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All-new posifrikentivity grads

(131 Posts)
CorporeSarnie Fri 28-Nov-14 13:45:49

Hello to post-ttc-after-mc and/or pg-after-mc grads out there.
It has been weeks since I promised I would put a new grads thread up, but finally am in front of a pc (with a snoozing 4 week old DS on my lap), so here I am. Never quite felt up to joining the regular antenatal threads, so am a bit nervous about joining a postnatal one so late in the game.
Am hoping to hear more good news from the pregnant after MC thread very soon (am still lurking a bit there) - gwlondon being the most recent grad (well done you brave lady if you're reading this). Hope that alb and fedup are also doing well, as well as previous grads.
Am slowly settling into life with 2 DC here, is very tough trying to balance the needs of a toddler and a new baby but so so fantastic to see the pair of them together, even if DD does try to beat her baby brother up most days.

Alb1 Sun 30-Nov-14 10:14:18

Hello! Iv been popping on here for a while hoping this would appear smile I'm still lurking on the PG thread too, hopefully we can get a few people to join us here soon!

DS is 11 weeks today, can't believe it's going so fast! I saw a friends 4 week old a few days ago and actually got abit broody again as he was so small and newbornish! DS is very physically strong and alert so I feel like were well out of the newborn stage now. He's also very long so everyone comments on how they don't believe me about his age.

corpore I was the same about joining a postnatal group now, I tried to join the September one but just couldn't keep up.

Hopefully we will see more graduates here soon!

pgchimp Thu 04-Dec-14 19:19:48

hello ladies. nice to see some familiar names graduating! my DS is 5.5 months now and really trying to move! can't believe how quickly it has gone and how amazing and bloody hard it can be all at the same time.

Alb1 Fri 05-Dec-14 11:19:11

Hello pg nice to see another familiar face! It does go so quick doesn't it, everyone told me it would but I underestimated how quickly DS would change, it's amazing watching him discover everything and learn how to do things.

Hopefully more ladies will find us here soon! I feel like a little thread orphan at the min now that I don't belong on the pregnancy thread anymore smile

TwoLittleTerrors Sat 06-Dec-14 14:25:52

Hi everyone. My little one is 11 weeks and we are still getting the isn't she tiny comments. I think only when that stop I'll feel like I have moved beyond the newborn stage. DD2 is tracking under the 25th centile line so will be for a bit yet!

I feel the same about joining the postnatal threads. Btw didn't the older grads have a fb group? Is there any interest in starting one ourselves? If there are interests here, maybe we can message some of the other grads and see if they are interested?

Alb1 Sat 06-Dec-14 17:10:47

Wev been getting a lot of isn't he big comments (DS is 12 weeks tomorrow) as he's so long (90th centile) but he's dropped from the 75th centile on the weight chart at birth to just under 25th now so I feel like a bit of a fraud when people say that now. He throws up almost every feed and I can't figure out why so he's barly gaining weight now.

Yeah that sounds good if people are interested smile

TwoLittleTerrors Sat 06-Dec-14 17:17:48

The throwing up after every feed sounds worrying. Is he bothered by it? I am lucky that neither mine are vomitters. I don't even use muslins, which seems to be on everyone's baby list.

Alb1 Sat 06-Dec-14 17:43:57

Nope he carries on smiling while the milk poors back out! Even 2 hours after a feed it still comes back up not even looking curdled, looks like he's jus stored it n then it's poored back out, his last feed of the day he falls straight to sleep after and that's the only one he keeps down. But it's not in pain/colicky or showing any signs of illness. It's taken months to convince the health visitor that I'm not just a paranoid first time mum and that sitting him upright and still after all his feeds, winding him for ages, feeding him less food more often etc all makes no difference. So they finally want to start looking into other things and testing him for lactose intolerance, but with keeping 1 feed a day down and not seeming in pain I don't think it's that. We use a bib and 2 Muslins every feed confused

How are you finding having 2 children now? I'm still quite new to having one so I bet it must take some organisation! Is DD1 old enough to enjoy helping out a little?

