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FEB 2010 Three is a magic number, yes it is......(999 Posts)
Come and take shelter from the DC here, folks!
<offers tiffin, millionaire shortbread and other forbidden goodies>
dd2 made some little chocolatey treats presented in a painted basket. She was very clear they are for mother's day but this morning got too tempted and kept licking them... I then had one and told her she could eat the other two (didn't much fancy pre-licked chocolate for mother's day). So far so good, but then she had a melt down about five times today, every time she spotted the little empty basket, because the treat was strictly for mother's day! Didn't help when I told her they were gone because she ate them...
I am intrigued by the financial stuff scones Is it split into your money/his money? Sorry he is being a bit of a dick lately. How does he react when you speak to him about it?
bc nice to hear from you. Very impressed at the fact you were aware and spoke to a lot of people
unlike me who reads posts here and there and then forgets them all when I come to write
Scones I'm by the money comment. You may not be working for money but you're raising / taking care of 2 under 4!!
CP great news on the job. Good luck making the right decision
I too got a box of homemade biscuits by DS. He too had a problem understanding they were for me...
DS is coming down with a red rash with a white spot on it. The 'rash' looks like brusing/insect bites. Is that how chickenpox starts?
Mous I read your zebra passage and found tha I connected with it a lot. They tried to have me admitted to a psychiatric hospital aged 4 - enough said!! (And should I be worried that you did not mention me in the possible zebra category above?!! ) It applies quite a lot to DS1, who appears brighter and more of a thinker than DS2. "But Mummy, how does a lady feed the baby in her tummy?" and "How does a flower get inside a seed?" in the last week!
Scones I feel I ask DH the same thing over and over again. I agree with SR - think they just don't see the mess in the same way (or if they do, it doesn't reach critical levels until much later for them, and by then the football is on the tv!) I find DH doesn't suggest that I have time off but when I tell him I have arranged something, he is quite happy to have the boys and steps up and takes responsibility for them (and even gives them medicines). Most defintely not a bad person re staying at home - do it more often and set up things for the future now while you can! As for the money side of things, me thinks you need a chat about this asap, as, if I remember rightly, you are still in the relatively early days of your relationship, where things can still be altered and changed before they become set in stone. Alternatively, he'll have to pay you the going rate for childcare from his wages before he spends the money on himself !
I do keep score of the nights DH has away but will never catch up, especially as I'm pretty much too scared to go away at the moment, as mentioned on facebook. Hoping this will improve as time moves on.
DS1 has bought me a mother's day gift from the PTA stall at school this week. He kept it a secret today and then blurted it out in passing at the breakfast table by mistake. Cue, dissolving into floods of tears amid reassurances from me that I would have forgotten again by Sunday what he had said!! It was so cute and my heart ached for him as he'd been trying so hard to keep it a secret. DS2 has come home with a clay heart, painted red and covered in glitter.
BC I was interested to hear about the swimming. DS2 had his first swimming lesson without me int the pool last week and it terrified me almost as much as putting DS1 through a general anaesthetic! Thsi was due to a) them not using arm bands (which I approve of but...) b) DS2 haveing such a tendancy to fall over due to his hypermobile joints and c) he doesn't know which way is up when he goes under the water. I had talked at length to the swimming co-ordinator about DS2 but she clearly had not passed enough info on to the actual teacher. There is one other child in the class who has SEN and she found it very hard work to keep both of them safe. I rang again yesterday before taking him and explained my concerns. I am allowed to sit on the edge in my costume for the next few weeks in a 'management of making DS2 sit on the step whilst waiting his turn' capacity. The teacher did much better at foreseeing the likely difficulties. He did go under the water while she was talking to him so it showed her what could happen, and she stayed very close to him afterwards!
SB I've just started reading 'Raising Boys' and it's got some really interesting info that will help me, particularly with multiple boyage!! There is one bit about putting boys under three in childcare that made me very sad, so I should skip that bit if you ever read it!! BC it helped me to understand why boys behave as they do (and I've only reached chapter 4!)
