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Feb 2011. Now they are (nearly) 3 <gulp>

(824 Posts)
Reastie Tue 14-Jan-14 18:06:27

Just starting a new thread as noticed old on nearly full up.

flusteredmumto2 Tue 14-Jan-14 18:22:04

I'm continuing. They have said its safe but will just need close monitoring and a booked csec ( but I knew that would happen). All decisions in the last month have been up to everyone else. I have had no control over my own body its either been up to consultants or P. I have had no say. I am absolutely petrified. I have a little support but ultimately it is going to be just me 24/7. I haven't eaten as I'm always sick, I can't sleep or concentrate. He is becoming what he hated about my dcs dad and he can't see it. I know that he's scared but so am I. I was willing to give up everything and move 120 miles to start uni in Bristol with the kids so we could live together. I have not asked him for anything except to talk and he can't even give me that at the moment as he needs 'space'. My head is so confused.

Reastie Tue 14-Jan-14 18:28:42

Do you have supportive family and friends near you Flustered , you need someone to go with you to these medical appointments and speak up for you and ask questions etc. It's all overwhelming at the best of times yet alone when you're going through this with a currently useless P and all the emotions of pg and medical things to think about.

flusteredmumto2 Tue 14-Jan-14 20:30:21

Friends all have their own lives so no one I can truly rely on and my mum has her hands full with my pregnant sister who is due in march. Its something I have to go at on my own and try and do the best I can.

americanexpat Tue 14-Jan-14 21:18:36

flustered - xx You definitely need some real-life support, even if it's just a friend to talk to. I hope your partner just needs some time to get his head around everything, though I'm a bit hmm at you "supporting" what he wants by having a termination with no thought as to how it'll affect you.

ILovePonyo Wed 15-Jan-14 14:59:12

Hello all, marking my place. Thanks for new thread reastie thankssmile

Flustered wow, what a situation, really hope you're doing ok as can be. Can you speak to a friend or your mum, they do have their own lives but I'm sure they'd be able to help you out, it's hard asking for help because you don't want to feel like you're putting people out but I'm sure most people would do what they can. What a shame about your ex-p, I'm hoping for your sake he's just a bit in shock but really, he needs to sort himself out and 'man up' (I hate that phrase).

Hi to everyone else smile

wigglesrock Thu 16-Jan-14 11:12:57

flustered what a terrible time you're going through at the minute. I know it's hard but you need to concentrate on you & the kids at the minute. Keep yourself healthy, take some time, & then decide how you feel about your partner when you feel strong enough xxx

Reastie thanks for starting the new thread brew

Almost 3 year olds - bloody hell!

ILovePonyo Tue 21-Jan-14 16:33:40

Hello everyone, how are we all doing?

All is well here, except for the strange news that I think I may have had a mc at the weekend (continuing now) it was all v similar to when I had them before I had A, especially the pain (bad!) and I know I might have missed the odd pill here and there, oops. Am feeling ok about it, not sad, just have very bad stomach ache at the moment and am thankful my mum was here to entertain A whilst it happened as dp was at work and I was in agony in the bathroom for about half an hour on Sunday.

In other news, my mum babysat for us on sat night so I got to go out to watch dp's band play, it was so nice to be out together for a change! Had a lovely time and got a bit pissed smile

A is doing well, she has been getting out of her bed and coming into ours a lot recently which is knackering as she either takes up the whole bed or I spend ages putting her back in hers. Dp has a lot on a work recently so needs the sleep, so 2 nights ago she managed to spend the whole night in her bed and I rewarded her with a shitload of sweets grin unfortunately she didn't manage it last night <sigh> so back to the bribery tonight.

Thread has been quiet recently so hope everyone is well.

Blizy how goes it?

And ledkr?

Off to get A from nursery now where they told me yesterday she had been "a bit bossy" I think that's a nice way of saying she'd been really bloody bossy all day grin

americanexpat Thu 23-Jan-14 18:58:15

Ponyo - glad you're feeling ok about the poss m/c. L goes through phases where he's in with us a lot, tbh I usually let him stay because I can't be bothered to put him back to bed. We used it as an excuse to buy a king size bed. grin

L went to his first "class" birthday party at the weekend for a little girl at his nursery. The other parents told me he's a "greeter" at nursery, says hello to everyone. I was shock because he's quite shy around people. The party was wonderful, loads of cake and juice mixed with birthday presents they weren't allowed to open led to a lot few breakdowns.

blizy Fri 24-Jan-14 15:52:14

Flustered, what a shitty time you are having just now. I hope your partner bucks up his ideas. How are you?

Ponyo, I'm sorry to hear about the possible M/C, but glad you are ok about it. Love the pic of Anya in her princess dress.

Hi American, I have little ones who behave very differently with me than at home, they are strange little creatures!

All is fine with me, just ticking along as usual. Hope you are all well.