TwoLittleTerrors Sat 06-Dec-14 18:24:57

I was thinking it could be reflux too but he doesn't seemed bothered so it doesnt sound like that. I assume the testing is with a pediatrician? An ex colleagues son was under one for multiple food intolerances and he was very happy with the care. Hopefully they can find out what it is. It must be so worrying for you seeing his dropping down the growth charts.

I'm finding 2 very exhausting! I'm not good at this mothering business. For example seeing fb posts from the other NCT mums made me feel so inadequate. They seems to have all these crafts, cooking, baking etc going on. Babies are easy as I could carry on doing my thing (ie reading my kindle etc). It's my 3yo that's hard! I used to take Her out a lot to zoos, parks or soft plays. That keeps her busy and happy. But there's no way I want to feed out in a zoo in this freezing cold! And the soft play is also out without my DH as she wants us to play with her. I feel so guilty we are watching too much tv.

One of my NCT group told me that her second has reflux. I couldn't imagine how hard that must be when you have a preschooler to entertain too!

I also have it easier with the larger age gap as we have the 15 hour preschool funding. With that and also two sets of childcare vouchers, DD1 is in nursery 3 days. I really shouldn't complain should I?

TwoLittleTerrors Sat 06-Dec-14 18:26:07

And yea DD1 is old enough to say baby is cute, mummy go fetch baby she's crying, and will alo help select a nappy when I change DD2. She's very sweet really.

pgchimp Sat 06-Dec-14 19:57:38

tlt I think being a mum seems to be a constant feeling of inadequacy! I also suspect the mums posting photos of crafts also put their 3 year olds in front of the TV, they just don't post photos of it!

my son has developed some sort if intolerance to formula milk, but the symptoms were the reverse, lots of pain and no burping or vomiting, but loads of poo, like up to 10 times a day, so he started dropping down the centimes. so we have switched to lactose free milk, which you can just get in boots. it seems to have done the trick as he is back to his happy self.

Alb1 Sat 06-Dec-14 21:30:41

Nope still waiting for the gp, as he has 1 feed a day he keeps down theyv been sayin he's just a sickly baby n gp sent me back to health visitor, it's only now his weight gain has basically stopped there wondering what's going on, he was 8lb12 when he was born and he's only 12lb1 now, considering hes so tall aswell it's not great (gp said he was the longest baby they'd ever measured) the chart is driving me a little mad, he's slightly ahead of were all the books say he should be, he's super alert, great sleeper, laughs and smiles at everything, growing length wise (fills his 3-6month clothes already) so if I couldn't see that chart I'd think he was doing amazing. The grandparents keep telling me he needs rusk or baby rice to fill him to help him gain weight but at just about 12 weeks it feels too soon, but then they don't believe in baby led feeding so they think he eats too often (4-5oz every 2.5-3hours) but I disagree. Sorry for the little rant there, don't have any RL friends with babies so can't talk about it anyone cos they all tell me to give him rusk, altho writing it down like that makes me realise that maybe I should listen, they must be saying it for a reason?

two I think most people watch more tv than they let on with the DC, I'm struggling to keep up with the house work with one baby and I never cook so it sounds like your doing well to me smile your older DD sounds lovely, it's nice she's old enough for them to already have a bond

pg did it make him any more ill switching milk initially? My health visitor told me I should change milks without the gps concent as it can make him more ill, but if he's intolerant to formula that doesn't make sense to me. Glad to hear your DS is happier now, must have been stressful seeing him in pain like that!

