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June 2013 Bebes (1)

(1000 Posts)
Olimoss Mon 01-Jul-13 19:03:42

Including our friends from late May & early July!

Thought time for a postnatal thread.

So. I'm craving a nightly glass of wine already, week
5 of motherhood. Anyone else?!

SunnyL Tue 02-Jul-13 08:05:44

To be fair MrsBri i dont think i'd have needed the vodka shots to call my FIL that if he'd tried to tell my DH not to marry me! You're a bigger person than me to let them back in without an apology.

MrsBri Tue 02-Jul-13 08:22:24

Thank you for reassuring me that I'm not in the wrong here.

I'm trying to be the better person, but I actually really don't want to be. They're only interested in the baby so have to be nice to me so I don't tell them where to go.

I already told DH last night that they're lucky to have access at all.

I'm so pissed off with it all right now. :-/

forgetmenots Tue 02-Jul-13 08:27:03

I have no contact at all with my ILs MrsBri (and sadly for him now neither does DH). Long story that I've put an abbreviated version of on too many threads! But can lend an ear if you need to talk about this. They sound vile.

MrsBri Tue 02-Jul-13 08:54:10

I'd love to achieve that one, forget! Shame DH won't consider moving to where I'm from. I'd love to escape here.

Hawkmoth Tue 02-Jul-13 09:26:22

I'm too ill to have visitors :D

It's the only upside.

ella0 Tue 02-Jul-13 09:34:34

I hope those who aren't feeling great feel better soon.

Sorry to hear what you're going through MrsBri. I'm not confident breastfeeding in front of most people yet (apart from medical professionals!) so I've been going upstairs too.

I don't drink, but I gave up caffeine (apart from that in chocolate!) while pregnant so I'm more excited about being able to have a cup of coffee.

I only had the injections for 5 days post section (I had them on my stomach). I had the midwife come out every day to do them as I didn't like the thought of my DH administering them (he's taken a plaster off me before, and it hurt!). My usual midwife couldn't make it one day and when her replacement did it it really stung afterwards so technique does matter!

I'm glad your pre-op went ok, AmI. Although I wasn't allowed to eat after midnight, I was allowed to drink water up until 6am (I had to go in at the same time). I drink a lot of water too so was worried about it, but I was ok on the day. I was supposed to have my bloods retaken on the day as my platelets were low (which was a risk for the spinal block) but they forgot to do it first thing which delayed my procedure. They put me on a drip to prevent me getting dehydrated while they waited for the results and I felt fine. I can't remember what I ate (possibly a massive pizza!) but I know that I ate up until the last minute! Hope it goes well. Probably not much use now as I'm guessing your section is today (though my pre-op was 3 days before!).

Sarah2506 Tue 02-Jul-13 09:39:11

I'm sorry you feel so rough mrs bri. I don't have quite the same problems with the in laws but I do find them very intrusive and overbearing. DH has five sisters. All wanted to visit immediately, I said no. I didn't want any visitors. Not even his parents. However. The annoying thing for both you and me is that the in laws do exist and one way or another we have to live with them forever. I found that a token emailed photo or five and sucking up a parental visit for an hour bought me peace and quiet thereafter. I played the martyr, because that's what I do, but it wasn't actually that bad. I think that if you can arrange a visit on your terms it's much better than having it forced on you. Then you can enjoy being all passively aggressive and polite so they can't fault you whilst scoring points in your head.

Isolation is tough. Have you had the health visitor round yet? She turned me onto children's centres which have a huge amount of good local stuff. I know you didn't do nct but maybe you could do a postnatal course? They don't cost as much and everyone does it purely to meet people. Also our nct area has a free baby and bump group on a Thursday open to all. Maybe check that out? Lastly I have found that new mums go to cafes on their own and start conversations with others in the same boat. It's a veritable pick up joint, our local Starbucks. Once you are on your feet you will do this too. It won't be long till you have your legs back. Until then chin up:-)

AmIGoingMad Tue 02-Jul-13 10:05:36

I typed a huge post earlier and then lost it all- grrr!

Mrsbri they sound delightful!shock
So sorry you're having to deal with this at a time when you should be able to concentrate on yourself and Amy. If you do go ahead with them seeing her soon maybe try a different strategy. You could go to theirs or meet for a coffee on neutral ground. Bear with me! I know it seems like you're making all the effort at first glance. But- it actually puts you more in control of the length of the visit. You can leave after the agreed hour or so. It's much more difficult in your home to get people to leave. Most friends will understand the yawns and act on them. Your in laws don't sound like the type to take this sledgehammer hint.

