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Still brooking no argument whatsoever that these babies are happy, healthy and awesome for 2013 too.

(1000 Posts)
jaggythistle Wed 26-Dec-12 20:46:08

eh. attempt at new thread. yo.

DreamingOfAWhiteChristmas Wed 02-Jan-13 15:34:45

This will be a rubbish post again as I'm pushing boys so one handed (oh for babies who nap in the blooming house!)

stacks, just to be really annoying, I'd say sit up and feed in the cradle position and get the latch right. Just because I struggled with B. I saw a lactation consultant 2or 3 times. I could get him on ok in cradle hold but not rugby ball but when they were tiny he and S both fed so often that feeding individually wasn't really an option and i could only feed one cradle one rugby ball when they were bigger. Even now, I could tell you which side I've fed B from as its less comfortable. It's not painful when I feed, and never was for the whole feed, but comparing him to S his latch is worse and it does make quite a big difference to me. Plus o know for a fact its B giving me recurrent blocked ducts/ mastitis. I wouldn't wake a sleeping baby to feed, I had to with B initially as he weighed less than 2.5kg and wasn't gaining (was threatened with readmission) but i never felt he fed well if i woke him, I found it hard to wake him (partly due to his jaundice which makes them sleepier) and then he'd be more sick than usual. In hindsight I wish I hadn't tried to wake him, I think he'd have been ok by himself. They were big cluster feeders though, and obviously my boys, despite growing like weeds and crossing multiple upward centiles, have never had more than one boob or formula. Incidentally the L C said not to feed more frequently than 2 hourly (mine were feeding hourly easily, building supply to feed two) as they'll be snacking and not hungry and it makes them more windy and feeds into the colic cycle. But when i rang back in tears to say it was going great feed spacing for S but not B she said not to torment myself and him and wait a while longer before feed spacing (which i was only doing to 2 hourly!) . Again with hindsight B was miserable and cows milk protein intolerant but hey...

So the point of the ramble is I'd persevere with the latch but not the waking, and not two boobs, and B for all the heartache has stacked way more weight on and overtaken his brother in height ( but who knows what they weigh!)

DreamingOfAWhiteChristmas Wed 02-Jan-13 15:38:08

Will reply to everyone else later but arm ache with my pushing arm!!!

And in case it wasn't obvious stacks from 2 weeks old I has big 'colic' problems that was colic for S but cmpi for B. Hours and hours of screaming...

JenFrankincenseAndMyrrh Wed 02-Jan-13 16:01:37

Stacks DD never had as much boob in her mouth as the pictures show. I only ever fed one boob at a time and half the time can't remember which one I did last so end up having a feel and then going with the one that feels firmest. I never had any pain feeding, no blocked ducts or anything and DD hasn't had any weight problems. I had lansinoh but only used it 2 or 3 times and then ended up giving it away as I didn't need it. This may of course just be pure coincidence but thought I'd add my experience in. Until DD grew too big I always fed her in the natural position, sat upright on my leg. No idea if this made a difference but it was the bf clinic at the hospital that showed me this position on day 3 because DD kept falling asleep too quickly on feeds

PetWoman Wed 02-Jan-13 16:17:20

Scream I just wanted to wish you all the best for your return home. I can understand why you're worried. Is DH working atm? Because if so, at least he'll have to be out of the house sometimes. Has he had depression before? Is he getting any help? I'm not meaning to be nosy, just hoping that somehow he will get better and you will be happy together again. If that's what you want, of course. thanks

Smeggnog Wed 02-Jan-13 17:50:08

Oh wow, you're all here! You dropped off my TIO and I didn't realise! Oops blush

We're doing well - DD2 is a chubby little porker baby, bf is going well judging by the sheer volume of dirty nappies I'm dealing with and I'm getting sleep! Fx I don't jinx it with this post. And she smiled for the first time on Christmas Day, at 3 weeks old!

