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FEB 2010 Three is a magic number, yes it is......(999 Posts)
Come and take shelter from the DC here, folks!
<offers tiffin, millionaire shortbread and other forbidden goodies>
Well spotted SB!
Here it is
PS Good luck for the 2WW...
PPS Probably just as well this time, rainbow... x
Thanks for the reassurance CP, SR, Mous, Scones! Today DD was on the step after poking DS in the face (for no reason whatsoever) and then forfeited her "Nursery Day Car Treat" for shoving him with her foot (again, he wasn't doing anything to her). I felt more in control about it today, despite being angry with her.
Still, we had a pleasant morning, DD and me. We had fun doing homemade ice-lollies using an ice tray, cake pop sticks, fromage frais and bits of banana and apple juice and blueberries. Then we sat on the rug outside and enjoyed a bit of 1-to-1 over coffee (me) and quinoa muffins (both of us).
Sounds like your DH needs a refresher course, JF!
Great news about getting the job xx
DD2 has won the bag race because she was really concentrating on this very arduous task, otherwise she kept looking back to make sure her friends were not left behind and were level with her she can run much much faster than this: at least she is not over-competitive like DD1... DH is on the war path to get some competition into her now, he is afraid she will turn like me .
They are back from town and the children want lunch. Glad they are old enough to say what they need. Dh once famously forgot to give dd1 lunch when she was about 7 months old and wondered why she seemed unusually reluctant to have her lunchtime nap. He only noticed when he had some lunch at 1.30 and felt pretty sheepish when I got home
I've lost my family again! Rushed back for 12 to allow dh to go to work this afternoon and there is no one here! Bit annoyed. If he'd told me he has no intention of going in to work I could have done some shopping on the way home. Communication has never been our strong point but I may have to do some re-training eg to remind him to at least leave a note so I know where he's gone.
Meant to say its often Me that isn't home with the kids when DH returns
Good Luck JF!
Rainbow, good luck too, I hope you don't get it too bad. Adult CP is not necessarily that bad DB had almost nothing and was finished in less than a week. I don't think you can escape it if you are caring for someone with CP and didn't have it yourself. It is very contagious. Hoping that you already have immunity though. Some parents miss it, i.e. very little spots hidden in the scalp and child not really bothered by it.
We are almost out of the terrible tantrum phase, hang on. With DD1 there was a switch in the summer of her 3rd year. She magically became more reasonable like a proper little girl sometime before august (she was born 10 days before DD2 on the calendar so same baseline).
scone "If you don't want to hear the truth don't ask the question" Is my secret motto. I cringe when a pregnant friend ask about birth (mine with DD1 was horrendous, hospital said traumatic to me afterwards).
even worse don't ask me if I like your new dress or haircut, I can't lie
CP, IC, I too rough with the girls too Remove and step away is a good tactic. I very ashamed of the way I did it with DD1 as a toddler I was so much stricter than with DD2 . But then DD1 still don't stop when asked she has to be forcibly removed
and often she will go back to finish DD2's godfather keep saying to DD1 that one day we will fail to stop her getting under a car. DD2 is completely different she actually stops not without protest
DD2 sport day is today
And on pox watch now. Anytime fromWed next week to 2 weeks after that.
Good luck with the interview later today JF.
scones will pass message on to DH re laundry expectations. We have an almost permanent clothes mountain waiting for me to fold, on our armchair, for when I watch tv. (Very rare as recently i'vetaken to falling asleep at 9pm with DD and waking up at 5am.) On the plus side he does cook and wash up every day.
Ditto on the admiration re small age gap. But you will hopefully have it easier as they grow up!
ic DD does this for a particular toy to a particular friend when he comes over. Simply because he loves that construction toy. She never plays with it otherwise. But they play very well together on other toys, so his mum and i have to guide them towards the toys they play together well on!