I agree with Sarah too about feeling less isolated soon thanks to baby groups etc.

And come here and unload any time at all- we're all very good listeners!

Ella- thanks for that! Elcs tomrw. Am going to load up on carbs today I think and might even set an alarm for 11.30 pm so that I can drink a pint of water before the midnight deadline! Does that sound daft? I'm just hoping she stays put til tomrw now. I've had one or two twinges this morning but nothing too bad so far. Hopefully it's nothing.

Sarah2506 Tue 02-Jul-13 10:20:27

AmI I'd say you are totally fine drinking until a couple of hours before- you need to to take the morning antacid! On the eating front I did think about downing a pizza but then I thought that, in the absence of breakfast to move things along, I would then be having surgery with a massive amount of food in my system. And that might not be fun at the first post section poo. Just saying:-)

forgetmenots Tue 02-Jul-13 10:31:42

Exciting amI smile make sure you have a relaxing day!

Olimoss Tue 02-Jul-13 10:35:20

MrsBri - totally second previous advice about getting in with some local mothers or groups. Our NCT meets every week and, Althing past-life Olimoss wouldn't believe it to hear me say, it's a godsend.

AmI - eat fibre! Eat fibre! Good call on the pint before midnight though. I was allowed to start sipping water bout 3hrs post section and it took all my self control (I do not have very much to begin with) to scarf the whole lot. And if your partner can have nice cool fruit, ready chopped (pineapple
particularly good and refreshing) to munch on, then I also recommend that.

My mum had Joe in her room last night to give me and the boyfriend a good nit's sleep after a couple of dire ones when J was suffering a bit of constipation. I felt AWFUL bout not looking after him during night but clearly not that awful cause I totally took Mum up on her offer! I got a pretty good night's sleep considering i still woke all the time looking for j!

Despite all my concerns re: having her stay so long it's been great. Am going to really miss her. I don't have any family of my own over here in UK so will miss that support (and in-call babysitting!). Am lucky in that boyfriend's parents are actually very cool and incredibly generous, but flip side of that is they ate really no good for babysitting till J is much older. But then they will be older too...hmmmm.

I think I've reached peak boobjuice production as levels have stayed pretty consisten for last couple weeks. That's fine,except J's capacity for milk way outstrips my supply so we are increasingly moving from 50:50 combo fed to 25:75. I feel bad bout it but not much I can do, really. He's only 5 weeks old and although I expressed colostrum and gave it to him, obv with his fistula it was going in, round and out again, and never got near his stomach as there was no pipe to take it there! So he never got colostrum and I know there are immunities and antibodies in breastmilk so had hoped to express for three months. Not sure it's going to be possible now, don't want a sickly baby, specially after his touhg start!

Also now considering need to watch what I eat. Boo. Got to get in swimmers next Tues for baby swim....horrors....

Olimoss Tue 02-Jul-13 10:36:53


Right, I'm offering blanket apologies for this and any future posts full of errors. I'm such a spelling pedant as well. It grates.

MrsBri Tue 02-Jul-13 10:58:37

You're all so lovely :-) It makes me cry every time I read your supportive posts!

I do plan to get involved in baby groups soon, once we've mastered leaving the house, that is. It'll come soon enough.

And the inlaws have seen Amy, they're just desperate to come again and I can't be doing with it.

And his mum texts every day to tell me they're there. I bloody know you are love! You're suffocating me.

Hopefully it'll even out soon and I'll get into a routine which they can fit into :-)

AmI, dried apricots are the way forwards. My first poo was just fine thanks to these.

ella0 Tue 02-Jul-13 11:06:08

It doesn't sound daft AmI, but I'd check about the water as although I couldn't drink anything else after midnight, I was allowed water until 6am (as Sarah says, you need it to take the tablet in the morning!). I didn't have any problems going to the loo afterwards, but then I didn't have any problems during my pregnancy either.

I had a three course meal and drinks within an hour of coming out of my section (as that's when the food happened to come around, I was hungry and they said I could give it a go) and I was fine! A friend who had a section was also fine with food straight afterwards, but my sister was sick just after having some water, so I'd take it slowly!

I'm similar in feeling alone. Neither of us have any family anywhere near (I've always missed them my family as we're close, but now I really miss them sad ), and few close friends. The health visitor has advised me to go to mum and baby groups but I don't feel ready to yet (I'm still nervous about taking the baby out of the house by myself, plus I'm quite shy).

