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December 2011 - the one where we do the Twist and Shout
988 replies
ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 11/05/2014 22:27
OP posts:
hinkyhonk ·
12/05/2014 08:20
Slinking in to report for duty.
House being turned upside down with repairs so battling the dust and all the ridiculous amounts of admin that is needed to run our lives. Does everyone else have this much? It's insane at the moment. No time for fun at all 
mopsytop ·
12/05/2014 12:23
That sounds slightly more positive Faffin.
Bummer Oi. Fingers crossed for holiday pregnancy!
V bad headache. Wonder if is linked to hols over and back at work with lots of stress. Feels like it might be turning into a migraine
Figster ·
12/05/2014 17:51
Checking in from my plush hotel in central brum have work to do tonight can't decide whether to do it before or after dinner and wine.......better do it now,
Skunk pic to follow I feel like I'm potty training him hope he's a bit more interested than DS 
NorthernChinchilla ·
12/05/2014 20:15
Yay, can't wait for the skunk pic figster, and I bet DS is made up too.
Really glad a good night's sleep helped faffin, and that DD is feeling brighter too. Sounds like she's really soldiered on over the past few days.
Lots of holiday sex sounds good to me Oi, but just the holiday, warm weather and a drink sounds bloody fabulous! Where are you off to?
I also cannot believe that our thundering chubster toddlers babies are nearly 2.5, loads have one younger sibling and one or two will have two! Frankly hats off to you ladies who have the time, and the energy, and a soupcon of 
as I'm having to wait!
OiMissus ·
12/05/2014 23:11
Ugh, Mopsy, that sounds awful. Hugs.
Fig - the delightful aspects from your hotel window, brum - who knew such glamour existed!??!
Am gutted that I get to go to Copenhagen all the friggin time , and, as a diehard Eurovision fan, I didn't sort it out to get tickets etc. I blame the Boi. ...when he's older, I shall explain and make him pay.
We're off to Turkey. The same resort we went to last September. It was fabulous, and after Xmas I wanted to sort something. DH had just sold his house, it seemed rude not to!
Hilton Dalaman sarigerme, don't mind if I do!
OiMissus ·
13/05/2014 20:20
One reason to add to DS not being an only child : when my grandad was suffering with dementia, my retired uncle went round in the mornings to check he was up and had had breakfast, meals on wheels did lunch, my mum and my aunt (both working) took it in turns to do dinner, I called him every night at 9:30pm to tell him it was time to close the curtains and go to bed.
Imagine if all that responsibility laid on just one person. It's too much. But even relatively simple things like taking decisions about care, etc. are better shared.
A problem shared is a problem halved. Or something like that. 
NorthernChinchilla ·
13/05/2014 21:33
It's certainly tough Oi, all of the very, very significant care demands from my Mum's serious illnesses have fallen on me in the first instance, not to mention the emotional burden (tonight's phonecall ended- when I said I would only be able to call one out of the next two nights as we have to do the shopping, DP's on call, and I have to make him birthday stuff to take in- with her going 'oh no, but I'm so lonely, I'm so lonely, oh nooooo' in one of those joking-but-I-really-mean-it voices).
It's shit. I have to call every night, and when we go to visit I have to spend all my time there- I can generally wangle one session away, with guilt. And it's so hard, as she's cared for me so much, and is disabled, but I could really do without the emotional guilt trip being laid on me.
I call her up on it now. But still I'm torn between her being my friend, the guilt trips, the acknowledgement that she is disabled, and the knowledge that she owns her own house outright, has great friends, has great care, has a good income, has a caring family etc....
And breathe.
mopsy, so sorry to hear that the migraines started, I really, really hope it's a one off for you, as it sounds horrendous.
On a general level figster, I think a woman should absolutely be able to give birth how and where she wants, end of question. Looking at the info, recommendations and personal experience, I think it's better if women have first births in a hospital setting (whether a MLU, on a ward etc) and do the next birth(s) at home. Personally, and given I'm going to have another c-section when I have no.2, I'm a fan of hospitals!