TwoLittleTerrors Sat 06-Dec-14 22:36:23

pg glad to hear your DS is all good now. alb hopefully they will find out what's wrong. I went to a work lunch a couple of weeks ago and a colleuge said one of his was a refluxy baby. Neither doctors nor HVs were any help. He and his wife took turns to hold baby every night. Then it all came right at 5mo. THeh do always get better.

alb don't listen to the older generation. Research over the years has led to more understanding of babies and the guidelines have chamged. If you look on the nhs web pages on weaning, it now recommends you wait till the baby can sit unaided and put food into his own mouth. I would rather trust the NHS recommendation than what our parents say. Also they don't acyually remember the details. My MIL just told me today DD2 will sit up soon as she's nearly 3mo!

pgchimp Sun 07-Dec-14 19:13:25

alb no it didn't make him worse. it was a gradual improvement over 14 days. in our case it was the HV who told me to do it!

I think the advice is not to wean that early unless on advice of a doctor because babies' digestive systems are not ready. if your lo is struggling with milk, it might make the tummy worse, so I would def wait for advice (and ignore mil, they should almost always be ignored in my experience!)

pgchimp Sun 07-Dec-14 19:15:53

also, remember that only you spend all day and night with your lo, anyone else is inky seeing snippets and stats. if you think he is happy and developing well, try not to worry too much as those are really good things! easier said than done I know.

CorporeSarnie Tue 09-Dec-14 02:42:18

Hello all.
Wrote epic post but accidentally hit a link and lost it, gah! Stupid phone.
Will be back, as am torn between thinking all is fine and dandy and that I have some PND symptoms, and could use a judgment-free place to talk (surely I should be grateful if not overjoyed to have my family complete at last?!) but on the whole DS is a joy, if a pukey one (DD was the same and grew out of it on weaning).
Hope you're all ok and enjoying your babies.

pgchimp Tue 09-Dec-14 19:12:56

corpore do feel free to come And talk here. I have felt very much the same - some days great and other days really not sure how I am going to cope and not sure if that is normal parenting/exhaustion or something else. hugs and thanks if you are having a bad day.

tannyLoo Tue 09-Dec-14 20:58:54

Is it weird to say hi to a thread I look forward to joining? Its just nice to see you here and to read how you're all doing. Cuppa had her ds a couple of days ago and she will no doubt pop in soon. Looks like my rose tinted view of having a baby and toddler is exactly that! Still can't wait! Hope to join you in about 12 weeks x

TwoLittleTerrors Wed 10-Dec-14 11:23:58

Hi tanny, it's not strange to look forward to the new baby at all (aka what's the grad thread is about). 12 weeks will fly by in no time, especially with Xmas keeping you busy.

CorporeSarnie Wed 10-Dec-14 22:13:37

Not strange at all, tanny, and we'll be thrilled to see you back here.
Talked to my HV yesterday about my feelings, principally that at the moment I am totally in love with DS, but feeling duller than I feel is acceptable towards DD (3). I think it is just not possible to feel that intensity for two babies at once, so it is normal, but uncomfortable to feel this way. Not sure if the MC is part of it. I have flashes of intense love for her, just like before, but spend so much time arguing with her about getting ready to go out and trying to stop her from climbing on DS, spoils things a bit. Not sure I'm explaining myself very well. Anyway, HV was sympathetic but equally pragmatic about it and said if I feel bad to see the GP, or call the HVs out. 6 week checkup on Friday so will see how I feel then.
Stupidly agreed to cover a work presentation today as one of my team had a funeral last minute and the presentation couldn't be cancelled. Was f*cking awful. Hate to think how it was seen by others, I felt like a lardy, sweaty, disorganised hormonal mess and was unhappy about being away from DS even for the hour it took me to leave him with DH, talk and get picked up again. There are good reasons for ML, aren't there! Will refuse any other 'requests' now until closer to Easter, partly for fear of utterly humiliating myself in public.
Right that is quite enough me me me talk. Should be sleeping as DS is fast asleep in his crib smile.