However, I seem to have a problem - oversupply. Anyone experience this, does it settle down? I started a thread in breastfeeding called Too much milk?, more detail on there.

Sorry for 'me,me,me' post - bfing and one handed typing, nort easy.

Back later to write a less selfish post...

PS Scream I hope tomorrow goes well. Sorry your DH is not-so-dear at the moment - I hope he gets some help and doesn't hang around upsetting you.

JenFrankincenseAndMyrrh Wed 02-Jan-13 18:05:18

I had an oversupply. There were times I had to express a little at the start of a feed as my boobs were rock solid and too hard for DD to latch onto. They did settle down though

hawthers Wed 02-Jan-13 19:53:04

Going for a name change too as current one too obvious. If anyone cared to I'd be identified in a second although prob a bit late now!. Right back in a bit....

raaboonah Wed 02-Jan-13 20:04:39

Ta da I'm back! Slightly random name I know but highly amusing as DS1 keeps shouting it instead of saying yahoo. Has kept me cheered all day whilst back at work.

stacks I'd say hvs advice is pretty much always a pile of suite to be taken with a punch of salt. Def speak to a lactation consultant as they are specialists and really helped me.

smegs I believe block feeding is supposed to help oversupply. Have a look at the kellymom website for the gospel on bfing. Seems to he the best place and should have something in oversupply.

scarletfestivefingernail Wed 02-Jan-13 21:47:42

raaboonah I'm intrigued now as to how the old name was obvious?

Scream is DH dragging his heels because it's not what he wants, or is he on the same page as you? It must be very frustrating for you if he is unmotivated to seek help but also wants you to be together. Do you feel that all of the responsibility is on you as to whether you stay together or not? I might be barking up the wrong tree, I just feel for you because I can imagine how much stress you're under right now and I want you to know that you can come and rant away as much as you like ((((hugs))))

Hello Smegs I had an under supply both times so no advice I'm afraid.

Yay for crawling Jaggy. DD has mastered going backwards but just sort of rocks when she attempts to move forwards. I can't believe that in another 4 months you, me and Scream will have babies a year old shock
Does DS1 know that he's starting nursery next week? Has he been for any taster sessions?

DH went back to work today and I was visited by a friend which was lovely. A quick question...if you had PND do you think you would realise it yourself or do you thing you'd be oblivious? My friend mentioned it when I told her about how bad my anxiety is and it got me wondering. I don't think I've ever felt low enough to be what I imagine depression to feel like and I really think it is anxiety rather than depression, but would I actually know that? confused

scarletfestivefingernail Wed 02-Jan-13 23:15:19

Oh I completely forgot to say

HAPPY NEW YEAR BROOKERS. All the very best for 2013.

raaboonah Thu 03-Jan-13 08:09:34

scarlet it was.basically a shortening of of maiden name that my DH calls me and so do a few others.

scream its tough and draining living with someone who is depressed. Is he getting treatment? Has he thought about anti depressants? Could it be a sort of pnd linked to his parents deaths? Sorry to ask such blunt questions. I'd be surprised if your marriage was unaffected by it and so still not great after he'd had some treatment. It is difficult to get the motivation to see someone when depressed. Does he know he isn't himself? Would he go to the gp with you?

TooImmatureMincePies Thu 03-Jan-13 12:52:56

Scarlet, I think your CBT counsellor might have picked it up if you had had PND. I do think that you would have to have felt utterly miserable, lethargic and unable to cope a lot of the time to have PND. DH has days when he just lies in bed/on the sofa in a pit of misery. It's a hard one, because obviously you did/do have terrible anxiety, which has some of the same symptoms. I think anxiety is actually a separate diagnosis to depression, although they all come from the same stable, ifyswim. Plus, being exhausted with a new baby and toddler gives some of the same symptoms too!

