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April 2011 - nearly 2, it's still all about you <disclaimer, I might be having a bad day>

(997 Posts)
UnderwaterBasketWeaving Fri 01-Feb-13 18:33:04


Thanks to Frak, thread title queen!

Kittycatcat Thu 04-Apr-13 09:09:51

Fil won't get involved. He always stays neutral.

She knows we can't afford it.

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Thu 04-Apr-13 09:16:29

I don't know what else to say Kitty sad. Horrible when you feel over a barrel. Can I suggest wine????

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Thu 04-Apr-13 09:16:46

Ha ha at wafting a hand under the smoke alarm!

We are now smoke alarmed to the max here. A couple of weekends ago our elderly neighbour hammered on our door. She had smoke billowing out from her garage. 2 fire engines arrived and I think they believe the fire started because something fell down the back of the freezer and the series of events started there. There wasn't a great deal of fire damage, but a huge amount of smoke damage.

We've been meaning to sort an all singing all dancing smoke alarm system out for a while, but have been putting it off until the renovations are complete. But after what happened next door we've put in a wireless system.

Speaking of renovations, I took the boys out for a walk yesterday, got back home and the back of the house was missing. Dh had decided that it was the right time to start the kitchen renovations. We're having bi-fold doors in there. But you have to make the hole, measure it, then order the doors - which take 6-8 weeks to arrive shock It's just the right time of year to remove half of the back wall confused THERE IS SNOW IN THE AIR HERE TODAY !!!!!!!!!

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Thu 04-Apr-13 09:20:04

Oh my god ILike! Do you fancy camping in Scotland! It might be warmer!

Thermals, hot water bottles and cosy socks!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Thu 04-Apr-13 09:20:35

X post by me there. Sounds like your mil is the matriarch kitty . I hope you can find a compromise.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Thu 04-Apr-13 09:23:27

Luckily the living room isn't too cold - or maybe I'm just getting used to it!

I need to get my monkey arse off of MN and do some housework - that will warm me up!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 04-Apr-13 09:28:09

Argh - ILike what a nightmare! However, envy at bifold doors grin

kitty I don't really know what to advise. If she is your only option for childcare then you have to let some stuff slide and focus on the food. Really it ought to be your DH sitting her down for a chat, not fair for it to always be you.
Could you pay for childcare for A for 6 months while you get past the weaning and reflux and leave S with her?

T awake loads in the night again last night. Despite a long walk, no nap and a good dinner. <weeps>

JKSLtd Thu 04-Apr-13 20:12:32

ILike - 6-8 weeks?!?!! shock hope the weather warms up asap!!!

Kitty - hugs & wine from me. She sounds like a nightmare tbh. My main things to say would be, make DH deal with things if poss & hang in there, they'll be at school soon enough (too soon) and she won't get to wind you up so much. Sympathies though, I get on with my MIL yet if she was looking after my DC she would make comments that would wind me up no end. She does anyway but I can try to rise above it and I know she means well deep down. If you can't be sure of that then it must be awful.

Fizz - do offload, as outsiders maybe we can even help, never know.

DD is currently being called either a monster-in-a-fairy-dress or 'the destroyer of all' grin & <sigh> she is a whirlwind. DH took her out shopping earlier & it was so peaceful & calm with just the 2 boys here!
Bring on school! (don't mean that really!)

MrsWajs Fri 05-Apr-13 09:17:18

Ugh MIL sounds like a horror kitty mine is much the same!! Hope you can come to some agreement with her.

Fizz Like everyone else has said, feel free to vent about your MIL too, we're all here to help if we can or even just listen.

Congrats on scan Firefly I saw your pic on fb - lovely!

I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and scan is in 13 days!! I wish it would hurry up! I feel mahoosive, definitely got a lot bigger this time, I almost weigh the same as I did when I gave birth to R!! I'm a tad worried that I'm going to pile on 4 stone this time and end up stretch-marked to death! sad

I think there is one other "on the bus" so to speak but she didn't want it to be on MN.

Not much else to report here, R is a cheeky monkey and has started hitting A LOT - any tips on deterring this?? I think she's just copying her brother but it's completely unacceptable.

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Fri 05-Apr-13 09:48:07

So only 3 on the bus. I thought it was 4! I also know 4 in RL expecting around sept/October time, that's probably why I am confused! It's not difficult to confuse me!

B has shared his cold! Yuk!