Alb1 Thu 11-Dec-14 01:17:26

corpore atleast now youv spoken to hv about it shel be aware and looking out for signs for pnd for you aswell, but what you say sounds totally logical, feeling so much intense love for a new born whilst being so tired and trying to take care of a demaning baby and a demanding toddler is bound to have an impact somewhere.

tanny not strange at all, nice to see you pop in smile

Those who said it I realise your right about ignoring parents about early weaning, I think it's just because they try n give proper advice that's based on personal experience and the hv goes off her books and just tells you to power on through, makes it harder to like her for me personally, altho my hv is very nice. We have clinic again tomorrow so hopefully hel have gained abit more this time as I had a whole day were he had minimum sick after each food so am hoping that's helped a little (sounds crazy I no)

I'm not sure if iv missed anythin else on here, wev been away from a few days so havnt been on here much, hope everyone is well smile

CorporeSarnie Fri 12-Dec-14 20:22:31

Well my 6 week checkup didn't quite go how I imagined it, this morning DD woke up with a natty dose of thrush, so had to take her along and add her on to our appt slot. Then the gp couldn't figure out who was who on the appointment list because the receptionist had made such a botched job in the software, and there was a student who I hadn't been told about in the room. Worse, it was a student I knew (I work with trainees). So an entirely chaotic experience, and not a 'safe' place to discuss concerns about pnd. Add to this the receptionist wandering in during the appointment, apologising but then staying to coo over DS and if I didn't like the practice I would be considering finding a new Dr. Will keep an eye on myself and raise it again if I am still worried in a few weeks.
alb, stick to your guns on weaning, having done it once before, the longer you wait the less effort it is (no purees, they eat bits of what you do, just leave bits of food in front of them), the main thing I hate about weaning is the mess. And the evidence that it is better in terms of food sensitivity etc is reasonable. Hope that your DS has gained weight.
DH has taken DD off to do the supermarket run as she had a late map this afternoon, bringing back pizza, which is great, but I am STARVING! Been feeding DS on the sofa for last 30mins and can't wait till they get back!
Hope all are doing well, I had a lurk on the pregnancy thread and it looks like liesal has had her baby too, hope she and baby are well, and hoping to see cuppa here soon.

Alb1 Sat 13-Dec-14 18:48:08

corpore that sounds terrible, defeats the point of having a check up at all when you can't discuss things in private! I hope there not always like that there confused

DS has gained weight, hes followed the weight gain line for the 25 th centile rather than dropping more lines, so if he carries on along that line hel be ok, still waiting to see the gp tho as he's still being sick. I hadn't realised those advantages of waiting to wean, i thought u had to start on the purée stuff and babyrice whenever you did it, so that's quite handy to no! I really should start reading up on it so I'm ready for when the time comes.

Had a scary moment earlier, was walking DS in the buggy down a hill and I slipped on ice, fell over and slid down the hill, barly managed to keep hold of the buggy (which obviously tipped backwards and slid with me) and managed to stop it going into the road with about an inch to spare, good job there were no cars going past! Was wearing normal shoes as was only popping I the shop but I will be wearing proper walking boots from now on I think! I'm just so glad I decided to take him in the buggy and not the sling confused

pgchimp Sat 13-Dec-14 19:31:57

blimey alb, that must have been scary. hope you didn't damage yourself.

corpore do you think it is worth booking another appt for yourself? would you be able to go on your own? I found it much easier to be frank about how I felt when ds wasn't there.

we are trialling my lo on nutramigen, the formula for cow s milk protein intolerance as he had a bit of a tummy relapse. thankfully he took both bottles as I gather it is pretty foul and some babies refuse to drink it!

Cuppachaplz Mon 15-Dec-14 00:36:54

Hi all,
Baby Percy was born 35+6, weighing 5lb 2oz
Despite all the doom and gloom pre-birth, he is doing really well :D
So happy to be joining you here on the antenatal thread; there were so many days over the last few weeks where I really thought that there would be no baby at the end, but Percy is not only here, but beyond anything we could have hoped for smile
Looking forward to sharing the journey with you all xx

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