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September 2006 babies - smiles all round!(523 Posts)
Munkibaby...I went back to FT work when DD was 5 months, Due to DH's hours we only had to pay 3 full days for childcare at a local nursery (which is fab by the way). However now with two children, working FT just isn't viable anymore i.e fees & mortgage =full time wages. Until the issue of my reduced hours is worked out (or not!)We're going to be paying £950 a month just for the two of them to spend 3 full days a week. Ideally I want 3 days a week paying enough to cover their nursery fees..& if I'm lucky a little bit over. Like Clairemow, I couldn't be a SAHM FT as I'd go mad (big respect to those of you that do) so just getting me out 2/3 days a week will be great for all of us. I feel I'm reaching a stage where I'm "careered out"...the foreign travelling / business lunches / entertaining etc just doesn't mean as much as it did 7 years ago when I started my job. How the children have changed everything - earning a good salary when it's just the too of you is vastly different!!! I can't remember the last time we went out to eat / theatre / cinema / holiday etc....as in all done at the drop of a hat without thinking too much about the cost etc...
Cori, I'm with you on the entertaining, lunches etc. thing, they just seem irritating now and get in the way of getting home! I'm v. lucky with my job though, I work from home and go into London once a month for a day. The guys I work for have been fantastic, and I'm not sure I'd do it if they weren't so totally accommodating to me.
just to stick up for the SAHM, i gave up my career when I had ds, even though is was over half our income lost. i just felt i owed it to him and i can always return to it in a few years time, we are lucky enough to be able to get by on what dh earns, as cori says i too felt careered out, the foreign travel and long hours weren't conducive to being a mum, and sxomething had to give...... and i like to think me and my friends talk ab out other subjects than poo and sick...
Mabel, I feel rather emotional reading your post!
The other sight issue in this house is that throughout our 10 years together I have always been the bread winner...which doesn't help at moments like this! For the record, whilst I loved the independance it gave / gives me (which doens't seem so relevant now), I have wished many a time that DH earned more. I just hate the stress that attaches itself to me earning more than him.
cori that is tough...it's hard enough being a mum.
We originally planned that dh would give up work and be a sahd, but when it c ame to the crunch, i just didn't want to go back. i only earned slightly more than him, so with a bit of belt tightening we worked it out., Good job really...he'd have been useless, they'd have baked beans everyday and wear mismatched clothes...
well before we got prgnant, we always batted the idea of dh being the SAHparent. but i knew deep down that i'd never make as much as him, but i suspect that if i did, he'd spend more time doing the things he wants 2 do instead of housework.
at the moment, i cant imagine putting ds into care until he's over 1,6-ish..then again, ask me again when he's 9 months! ha! im grateful dh has a salary that can support us comfortably. [[[he jokes that he wants 7-8 kids]]] at least, i hope he's joking!
Sorry Mabel, I wasn't meaning to knock SAHMs; I think you're brilliant! I just wasn't cut out for it, wish I was... I think I noticed the poo and sick talk more because we moved when DS was tiny, and all my new friends were made through post natal group. Now we've known eachother a couple of years, we can veer away from poo and sick talk... but in the beginning that was all we had in common, LOL!
Evening all. I am the same as Mabel - gave up my career when ds1 was born, well actually I initially went back part time but it wasn't working out so gave up. i do a few hours at thr weekend just to earn a bit extra and have some space Ds goes to nursery one day a week and dd will as well - we don't have any family around to help out so it is a life saver for us and means we get some quality time on our own some times
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I did the same as you Pistachio with DS1 - left one career and did a post grad course to requalify into a different career altogether. I was only qualified 16 months before I went off on mat leave. It hasn't really affected my progress, as I had already decided I didn't want to become a big shot partner, doing stupid hours. Is yours an arena you can go back into later when you decide (if you decide!) you're ready?
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I'm a solicitor, and I'm always afraid that if I don't keep my hand in in a small way, the law will change and I won't know what I'm doing! Since I started the area I practice in has changed a lot, and I'd be completely out of my depth if I hadn't gone back to doing my 2 days as a support lawyer.
We seem to have wavered off the subject of the thread...!! Oh well!
We have gone off the thread rather but it is interesting to find out what we all do/did ! I worked in entertainments department on cruise ships for 10 years then worked as special needs support in primary schools. No intention of returning to either!
cruise, I saw your other thread. We always use Medised for DS1 when he has a cold as it has a sedative and helps with congestion. I did also give DS2 3 mls of it the other night when he was coughing like mad at 3 am. Worked a treat. You could give that a go.
Wow what a lot of activity ...
A close friend at a big oil company chose work over kids deliberately; told me "If you're going to do something, do it well" - she doesn't think she'd be able to do both, with the type of job she has. She's traveling all the time to places like Saudi. I have enjoyed having close friends without kids. It's a different take on life.
I don't mind being a SAHM at all. That said, the art is like a "real" job, with deadlines, responsibility to gallery owners and clients, etc. DH must do lion's share of parenting when I prepare for a show.
And, if you think about it ... DH is someone who works so someone else (me) can take care of his kids. I know that it's painful for him to just have 1 hour with DS1 every night. Knew several "house husbands" in Houston & they did a pretty good job - one's from Wimberly, actually - rule in my former playgroup seemed to be: whoever made the most, cared about it the most, and had the most job security stayed, man or woman ... In our case it was a perfectly clear split, but DH does tell me how hard it is for him to be away from DSs.