Scream, honey, thinking of you. I hope your DH a) moves out and b) gets some help. Is he not at work all day during the week? You and little A need to be in your own house. Is he so negative around A, or does she cheer him up? As you know, DH is struggling with depression too, and it is very hard going. I seem to spend all my life reminding him of his blessings (which probably doesn't help much, but I have to say something! And it's a bit better than saying 'buck up, sissypants' a la Big Bang). Still, he does play with M and laugh with her and stuff.

Like the new name, Rahboo!

Smegs, I had rock-solid boobs too, with my nipples kind of poking out at angles because the boobs were so full. It had settled down by 6 weeks, because I remember having a panic that I didn't have enough milk at that point (which was totally unfounded). <wishes boobs were still that full and not quite so deflated as they currently appear>

So, today I am alone! DH is at work and M is doing her first full day at nursery! It is weird. I slept all morning and am now drinking a vat of tea and eating toast. The state of the house is depressing, though - I have friends coming round tomorrow to first-foot me, so I need to do a lot of tidying and cleaning up.

I start back at work on Monday! [scared] I wish I felt less fat - I haven't dared weigh myself, but my waist is definitely thicker than it was. However, I can't start dieting until we've eaten our way through all the bread, potatoes and birthday cake in the house. I'm going to weigh myself on Saturday and restart the low-carb diet then. I wanted to be returning to work thin, lithe and toned - ha ha ha. sad

musicalmrs Thu 03-Jan-13 13:23:15

Scream, have been thinking of you all morning. Hope the move went/goes well, and that your DH moves out as he said he would. I hope he gives you and A the space you need, while also getting the help he needs, and generally plays his part as he should to make life as easy for you as it can be.

Too, eek at M being at nursery all day! Hope she has a wonderful day smile How lovely to have slept all morning - I'm sooo jealous. I know what you mean about the state of the house - mine looks ok at first glance, but it's mainly the banks of dust/cat hair mounting up in all the corners. Like on the skirting boards. Yick! Ooh Monday's so soon!

Scarlet, I agree with Too. Your HV would have helped notice too - did you have that visit where they assessed you for PND? They did it for me, when my mother was here. I have a bit of an anxiety issue with a few things - purely over daft things, like driving (I tend to overthink things, like hideous junctions en route). Because I answered one question in a way they weren't satisfied with I was grilled about it - and luckily my DM could back me up as she has the same kind of anxiety as me, and so it's all her fault!

Smegnog, no oversupply issues here so I can't help I'm afraid... but would expressing any help? When Iz was little I managed to express loads and stocked up the freezer. I find it much harder now, and the freezer's running low... not good.

Also like the new name raaboo, and Too's shortening of it!

Think we're slowly getting better here. Head is less cotton wool-y, although I still feel full of cold. Rather than waking every hour as she has for a few nights (waking up full of cold after each sleep cycle I think?) Iz did 2-3 hour stretches last night - not as good as she has, but getting better.

Over Christmas, DH and I made the decision that I wouldn't go back to my old teaching in London <wibble>. I now have to write a resignation letter <double wibble>. It's a shame as I really loved working for them sad I actually love work, and will really miss it. Once I've sent off the letter and all's been set in stone I might send off some CVs locally. If I work somewhere in the local ish vicinity (i.e. driving distance), I'll have to have a car, and can easily take Iz to nursery on the way - which wasn't an option with the London job (which was part of the problem, along with the distance). It feels good to have made a decision, but I'm going to wibble until it's all official I think!

Mat pay runs out this week too, which makes it even more scary!

On the plus side, I think Iz is finally learning how to get down from places when standing up without just crying for me! Not everything - only lower objects - but she's beginning to realise she can use her knees for it grin. Scream - she's never had the clinging-onto-a-toy with two hands issue - she's always been quite sensible by only using the one hand - just hadn't been able to figure out how to get down until now!

Sorry, there's so much I want to respond to but I don't have time to name check right now. Hopefully I'll come on again once little A is in bed (when she has a bed to get into...)