Reastie Fri 24-Jan-14 17:59:23

Hello all, tis v quiet isn't it. Hope everyone has found us and will come back.

Flustered how is everything? What's the situ now?

Ponyo sorry to hear about the mc shock and the pain involved, but glad you seem to be OK.

Blizy lovely hope you're well. How is Alfie? Keep forgetting to ask. Does he still get up to tricks or is he too big for that sort of thing now? <clueless>

Things fine here. Work manic busy no change there then and it's possible my hours will be going up again in September (I hope not!). Alice doing well, although has another blinking cold at the minute, it's one after another this winter. We're looking into her starting nursery after half term rather than after Easter as she seems ready to go. Her uniform is so cute!

blizy Fri 24-Jan-14 18:39:36

Hi reastie, Alfie is still super crazy, his fav thing just now is climbing on top of the fridge. He has also taken to sitting on my shoulder whilst I'm brushing my teeth!
Zoe would have started nursery on the 1st march, here they can start straight after 3rd birthday. Alice looked very cute and so grown up in her uniform.

Ledkr Sat 25-Jan-14 09:15:17

Hi everyone!
Sorry not been around have been busy getting better.
flustered I'm not sure what to say, what a nightmare.
Your p sounds as if he's a bit fair weathered ie. backs out when the going gets tough! What a dick.
I'm sure he will crawl back when everything is more settled as these guys invariably do.
I think what you most need now is rl support.
Why is your mum so heavily involved with your sister? Lots of heavily pg women don't have mums around and you need her ATM as well.
Why don't you tell her how you are feeling maybe she isn't aware.
Wish I could help more but it's truly an awful situation for you.
D is 3 on Monday. We are taking her to watch Ella in panto on Sunday then she's having a party at frankie and bennys on Monday as its her fav place in the world.
She is doing really well even without her hearing aids which still haven't been sorted out!
She is actually still asleep which is weird, I'm enjoying the peace sat in bed watching breaking bad on my I pad.

ILovePonyo Sat 25-Jan-14 22:14:14


Ledkr nice to hear from you,hope you are all recovered now. Can't believe D will be 3 soon! I am very jealous of her sleeping in, A ended up in our bed most of the night which meant I was perched on the corner angry I should have just put her back in her own bed but was too tired to get up haha.

Reastie A has to wear a uniform? Wow, very grown up!

Blizy I love the image of Alfie sitting on your shoulder whilst your brushing your teeth grin my cats have been quite needy recently which is annoying when I feel like relaxing and they climb on me and lick me confused but actually quite nice if they then snuggle up with me

Flustered I hope you're ok, have you heard from your ex p? Have you spoken to family for extra support? We're all here for you anyway, hope all is well.

A had a massive nap today so has only just gone to sleep, wish I'd napped when she did! She is funny, bossing all of her toys about today and telling me their not listening to her hmm

Off to bed soon. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend x x

flusteredmumto2 Sun 26-Jan-14 11:07:39

Hi all. Sorry for not updating. Well the last 3 weeks have been hard but DP has finally come around and is actually more excited than me! Don't ask me how it happened. I gave him space and time and one morning I got a huge bunch of flowers at college with a card saying to mummy. Thank you love daddy and peanut. Talk about a turn around. I think it was the initial shock and panic that sent him wonky. I wasn't ready to give up on us and if we can get through this we can get through anything. Though his choices of baby names leave a lot to be desired!
Hope everyone is ok.

Reastie Sun 26-Jan-14 11:24:32

wow flustered that's so great (although angry at how he was initially). Maybe he was just worried about your health all along and that was swaying him for you to have a termination? How many weeks are you now? What are you doing about your uni place etc?

Ledkr good to hear from you and happy Birthday D for Monday, can't believe she'll be 3 <sobs>

ponyo yes Alice has to wear a uniform to her nursery. It's the same as the primary school uniform only tiddly. It's very sweet, she has a lovely paddington bear looking duffle coat which I'm a bit envious of as part of it.

Blizy grin to alfie

Well, I lost 2 lbs in less than 12 hours with awful diarrhoea last night shock . Never had anything like it. Feel Ok today though (apart from wiped out) and thinking it was my dratted hormones as I stopped bfing DD last month and have been very hormonal in general since. Has anyone experienced any odd hormone things when they stopped bfing? <desperate>

flusteredmumto2 Sun 26-Jan-14 11:45:08

I think this is something that I have to move on from and forget about everything that was said. If I'm honest I'm glad he was so honest with me as he could have just hidden it all and then split but we both agree we could've handled it better. Uni is still happening but I'm having to decide between Birmingham and Bristol. Both of which are amazing universities but before all this Bristol was my first choice. He's home next weekend so we'll be telling his parents and talking more. Theres just so much to decide and at the moment procrastination is my best friend.