Kittycatcat Fri 05-Apr-13 22:22:20

So the inlaws haven't been in touch. They've spoken to and see their other son. Fil had apparently told dh he would call fri night. But hasn't. We are supposed to be round theirs Sunday for dh's birthday. I've told him to call them tomorrow. I'm so gonna be the baddy. I reckon dh will play it down too instead of telling it how it is. It shot me in a right flap. I had a slight panic attack yest cos s wouldn't eat his dinner and a was crying. I walked off and had a fight with my mattress.

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Sat 06-Apr-13 07:42:50

Oh kitty, ((hugs)) does dh know about how this is making you feel?

Kittycatcat Sat 06-Apr-13 16:19:30

Dh called while I'm out and got read the riot act. I behaved unacceptably. Dh told them my feelings and they said be that as it may they will do their best or we find a plan b. we are at theirs tomorrow for dh's birthday. They've said it will be ok but it's not is it. And I now know I can't say anything. They consider them to he their boys those three days. I'm stuck. As far as unconcerned its ruined my friendship with them and I will do what I must for as long as necessary.

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Sat 06-Apr-13 16:52:32

Oh kitty. Realistically can you get paid for childcare? You and DH can put away £243 gross in vouchers each (if yr companies provide them) that equate to around £150 net depending on tax codes etc so a joint saving of around £160 per month by using them. many nurseries/childminders do sibling discounts. Plus S will be getting his 15 nursery hours (is it 2 or 3 in England? They are running a trial here from 2). It might not be as unrealistic as you thnk.

I know this wont be helping you just now, please speak to you GP about the panic attacks, it isn't a bad thing to ask for help. Many of us have done it.

Kittycatcat Sat 06-Apr-13 18:50:32

My work do them fizz. I will ask min. It's 15 free hours from 3.

I think I might need to see my gp you know.

I am dreading tomorrow

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sat 06-Apr-13 19:30:08

Kitty what a horrible situation. You would think they would be desperate to do the right things with A's reflux at the very least.

Do go and see your GP, you're having tough time and like Fizz says there is nothing wrong in asking for help to get through that.

GreenFirefly Sat 06-Apr-13 21:33:24

Kitty, hope tomorrow goes ok. Not sure what the answer is long term.

Poor M fell into the side of a nest of tables tonight. She has a line on her forehead about an inch and a half long and a huge egg of a lump. I put a cold tea towel on it straight away which she hated but has hopefully reduced the swelling a bit. We then had to get her ready for bed trying not to touch it. She seems to be sleeping ok but i keep going in to check on her. She's also got a bruised cheek form the table and all this to go with a graze next to her eye from falling onto a bucket the other day. She looks like she's been in a fight sad and of course we're seeing the health visitor for her 2 year check on wednesday.

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Sun 07-Apr-13 10:27:47

Oh Firefly, sorry but I had a little laugh there, they pick the best times to do that don't they! I'm just glad to hear B isn't the only on with a death wish!

How are you feeling this morning Kitty? Are you still going to the out laws for lunch?

Kittycatcat Sun 07-Apr-13 10:34:10

Hope m is ok firefly

My stomach is in knots but I have to go don't I. Dreading it. I think they are more annoyed about my outburst and storming off without saying bye even tho mother f@cker... Sorry mil walked off!!!

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Sun 07-Apr-13 10:48:38

Go, hold your head high, keeps your babies close and remember you are their mother not her. You know what's is best for them. Mil will be looking for a reaction from you. It will P her off no end to not get one. If she starts, cut her off quickly with one liner. "I thought you said everything you needed to say yesterday" or "today is DHs day, don't spoil it" or my particular favourite "here is a one way ticket to fucksville, when you get there fuck off some more" maybe don't say that.

Have you any literature on reflux? I would copy it for MIL and just leave it with her to read. If she cares as much as she says she will read it, and hopefully understand why it is so important to only give him what you pack for him.

Kittycatcat Sun 07-Apr-13 11:16:01

Haha fizz. Love that. She used to be a midwife so will just be insulted even tho things change.
I've got spare clothes ready to leave for the week and no more. The boys are going dressed tomorrow!

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack Sun 07-Apr-13 11:42:48

Midwive deal with fanjos and tiny babies last time I checked. Does she really think she is the expert in children? Sheesh!

Good idea about sending them dressed, don't give her more responsibility than you need to until you can get something sorted.

Kittycatcat Sun 07-Apr-13 12:30:36

She really does fizz

GlaikitFizzog Sun 07-Apr-13 17:18:24

Are you alive Kitty? Is MIL still alive? Is anyone wearing food? grin

GreenFirefly Sun 07-Apr-13 18:54:00

M's face isn't half as bad as I feared. Slight bruise to her cheek and a red line on her forehead but I think the cold compress helped a lot.

Kitty, I hope you survived today!

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