DD screams and cries refusing to bathe every day, then calms down instantly once she comes out! Says it's painful in the bath. But then I did tell her it was ok since she has cp so maybe she's decided to let rip.
Very relieved but a tiny bit disappointed that af has turned up yesterday. Called the doctor yesterday morning, apparently if you contract cp in first trimester they will give you an immunoglobulin drip in hospital to reduce symptoms of cp - because there's a risk of miscarriage or complications in baby's development.
Cheering you on sb
Meant to say to IC that I think being forceful with your no 1 is oar for the course. The natural instinct is to protect the younger DCs, please don't be hard on yourself. And your dd will come out the other side of this behaviour, she really will
Interview JF? Pray tell more...
I do admire those of you with a small age gap, and Scones I admire your honesty in saying exactly how you feel. I do the same about childbirth
Hope those TTC get lucky.
Argh, 28 degrees in our bedroom, jittery after too much coffee today, the third 6am start in a row tomorrow, and a job interview first thing. Must get some sleep...
Oh yes we did CP! An acquaintance at a toddler group has just had her 2nd with a 2 year gap. Baby is only 4 weeks old and I had a little cuddle Strangely I am not in the least broody after feeling quite hormonal for the last 20 months. Acquaintance said "It's full on, isn't it?" and I couldn't help but say "I hated it!" which was perhaps not the response she was looking for
IC don't be too hard on yourself, you do have to forcibly remove the older one sometimes. DD1 is a real pacifist except when it comes to her sister. And I have to say that DD2 is now getting in on the act and adores pulling DD1's hair until she screams in pain. Oh, the fun we have.
JF your DH doesn't have a phone?!!! I am too much of a control freak, I couldn't cope with not being able to contact him. Getting in at 7pm with no dinner on a week night sounds late to me. Hope you enjoyed the cheese salad though
rainbow still FX you don't get the pox.
If I came back from a week away to a full laundry basket I think I would LTB. I cannot stand DH thinking all he has to do is keep them fed and basically alive when I am away (which is rare in any case). To be fair to him, he is very good and does generally get a wash on and unload the dishwasher etc
and leaves a trail of their clothes all over the house for me to pick up
Crossing fingers for rainbow and SB
IC I have had moments too. It's a lot less now, for me it's plonking her down a bit too hard. I do take a deep breath and walk away now, plus as he is bigger it really does happen less. What I try to do is remove her and focus on him. Debrief her afterwards and have had a lot of 1:1 time with her lately. I talk to her about when people do the same to her and how she doesn't like it. She also has her special toys which are just for her, but if it's toys on the bookcase they are for sharing (like mummy and daddy share their kitchen stuff so that we can cook and eat). She has places she can put items if she doesn't want to share (but can't be silly and put everything there).
Mums of two are great and completely understand (and often grateful to see other children 'playing up').
Scones we did do things the hard way by having our gap.
FX rainbow and SB!
Thanks for the reassurance JF and mous - trouble is, I can see DS will copy the aggressive behaviour and he will definitely be bigger and stronger than DD before too long. And I HAVE been too rough at times, when the red mist descends....
DD was rather spiteful to her lovely little nursery friend who came to play today - refusing to share toys, snatching stuff, not letting her take turns on things, saying "no!" to everything. She's often like this when friends come over, although usually reasonably well-behaved when on their territory. Anyone else experienced this? It makes for a very stressy play date - especially when I'm also trying to keep an eye on DS too. Luckily the friend's mum was lovely and understanding (although also having to look after a baby too - not easy for both of us at times!)