All this talk of work is making me think about it. I've got a meeting soon with my boss as I want to go back part time. I think its going to be 3 days a week and DS will go to nursery. I'm due back on March 5th which seems so soon and there is so much to think about before then like starting DS on formula. Which feed is best to drop first? I thought maybe the 11am one?? I would still like to do the early morning, evening and night ones as I should be able to continue these when I go back to work.
Redz - Congratulations! Hope that made up for him being away over Christmas!
DH didn't propose - he took me on a picnic by a babbling brook under the shade of an ash tree in that hot hot summer of 2002. He brought french bread, brie and bubbly and told me that he would marry me... ahhh! Then it took him until Christmas day to muster up the courage to ask my parents for my hand in marriage! bless!
Munki - I went back to work 2 days a week after DS and had an after childcare/working associated costs (travel, work clothes etc) wage of around £300 a month. This time I'll be going back for almost nothing as the extra childcare for DS2 is £234 a month. I've got to work out my contract which goes until the end of march but after that I'm not sure. Have just applied for a new job though so need to cost it out - for me it's also an issue of staying in the game though, most of you in Britain will know the jobs situation in the NHS what with all the recruitment funding being frozen so I need to take any opportunity I can. Doesn't mean I like the situation though - catch 22 really but I know long term I want a career so this is the price. I also hated being a SAHM with DS1 and was desperate to go back to work - this time, I'm loving it and dreading going back to work on monday
Claire - maybe Fraser prefers sleeping on a slant because he has a teeny bit of reflux and it irritates his tummy when he's sleeping? Who knows - but DS1 and DS2 have both preferred sleeping on a slope and thankfully we have a cot that tilts.
Marls - very pleased the gro-bag's a hit - sounds as though you keep your house about the same temp as us so don't worry!
Here we have achieved putting DS1 in his 'big bed' 3 nights in a row. Getting him to sleep there is OK but he's been getting up in the middle of the night and shouting for us - any of you veterans have any tips?
Also have started a diet - have to fit into a size 8 one of these by the end of march... [optimistic emoticon!] I reckon 10-12lbs should do it...
Hi LiquidClocks and congratulations
That dress is gorgeous by the way. Very [envious] that you were ever a size 8!!!
Dd is still sucking her fingers all day and have loads more dirty nappies than normal - she had one in the night so has woken up with nappy rash too, poor thing.
My new weaning plan is to try and get to 5 months I think, after a visit to inlaws as I don't want to be faffing with pureers when we're there. then it will just be a month of purees before bits f toast and whatever ds is eating. That's my current plan anyway!!!
Claire - I was only joking hense the , and I DO have friends who do nothing but moan about their kids/DH/amount of nappies / lack of sleep...i tend to try and avoid them most of the time...!
I really couldn't have worked and been a mum, part time was not an option and I had to travel to the far east several times a year for 2 weeks at a time, i just don't think that's fair on young children. However I am taking the oportunity to re-train and started doing something complately different (floristry), which means I can work from home.
Liquid - good luck with the diet, couldn't open the link though ...are you doing a particular diet or just cutting down?
We are going to a wedding, not til august, but I am worrying about what to wear already, it is a bit of a 'society' do. One of DH's mates struck the jackpot and is marrying 'very well', her family has houses in barbados, miami, new york.... I am going to feel decidedly common...and DS1 is a page boy...yikes!
Compo, DS is having loads more dirty nappies than usual as well and sucking his fist a lot. Its been going on for about a week now.
DS had his 2nd lot of injections on wednesday (he is 15 weeks but had to put off 2nd lot due to illness and being away so thats why they're so late). He's been quite grizzly and grumpy this morning and more tired than usual and feeding less. Are these common reactions?
sorry i didn't get round to starting the new thread after suggesting it
we are going well with weaning here, but lots of fists in mouth, red cheeks, grizzling and irritability - hope to see something for it soon!
have just caught onto the new thread so will add my bit in about work / sahm ing - we have decided that we will be ok on DH's salary (he is a lawyer so we are very lucky) and I am going to stay at home. Basically after jacob arriving 8 weeks early and the problems after delivery with pre-eclampsia, we may be taking to much of a health risk to have any more, so jacob may be our only child. We will start him into a nursery at around 15 months just for a few mornings a week to get him used to other children and sharing, social skills etc as we both think children need this especially if they are only children (I was and don't know if it's a good thing that i didn't have this!)
liquid - the dress is lovely and a size 8! I'll never see a size 8 ever ever again - so envious of you even being able to set that as a goal! Am at the gym 4 times a week now and the weight just isn't shifting much to my annoyance!
must go jacob has started gnawing the upright to his baby gym!!!!
and just adding to the long haul debate - pils live in NZ and we are flying out on feb 11th......... and also meeting them in thailand for summer holiday when jacob will be just under a year old!
could be interesting as the nz trip will be an annual thing from now on!
Lysettes, you'll have to give me tips about flying to NZ...
Liquid, lovely dress - are you being a bridesmaid, or is it a posh ball thing? Your DH sounds great, what a romantic way to propose!
Myrtle, F had his injections on Weds too, was really sleepy yesterday and today really grouchy, and didn't sleep well at all. So it could be the injections as they sound like they've had similar reactions.
Liquid, what are you doing when DS shouts for you in the middle of the night? Afraid I'm a bit of an advocate of the tough approach here, and I'd let him shout - he'll soon learn it isn't worth it... . when we moved DS1 into a bed in April, we did have to do some elements of (un)controlled crying... also his door handle is so high he can't open it - v. useful!!!