Figster ·
13/05/2014 22:15
I'm sticking with hospitals .,.....me likey the drugs
Pizza and then limoncello trifle tonight feeling bleedin sick but was gooooood started the day with waffles and caramelised bananas .......fatty......just finished homework.
Hop I hadn't realised you were sad about dc2 I knew it was more dh than you who didn't want another but didn't appreciate u felt that sad about it hope the talk goes well tonight.
fixyourgardengate ·
13/05/2014 23:03
Yeah, I too had relatively straight forward births (in retrospect I could def have had DD at home). With DD I arrived at hospital at noon, had her just after 5 and was home before midnight.
Despite living less than 5 mins from the hospital in both cases (different hospitals in different parts of the country) I still think I will have no 3 in hospital. Not that no 3 has even been conceived yet
I a) agree with aethel too many things could go wrong and b) don't like the idea of strangers in my home (I would start cleaning the house at the first twinge in my usual onlycleanwhenthereissomeonevisiting panic) and c) urgh the mess! Who would clean it all up?
I also just can't understand how the NHS could provide enough midwives on call to cover x number of home births. If women are currently not getting 1:1 care on labour wards because of staff shortages how on earth can it be possible to coordinate that many community midwives?! Not my experience btw. I had a midwife in the room from admission to birth in both cases. And DS was born in a very busy city hospital, DD in a very busy hospital serving a considerably sized semi-rural area.
With DS the midwife led unit is literally just down the hall from the main labour ward so a bit of a no brainer imo (use the midwife led bit if you want, the emergency team are close). I was much less organised panicked about having DD and so never even had the maternity tour pre-birth. I don't even know if they have a midwife led bit here. But it is my understanding that some midwife led units are entirely self contained. That would worry me. With DS things did nearly go horribly wrong, DH was terrified. Luckily there was a consultant already in the room so things were dealt with reasonably quickly.
In an ideal world we should be able to choose where, how and who with (staff and family members) but realistically it just isn't possible is it? Someone is always going to have a totally shit and possibly life threatening experience. I've been lucky so now feel like I have no right to weigh in with an opinion although I am getting a bit bolchy and weighing in on fb when I see other Mum's slagging off an ENTIRE hospital because of one bad experience in one department
I've been thinking about this a bit today, can you tell?!
Chipandspuds ·
14/05/2014 06:16
On the home birth front I wasn't keen on the idea for DS as I'd only seen people giving birth on TV like in Eastenders cue panic and screaming etc and thought it might be too noisy for the neighbours!
In the actual event I was very quiet, no screaming and didn't have time/inclination to talk to anyone and the birth was straightforward and relatively quick. I would still prefer to have dc2 in hospital - well the midwife led unit in a birthing pool as I did with DS.
I like the idea of being one floor away from the doctors and anaesthetists just I'm case I should need an emergency c-section or any other type of emergency. I would choose a midwife to be in charge of the birth though in ideal circumstances. Mine was lovely, I wish that I could have her again she read my birth plan and she seemed to match what I needed, totally calm and peaceful and really stepped back!
Northern that sounds like hard work emotionally with your Mum. I'm glad that I share my Mum with my brother as if she is going through a bad patch we can both help out. We're both good at different things too, so if one of us can't cheer her up the other can usually!
Good luck with the talks Hop. Hopefully even if nothing gets decided at least you will feel better to get it all off your chest.
Very of your holiday Oi! Have fun for all of us :)
Hope that you're feeling okay today Mopsy. If I don't catch my headache in time I end up being sick with it too which is horrible as it feels like your head is about to explode on top of the banging when you can't breath properly as well. Do you find you feel a bit better after being sick? I find I do, it's almost like your other body parts stop working I'm anticipation of the migraine so that you can't digest food.
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mopsytop ·
14/05/2014 08:34
Chip, very headachy again today but not unbearable. Let's hope it stays like that as very busy at work. I think it is the pain that causes the vomiting. The pain just after I vomit though is excruciating. I guess it is the effort of vomiting. I also have really quite bad twinges in my left bum/lower back. Pelvic girdle. Seems more intense than last time. Hope doesn't get too bad. All in all not feeling too wonderful this week On plus side only two weeks until scan!
Oi enjoy lovely hols!
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