Still, on the upside, I finally got a paddling pool today and it's spot on - not too big, fairly easy to blow up by mouth (we don't own a foot pump) and hugely popular with both DD and DS (although DS is a terrible splasher, he LOVES it - but DD doesn't understand that it's not okay to deliberately splash him back when she's just being caught in the cross fire of his excitement at being in the water..... )
rainbow fx af doesn't turn up. This group needs new bfp. I'm on my 2ww too with af due on Tuesday (but hoping it won't )
Ok just checked mumsnet acronyms due tomorrow according to the app I use. Sometimes a day or 2 out.
sb DD slowly recovering from cp. spots all dried up except for 4 pustules on her toes which are quite persistent. might take her to see the doctor tmrw. Apparently it should be dried up by now. Btw have been meaning to ask - what's af stand for? No cp symptoms yet for me, but have been feeling itchy, no doubt a psychological effect.... If we manage to get a place then may ask the doctor to test me for cp immunity, and get a pregnancy test from boots if still no period tmrw. How's your DS now?
sr I thought the transition should be automatic. Is it because of limited places in the next year up?
jf I am quite paranoid whenever I travel and have to text my husband every few hours to make sure they're ok, which he doesn't usually respond. Typically laundry unwashed all week, so I come back to piles of laundry. Now thinking of how I can get my neighbours' mobiles to ask them to keep an eye on him.... (paranoid, right?).
To be fair, when I'm with DD she gets boiled eggs and simple pasta, or cornflakes depending on the meal. (She now says that daddy's food is nicer than mummy's, though I am consoled by my cupcakes being best of all - where does she get the diplomacy?)
When on holiday DD's sleep schedule normally skewed. Ends up with late nights and long afternoon naps.
at your DD1's tan.
ic perhaps a thing to try is also to talk to her when she's relaxed. I find that seems to work with DD. They can be quite rational. Another perspective - can't remember where I read it but one writer recommended to help her fill up her happiness cup, as she's probably hitting him because he's taken you from her. She recommended if you spent some time with her at the start of the day (or when appropriate) it helps fill her cup up, and she's happy again and solves the hitting.
IC I recognise that picture..... Last time I was away dd1's teachers discreetly sorted her hair out after she told them Papa tried his best .
Dd2 got on trouble at nursery for scribbling on other children's pictures (just for the hell of it to get a reaction). She got told off, gently, and promptly burst into tears. The next day she came home and told me she hadn't scribbled on anyone's pictures again and expected me to praise her .
Feel a bit sorry for you ds though. I don't think you are too tough in stopping her hurting him. That is quite unacceptable and I'm sure she knows that. I'm sure once he starts walking her protective mothering instincts will kick in and she'll look after her baby brother.
Dd1 has finally admitted experimenting with my fake tan last night when her leg came out in lovely stripes today .
JF DH does things differently here too. But I bet the girls had a great time and breaking the routine every now and then should be fine (my DS went to bed past 9pm for the 4 days we were away! --instead of 6.30pm--)
Awww! IC they do learn from each other at nursery too and will experiment, she now knows it wasn't a good idea... don't be so tough on yourself, I doubt you are rough
With DD1 I found that between 3 and 5 she did copied her friends behaviour a lot even if she knew it wasn't good.
I also realised that it was very important to tell off said friends for behaviour I didn't condone even if the parent thought nothing of it
I think I would have been a bit unnerved by that too, JF!
My DH is probably more of a stickler than I am for the eating/bedtime routine, but I remember my DSis speaking of leaving her place for the weekend leaving her DH in charge of their 4DCs. They had a great time, but when she got back on Sunday evening, none of the school uniforms had been washed, gym kits not ready, homework not done etc. etc. you get the picture...!
DD got involved in a wee brawl at nursery on Monday afternoon - with a boy, who scratched her face and left a mark. But apparently the fight was "six of one and half a dozen of the other". DD has been quite physically aggressive these last few months - lots of pushing especially. I fear my own roughness with her when trying to prevent her from hurting DS may be partly to blame. <sigh>
DD was okay after the fight, although a bit subdued that evening. She was fine going to nursery the next day and was also much less "pushy", thankfully. Meanwhile, I'm trying to be less physical with DD myself (although it's hard not to push her away from DS when she's kicking out at him, trying to tread on him, shoving him backwards etc...)
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