Don't feel bad, Oli, you need to look after yourself too.

ella0 Tue 02-Jul-13 11:10:58

I apologise for my feeling alone paragraph as it doesn't make much sense - I'm tired!

AmIGoingMad Tue 02-Jul-13 11:18:09

I did double check on the water thing and she confirmed nothing after midnight. I have to take one of the tablets before bed and then take the other to the hospital with me to take just before the op- probably so that they can stop me using it as an excuse to guzzle water!

I agree that getting out and about to baby groups is difficult at first. Especially as you're aiming for a specific place and time so its harder than going out for a walk etc. the first time I managed it with DS it turned out that the group was off that week! And it's not easy when you're shy. Getting there early so that people come to sit with you rather than you having to join fixed groups can help. And I always make an effort to talk to someone who looks new and I'm sure others do the same. It's also easy to find a topic in common- your little ones! So just asking someone the age and name of their little one can get the ball rolling.

SunnyL Tue 02-Jul-13 12:44:47

Rant coming. I've clearly pushed my pram through dog shit and have tracked it through the house when I came home. I'm now stuck sat on the sofa feeding bubs looking (and smelling) at ruddy dog shit. What really pees me off is I have a dog and know how flipping cheap and easy it is to clean up after your dog. Now I'm going to have to mop the FRICKING floor. It's not like I've got nothing else to do today.

Aaaand breathe.

Steffanoid Tue 02-Jul-13 13:32:06

on the in law front maybe you could text back saying thanks I'll be sure to let you know when I need you then they can sit and wait for you to text?

MrsBri Tue 02-Jul-13 13:44:00

I've tried that, Steff, but she keeps banging on about coming round to help. :-(

Sunny, dog poo is a huge issue round here. Some weirdos even put it in a bag and then abandon the bag on the floor / tie it to a tree / bush. WTF is that about?! I hate it.

pinkbear82 Tue 02-Jul-13 14:29:14

how frustrating sunny!

violet and I are having a bed day today - just chilling out together and catching up on some sleep.

ami hope the twinges have settled down.

Steffanoid Tue 02-Jul-13 15:32:34

thats a bit rubbish ami, in some ways I think im lucky when it comes to people, because of the depression people tend to leave me alone or just message once and then leave me to it.

just think if your twinges turn into labour that will bump you up in terms of importance to get your c section!

we've just had the health visitor round, im so so happy, Ethan is back to birth weight!!

forgetmenots Tue 02-Jul-13 16:05:37

BRILLIANT news Steff smile just shows what you're doing is working, how great!

That's great advice AmI about baby groups. Thinking of joining my first one next week and felt a bit unsure!

MrsBri Tue 02-Jul-13 16:29:17

That's great news, Steff :-) I think I've got the message across today though, basically saying I don't need them round as I'm fine! Was maybe a touch rude, but I'll blame the hormones! :-)

Just had the midwife round and Amy has put on 2oz since Saturday, which is great. Really encouraging that the breast feeding is working.

And she said that my scar should be nigh on invisible once totally healed as it is doing really well.

And Amy weed on her. Funny!

Sarah2506 Tue 02-Jul-13 18:12:10

Back from hospital after midwife referred us because of suspected jaundice. Doctor took one look and said 'well clearly this child is not jaundiced' which was what I had thought. So that was a waste of time but for the fact she was weighed and has put on 12 oz in 8 days. I'm so impressed! Weight gain really makes the continual nipple pain, hassle, sleep deprivation etc worthwhile, doesn't it?

Good luck everyone braving local baby groups. It is a bit scary. I am extremely bolshy under normal circumstances but found it quite scary. Not sure why. But the reality is everyone loves a new baby so they will be all over you immediately with offers of making tea if they can have a cuddle!

AmIGoingMad Tue 02-Jul-13 18:31:10

Well done on the baby weight gains everyone!

That's a pain about the hospital trip Sarah. Better that she picked something up that wasn't there rather than the other way around I suppose tho.

Well done mrsbri on the in law front!

The twinges have calmed down quite a bit thankfully! I have everything crossed ( apart from my legs which quite frankly are impossible to cross) that it stays that way!

Getting really nervous now too. I'm a bag of emotions at the moment. Nervous about the op, excited about meeting her, guilty for how much DS s world is about to change, desperately hoping that nothing starts before the op tomrw. Aaargh!!!!

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