Can't believe D is 3 tomorrow. Wow.
What are peoples ideas for presents? I've asked other people to get F dress up stuff and I'm getting her a bike, some jigsaws and a keyboard.

Reastie Sun 26-Jan-14 12:12:23

We're getting Alice a hello kitty bike and some other little bits and pieces like books. DM is going to get her a scooter I think. Also thinking of getting her a remote control toy of some very basic description. Dress up stuff is a great idea, Alice got some for Christmas and loves it. Anyone doing dreaded parties? Think we can get away with it for another year! Will do a family gathering of some description with a birthday tea and then the day before her birthday will try and have a little trip out maybe to a farm park or some such with the 'Monday gang' of Mums and children we see.

americanexpat Mon 27-Jan-14 15:27:34

ledkr - happy birthday to D!

flustered - I'm happy your partner (is he DP again?) has come around finally, hopefully he sticks with you when it gets tough again (it always does).

reastie - I don't know about the hormonal aspect but I've had a couple bouts of D&V that have lasted 8-12 hours but left me feeling wiped out for 5ish days after. Maybe you had a bug? How's A doing with not bfing? I think you used to bf her to sleep? How are you feeling (besides the hormonal things)?

I'm not sure what we're getting L for his birthday. I have a Curious George hoodie tucked away (bought in the sales), maybe some more trains and tracks for his train set. We're only having a family party this year, mostly because the house is a work zone at the moment. We're replacing the carpet in the sitting room with laminate and turning it in to a dining room. We removed the carpet and some tile at the weekend, only to find that the subfloor is uneven, so we're still considering how to address that.

flusteredmumto2 Mon 27-Jan-14 16:55:49

He was P just not very D at the time. We've both said we could've handled it all better. He has his MRI this afternoon as his echocardiogram did show his aneurysm had grown so they need to know by how much exactly. Now he's come to terms with it there will be no getting rid of him even if I wanted too. We're telling his folks this weekend and I'll be 12 weeks.

Happy birthday D.

ILovePonyo Mon 27-Jan-14 20:47:59

Happy birthday dilly!!! x x x

Flustered hope everything works out, you need to see each other properly don't you to talk it over, hope you're ok. Was your partner having an MRI scan today??

Hi reastie, I love the sound of A's duffle coat smile how cute. Hope you're better now.

American your house sounds stressful, I am so rubbish at anything practical and so is dp, hope you get it sorted.

Birthday wise A is having a party at soft play, but only bcos we went to a lot of parties in a short space of time before Xmas so now she really wants one like the ones we went to... If that makes sense! Bloody nightmare though knowing how many kids to invite, what if hardly any show up, etc etc. We'll also have a little 'do' at the house later as family are coming, A will probably be tired and emotional by then so it'll be a nightmare grin
we've got her a rapunzel dress, rapunzel doll (reduced in supermarket!) and some tat bits and bobs. Plus those disney on ice tickets that are in march (I think). She has so much stuff she doesn't need much.

Off to bed soon, hope everyone else is well and D has had a lovely day ledkr.

Ledkr Mon 27-Jan-14 21:52:58

Hi all, thanks for birthday wishes.
She had a lovely day thanks. We also opted for a bike and just done little bits and bobs.
She loves birthdays so was tres excited, had little party at frankie and bennys with a few mates and family.
Ages also had a plethora of soft play parties so I thought I'd save myself the bother and cost grin
She was funny opening presents and said "Lilahs present" with each one as Ella's was only 6 days earlier.
Ella's last night of panto last night and she arranged for dilly to be called on stage to have happy birthday sung to her, she was chuffed.

flusteredmumto2 Mon 27-Jan-14 23:50:33

Yes ponyo the MRI was today but we have to wait 4-6 weeks for the results. He got really worried at one point about the amount of ct scans he has had and what that might mean for the baby. It was quite sweet really. I had to really reassure him that that radiation wouldn't cause defects. I can't wait to see him on Friday, I know we have a lot of talking to do but I just need a hug to know we're going to be ok.

Freyas having a birthday tea with mine and dps family not a big thing but she's adamant she wants a princess castle cake and balloons so she's pretty easy to please.

ILovePonyo Tue 28-Jan-14 09:01:04

Aw ledkr that was so sweet of Ella, d sounds like she'd like the stage grinwink

Flustered what does your dp need MRI scan for? Sorry if I've missed something, hope he's ok?

I bought A a rapunzel magazine with a free 'ballet' stick with a ribbon on, she has gone to nursery wearing her tutu and spinning her ribbon stick about hmm I think I might look into ballet lessons when she's 3 but hope that doesn't make me seem pushy?! She'd prob want to do her own 'style' of ballet anyway and not like it grin

Ledkr Tue 28-Jan-14 09:21:43

Pushy? Moi?

Dilly has been at ballet since she was 2.3 and did her first show on stage at Xmas grin she is very keen and wears her ballet gear most of the day.
It goes without saying in our house. Lol.

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