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How do you know if you have postnatal?

(8 Posts)
Newmammy13 Fri 01-Aug-14 21:15:32

I think I'm postnatal. Sometimes I'm so snappy and so angry. I have very bad aniexty. But then sometimes I just want to be on my own, where lately I've contemplated on just running away. I just want all the pressure off. I just want peace. I feel like a terrible mother but sometimes I feel like I don't like my daughter. She's 8 months and the bigger she's growing the more I'm feeling it

mareish Fri 01-Aug-14 21:42:54

I didn't know I had PND, I felt totally neutral towards my son. Each time I was asked if I was ok by a doc or health visitor I would reply "I'm ok" in a resigned way but inside I was screaming "ask more questions, I'm really not ok, I'm struggling". My sleep was badly affected too I just couldn't switch off.

Newmammy13 Fri 01-Aug-14 21:45:57

What did you do?

specialmagiclady Fri 01-Aug-14 21:47:37

There's a test - a set of questions. Something to do with Edinburgh. I spent a lot of time when Ds1 was little looking at it. In the middle of the night I definitely had it, in he cold light of day I didn't think I did.

On reflection I think I might have had it and wished I'd talked it over with my GP. So I think if you're asking yourself the question, you probably need to mention it to someone.

mareish Fri 01-Aug-14 21:56:16

Sorry, that's not really a helpful reply. Please do speak to a doc as PND affects in different ways, as far as I know you can be vulnerable to PND for a couple of years after giving birth. I found that once I admitted I could have a problem I struggled with the thought of being on medication but after answering a set of q's from my lovely doc (ask for a different one if like me you find the usual one hard to open up to) I started to realise I needed help. I was still avoiding going on drugs though until I had a meltdown one night!

mareish Fri 01-Aug-14 22:04:17

By the way, YOU ARE A FANTASTIC MUM no matter what! PND does make you doubt yourself. In a few months time with a bit of medical help you'll LOVE being a mum.

milkjetmum Fri 01-Aug-14 22:14:00

The feeling of just wanting to run away I had too. I didn't feel that way everyday, but when I did it was very bad, with thoughts that everyone would be better without me. It started when DD1 was around 5 months.

Taking ADs really helped me, it is hard to take that step to ask for help, but it is worth it, life is too short to spend it feeling so unhappy. Talk to your GP/HV. I took ADs for about 6 months, and that got me through it.

frankiebuns Fri 29-Aug-14 16:01:57

With a past sufferer of post natal this is how i felt with ds and now with dd. I lived at home with my dh and my parents when ds was born nearly 4 years ago. And tbh i felt like a surrogate mum that i was waiting for the real parents to pick them up and thank me for everything then i could get back to normal life (work nights out rtc). I mourned my past life resented my ds for what he had dun i liked him but dint love him and this went on for months. I refused treatment and wanted to kick myself out of it. It took 5/6 months to do this and although my ds was to little to know i ruined dd is 11 days old and i have the same feelingz as last time my dh only had 5 days off work as he has a new job i feel insecure if he isnt home or with me im at my mums as i didnt feel i could cope on my own as i cant drive cos of c section and getting ds to school would mean 2 buses or a 2 mile walk! I still feel like im a surrogate and i reminiss about my past life if i hadnt of had her id be at work etc or my dh would take me to work as we are both on the late etc. I know to get help this time which i am today. Im scared the tablets wont work and ive screwed up and perhaps dh was right 1 was enough (he was an only child). Ive spoken to my mum and she has said she will help / look after dd if i cant / wont until im ready i feel i cant talk to hrr im brill with 3/4 year olds but not newborns. My mum is kid orientated and i think it was a 50/50 desicion to have another a) for a playmate for ds and b) another gc for my parentz i know i couldnt do this without them and if me and dh had moved miles away from them then i know deep down we would have stopped with 1. And my dd would never exist. I was told all the way through this pregnancy that the baby wouldnt make it or live beyond birth so me my family and dh steeled oursekves for no baby at thd end and knowing that was a real possibility made it harder to accept shes here led on me now as i type. We had researched everything legally with work if i had of lost her we had plans in place etc. And made it real in my head that i cant now think of having a girl in my life and no i need help i have wanted to scream at her but ds i felt neutral a mw said can i look at your daughter i laughed and said ghats not my daughter thats Tibby and i still feel like that now. My son is deff my son i proudly say it to anyone. But daughter thats got to grow on me. I can imagine myself with 2 kids a 6 year old and 3 year old or just my 4 year old. When i was in hospital i hated being seperated from my ds i howled after. I walked him to ghe door after seeing us in hospital one day he wantrd me to comd to nannyz with him and havd tea it hurt so much letting him go on without me this last 9 months i have truely learnt to love my son anx love being a mum to him and im grateful to his sister that i had that awesome summer with him one id never of had if i was working like i reminise about. But in my rose tinted hindsight /memorys it wasnt all good and if i hadng got pregnant with dd nond of thiz would have been possible me off sick for 5 months was great as me and ds bonded and gpt close he was a daddys boy. But post natal can manifest iyself as many things from scared sumone hurting baby to total resentment if you think you have it please see a dr anx accept what they advise im a stuborn old boot first timr round with family history of depression but now realise its stronger to admit it than suffer and make everyones lives hell. If i had my chance again with ds i would take anything i was given. I ruined mh memories for the first 5 months and be damned im not doin it again. Soz for tgd long post

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