I snooze - not ideal but it's only for a limited time and a limited period.

greenfolder Fri 19-Aug-16 20:47:07

You will get into your stride. I promise. I decided to stick to a routine with dd1 which was 2.5 when dd2 came along. So I focused on going out and doing the usual stuff with dd1 and dd2 came along. She slept in the pram, car seat, in the park, at tumble tots etc etc etc. When dd1 when to playgroup I walked her there. Dd2 fell asleep in the pram on the way home and I sat and stared into space for an hour
Dh used to get up early for work so would give baby a bottle and put her back in her cot before going to work

Savannah13nbump Fri 19-Aug-16 21:10:26

I'm hoping to keep toddlers routine the same so it's as normal as it can be for her, I think I blocked out the sleepless night stage so it's now hit me like a ton of bricks. I know I need to stop worrying its just so hard

NewlyNamedMe Fri 19-Aug-16 22:58:18

You really need to work on your anxiety regarding sids. It's unsustainable for you to carry on like this.

Perhaps tonight or tomorrow night all of you go to bed together. Or you stay in bed when oh goes to bed.

NewlyNamedMe Fri 19-Aug-16 22:59:40

Just being in bed, even if not asleep will help you rest x

Savannah13nbump Sat 20-Aug-16 09:20:16

Well oh stayed up later with baby last night as toddler had a restless sleep, I got up at 5 fed the baby and actually drifted off for an hour, progress might be on its way! I'm also considering going to the doctors for the anxiety I know it's not physically possible for me to carry on like this

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