Well done IC on dealing with DD's anxieties. Sounds like you are doing brillaintly - no wonder you are exhausted. It will all pay off and sounds like she is really getting the hang of nursery. DS2 had a poo incident on the middle floor of a soft play place yesterday during a party. (Envisage me carrying him at arms' length over multiple assault course-style items!!) Luckily, he tends towards the constipated end of the range!!
And finally, for tonight (apart from hellp to NK, CP, Stoof and all others..), DS2 brought me an art canvas today that he had done a self-portrait on the other day. He wanted another go and to 'rub it off'. I explained that this was not possible and carried on talking to my friend. I heard a noise. He was in the next room with a wet wipe furiously trying to rub off said acryllic painted picture!!
Have a happy mother's day everyone.
SB Have a close look at the spots. Chickenpox spots have small fluid filled blisters in the middle. Has he been exposed to chickenpox?
survival I've just bought 'Raising boy' on the advice of a friend. So as you're recommended too, it'll be a good read I hope.
The spots look more like insect bites than blisters tonight but I guess I'll know more tomorrow. No exposure as far as I'm aware.
Scones, I'm sorry, I didn't take in the stuff you said about money. I agree that it needs discussing, but it is so difficult to do. DH has sometimes said this kind of thing to me, and I found it terribly hurtful, but when I raised it he said that he hadn't meant it like that and he worked hard to provide financially for us. He also always supplies money when needed, increases direct debits etc. While I earn less now (considerably), I owned a house and he didn't when we married and I also had quite a lot of investments. I also look after all the finances. This all helps redress the balance.
My main issue with DH is poor communication (and skills). I wonder that this is true for many men?
scones <hugs> no I didn't forgot you on purpose I guess you post less than the others on your children so know a bit less.
I agree with SR regarding the money that needs sorting out.
I am a SAHM (OK I am tutoring at the moment but not sure it counts as working) and I have total control of all the money because DH is rubbish. I have never bought something stupidly expensive and DH would never say it is mine and you don't deserved it. It is the family money.
As for the mess I am still trying to find a remedy, DH has some kind of screening device in his brain which makes him ignore it completely:
yesterday he left his beer unsupervised and DD2 had a big gulp, she liked it (brown beer looks like coca cola which she doesn't like).
The point I wanted to make about zebra to IC and it might fit with you to scones is that the right part of the brain (emotional) is used more often than in the normal population.
Zebras are more sensitive to the feelings in the room and received more informations about situations. They are very good at misinterpreting things too because of this overload of informations. And dwell on small comments that actually mean nothing to others.
Personally I can "feel" negative energies (anger, hatred, sadness...) and always had (That where I am thinking of IC 's daughter's anxiety). If I am talking with someone who had a bad day I will feel its anger for example but can't help to think it is directed at me because I don't know that this person is angry about something at work but not me: It was especially difficult as a child (I can only talked about it with hindsight I am or was completely oblivious in the instant). OK it is a bit confused, but the general population wouldn't pick up on this or take it personally, IYSWIM.
that last bit in your post mous really resonated with me.
I take things literally, did alright at school but did very badly in stuff I found boring.
Thought I should do a DS update. Generally he is good, have stepped down the pain relief quite a bit now. He still can't stand on his own, but he can climb the stairs and climb objects where he pulls him up with his upper body. Crawling is quite fast when he wants something and it seems to have been good for his speech as there a few more clear words.
That sounds interesting Mous! I couldn't make the FB link work, unfortunately. But that definitely resonates.....
Scones I would be boiling about your DH's attitude - does he honestly think what you're doing is not work because it doesn't attract a salary/other benefits..?? Outrageous. And if you've already contributed financially to the relationship, it makes his assumptions even worse. Yes, give him a bill for child care and domestic duties based on current rates and then maybe he'll wake up a bit about your relative contributions. He can't have it both ways.