Just wanted to say that little A had her first settling in session at nursery today, and she seemed to love it! Although for the first visit I stay in the room with her, so I think she thinks this is her new playgroup! While at nursery she stood up without pulling up on anything for the first time! Just pushed off the floor and stood up playing with a toy for a brief moment. It was very cute.

I'm now officially back home. Surrounded by a million boxes that I can't even bear to imagine unpacking. DH is assembling my bed and the cot at the moment. He's sleeping in little A's room tonight and he assures me that he's moving into his Aunt's house tomorrow. What he doesn't know is that his Aunt has already told me he's only asked if he can stay there for the weekend, hardly the 3 months we agreed. His family can see how difficult he's being at the moment though, and they've been really sweet to me about it. His Aunt has said she will invite him to stay longer when he gets to her house tomorrow, so hopefully we'll get around the problem of him avoiding moving out that way. Sigh. I'm just feeling a bit exhausted / overwhelmed / emotional / stressed out at the moment, and I just want a couple of days to myself.

My family are coming round tomorrow to look after DD while I unpack, and my Dad's taking me to see Jack Reacher in the evening grin Who needs a husband?!

DreamingOfAWhiteChristmas Thu 03-Jan-13 18:17:58

Argh scream, just argh sad

DreamingOfAWhiteChristmas Thu 03-Jan-13 18:18:29

And wine and thanks for you

pommedechocolat Thu 03-Jan-13 19:30:23

Oh scream. That sounds so hard, your're being a parent to A and dh at the moment. Tiring. wine wine wine.

Yay for A liking nursery though and big wow to her standing up!

My A had her first proper alone settling in session at nursery today and she was brilliant. I am very proud! Tomorrow I have to drive though. Eek.

<waves to all>

PetWoman Thu 03-Jan-13 19:53:53

Scream at least DH's family are being helpful. Hope little A sleeps well with daddy tonight. Wow for the standing!

Musical that sounds like a good decision re work. I hope something comes up locally so you can continue doing what you love, just closer to home.

Too hope you got the house sorted and enjoyed a bit of time to yourself!

Scarlet I'm not sure about PND / anxiety. Worth checking with a GP perhaps?

Been phoning round childminders today. Found a few with spaces. Got a few more to ring, but already arranged to meet 2 tomorrow. Eek! I've still got nearly 2 months before I return to work but I'm starting to worry about it already. Yuck.

jaggythistle Fri 04-Jan-13 07:51:24

struggling to catch up here in the terrible phone signal zone that is my parents house.

all my boys sleeping as usual. <rolls eyes> DS2 on my knee, he slept great the night before and was only up once, but was up a few times last night. <inserts matchsticks>

scream - just moving out for the weekend. hmm. glad DH's aunt is helping.

scarlet DS1 knows about nursery and he's been for one short session with DH. his first day is just an hour and then he goes to his 2.5 hours. I'm not sure if he gets that we won't be there as well, but i don't want to labour that point too much Iyswim?

right. away to try and get DS2 into the travel cot Rm i can get a shower. i can hear DS1 waking up so he can have breakfast with my mum today smile

scarletfestivefingernail Fri 04-Jan-13 08:49:41

Eeek Too. Your return to work has come round quick. How many days are you going to be working?

I hope you're ok Scream? How was Jack Reacher? We'd like to go and see it but we just can't get past the fact that Tom Cruise is playing him. It's a bit like when Anne Hathaway ruined the part of Emma in One Day. DH really is quite cross about it.

Good luck for the driving today Pomme. How's it going over there? Are you settling in ok?

At least the decision has been made now musical and you don't have to worry about it any more. It sounds like the right thing to do and makes sense with the childcare arrangements.