Survival, NK, aw at the Mothers' Day stories!! DD came back from shopping with DH today and immediately announced she had got me some chocolates, but it was a secret
NK compulsory formal education in the UK actually doesn't start until the term after a child reaches 5. Reception year is purely optional, by law children don't have to start school until the term after their fifth birthday. Of course, in practice most do go into the Reception year as most schools want them to start in September and there's not guarantee of a place (that said, there are no guarantees anyway!).... Joe would have been 4 for three days if he starts in Reception (I'm considering holding him back until Year One, it will depend on how he is and what I think he's ready for nearer the time...)
Well, DD was okayish at nursery yesterday, although still not very enthusiastic. The nursery head took me aside and suggested we switch one of her sessions to a morning once there's a place available in a few weeks time. They're clearly keeping an eye on DD and know that she's taking a little while to settle in.
DD did another poo at nursery yesterday - that's four in a row, now. Once again, she had just done it when I arrived, so I changed her. But again, she was fine last night and again today, no sign of the depression she had a couple of weeks back, so I hope she continues to work it through....
Science good to hear your DH is still doing better, despite the remaining issues.
IC I can't make the link to work you have to google the association and the author name that I gave on the post. sorry
Glad to hear about your DS CP
DD2 just had a massive nap on me <my bum is numb> but she woke up a few time mid sleep with a big loving grin when seeing me there, aaawwww <this is almost the end of those baby moments so worth it!>
She learnt to swing on her own today another tick to independence!
We are camping tonight . Admittedly not outdoors but in an empty house that has not been heated for at least two months, so we may as well be outside . The girls were hugely excited about sleeping on the floor with sleeping bags plus thick duvet and took ages to settle. Hoping for a good night.... We will probably leave the heating on because snow is forecast for tomorrow. House is just about starting to thaw . We are mad to come here but needed to see for ourselves in what state out last tenant left the place.
Only a 5 and a 3 year old can play hide and seek in an empty house!
NK how did the night go? at your DDs playing hide and seek
Bit late in the day but Happy Mother's day to you all. Hope you had a good day
SB Surprisingly well. The girls giggled until nearly 9, then dd2 got up once in the night because she had 'lost her place' (robbed out of her sleeping bag I think), and dd2 then got up at just before 7. (Yawn). We didn't stay around long because it was snowing and headed home quite early, getting back around 1. Then all had a nap for nearly three hours! Camping, even indoors, is very tiring
a normal day here but I did get the best mother's day present, a nap!
Did a run which was good as I had stopped when DS broke his leg and being generally busy with DD's b'day things, interviews and presentation writing. I could have run yesterday but I enjoyed a lazy day.
As DS isn't swimming atm, he and DH stayed home while I took DD. I also managed to take her to show that was at the children's centre. Normally would have dismissed it as wtih DS's lesson being just before DD's the timings don't work out. We both seemed to get a lot out of the 1:1 and made me realise I should make more effort with that. I'm not sure why we don't really.
DS stood up today, although he did fall down every other time he tried. Was quite a relief. He is back to climbing everything though so must have taken him off the table a dozen times today.
If I take the job we've worked out the children will be in nursery for 4 days as combination of DH working from home and my flexi hours means a few late mornings/early pick-ups. I want to clarify whether I can use the flex system to take a morning off once a week. If I can't I will raise some hesitation and they do seem very keen on me. Plan is for two mornings I will drop one off and DH will have two hours 1:1 time with the other. We went through the month of April working out what I would work each day and who would drop/pick children up to see how that part of it worked out. Hoping I get a phone call tomorrow and get a clearer idea of where we are.
Poorly baby here . dd2 was up half the night coughing, saying the cough hurt. This morning she couldn't walk or sit upright in the shopping trolley so I cut my shopping short. She's been on the sofa ever since, mostly sleeping. Just took her temperature and it's 39.9 . Poor little thing.
Sorry to hear that NK How are you feeling yourself?
CP good luck with the thinking
Ah, poor DD2 NK...
I'm feeling a bit lousy myself - really crap yesterday, bit better today but still decidedly iffy. A cold, I think. I'm off to bed in a mo... xx
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