Let us know how you get on with the childminders today Pet

I've made a decision re getting me back to my normal carefree self. I spend far too much time at home therefore I have too much time to worry about stuff. I'm exhausted from going to bed far way too late which cannot be helping with my anxiety. This is DH's fault, he's always been late coming to bed and I don't see the point in going before him because he makes so much noise when he does come to bed he wakes me up and then I can't get back to sleep.
So....I'm looking into doing either/or both some sort of exercise class in the evenings, some sort of night school class. I could do with increasing my energy levels and getting a qualification can't be a bad thing even if I'm just doing it for fun.
Hopefully I will then go into a deeper sleep when I do go to bed and not notice DH charging round the bedroom at midnight angry and I might get a bit more sleep. It will also give me something other than the kids health to focus on.

Now to decide what confused...

PetWoman Fri 04-Jan-13 11:01:33

Scarlet what a great idea! Hope you find something really good. Maybe an evening class you could walk to, thus getting exercise AND qualifications?! Or swimming might be a nice way to wind down? I'm with you on midnight being too late to go to bed - especially noisily. angry

Jaggy hope your having a lovely time with your parents. smile

Too how is M's sleep now? DS is still up every 1-3 hours. At 9 months. confused

Pomme how's it going? Hope you've finished unpacking and are feeling more settled already. Good luck with the driving!

Biscuits are you lurking or still super busy? We miss you!

PetWoman Fri 04-Jan-13 11:02:58

you're having blush

TooImmatureMincePies Fri 04-Jan-13 11:06:50

Sounds interesting, Scarlet! If you exercise you'll get the endorphin boost, too, which will help with the anxiety. Of course, learning something and getting a qualification would also be good. <sits on fence> Have you got a list of courses you could take? What sort of thing are you interested in?

I'm going to be working 4 days, with Fridays off. Not looking forward to it! apart from the bits where I get to drink my tea immediately after making it and not have to microwave it later because M got her finger stuck in the latch of the dishwasher and panicked

Eek, Pomme, driving in Italy sounds a bit scary - hope you get on ok! I've never driven in a foreign country - is it hard remembering to drive on the right?

Jaggy, Brooking that DS1's nursery session goes well!

M got on quite well yesterday, but hadn't settled well for her morning nap, so drank all the milk I had sent in then. That means I need to be sending in more, which will be hard work. I feel like my supply is dropping and expressing is taking longer. She only slept for 40 mins each nap, which isn't nearly as much as usual. She also howled getting her nappy changed 5 mins before DH arrived to pick her up - she'd been put down in a pile of toys, cheered up and started playing, DH walked in and she looked up at him and burst into tears! Think he was a bit gutted. She cheered up as soon as he picked her up, though.

Pet, Brooking that you find a great childminder!

Scream, how are things, my lovely? Hope DH stays at his aunt's for a lot longer than just the weekend!

Musical, does it feel good to have made a decision, even if you'll miss the London job? At least you'll get more time with Iz. She sounds like she's doing brilliantly, by the way!

TooImmatureMincePies Fri 04-Jan-13 11:13:53

Cross post, Pet - yy to missing Biscuits!

M's sleep is so much better. We carried on doing cc over Christmas after M was a nightmare on Christmas Day night - woke the whole house repeatedly, apart from my 11 yo brother who was in the next room! He slept through all the howling. hmm So on Boxing Day I was resolute, M went down easily at 7.30ish but woke up at 10 and cried on and off for an hour, but then slept through to 7 in the morning. Since we got home she's been great at going to bed - goes down without crying, mostly, and sleeps for most of the night. Last night she woke up at 3.30 coughing and couldn't stop, so I fed her to soothe her throat, but she went down again no bother afterwards. Having said that, she then woke up at 5.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep, so it's not all jam! Still, she had basically slept from 6.45 pm to 5.30am, which is marvellous when you think where we were a couple of weeks ago.

TooImmatureMincePies Fri 04-Jan-13 11:16:04

Oh, and she also goes down for naps awake without crying now (at home). This morning she went down almost gratefully, didn't cry, crawled around the cot until she got comfy and finally fell asleep with her head at the bottom, on her tummy, one hand gripping the bars! She's still there now - I can hear her snoring over the monitor.

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