October babies. Don't get lost

[lisbethsopposite]

Come in come in.

[lisbethsopposite]

Whew. Had a panic there and that was the best i could do.

[lisbethsopposite]

BTW I can't log on to the new MN app. I did download it but it does not recognise my username and/or password. Any advice?

[Londonmrss]

marking place.
re self settling, I've just stated it at 6 weeks. I find that it works if she's been up a couple of hours so I know she must be tired. I make sue she's calm and then just pop her gently down. if she's a bit grizzly a dummy seems to do the trick. if she cries, I pick her up and give her a cuddle for 5 mins and then pop her back down. if she cross again I assume it's not time for a nap! sometimes works sometimes doesn't but I suppose it's all good practice.

not a bad night here so far. baby slept for 4 hours on the trot which is best we've ever had. feed her and had her settled back to sleep just 30 mins later. a sign of things to come? (fingers crossed emoticon)

[Elpis]

Can't help you there. Haven't downloaded a new app yet.

beccus My view is that newborns are too young to develop 'bad habits' in the sense we understand the word. They've just emerged from a place where they never had to worry about food or drink or comfort. Now they have to persuade us to give them both and are still utterly dependent on the goodwill of the humans around them. A cuddled baby who's fed to sleep isn't being spoilt - she's just learning to trust her parents to look after her and meet her needs. Sometimes it feels as though they are being wilfully difficult and you have to work so hard to overcome that impatience. I've generally found that giving a baby what she needs reduces the moments of frustration. But I would say that, wouldn't I?

[Twobuttonsaway]

Evening all, hope you are well and getting some sleep. Totally agree with elpis comments that you can't spoil a new baby and starting a bedtime routine helped both my DSs to self settle. It doesn't work immediately but do persevere!

Baby buttons is going well, but a bit grumpy after yesterday's 8 week jabs. Last feed of the evening finished at 8pm so am totally chuffed he went through til 2. Here's hoping the next one is morning!

mrsn hope your eyes feel better soon. For those of you who have had a tough day, remember to be kind to yourselves, babies are hard work - you need treats! Take each day as a new day was good advice given to me once! Prescribing cupcakes and hot choc with marshmallows.

[OctoberOctober]

Marking place.

I keep attempting to put down DS still awake but keep caving in.

Dp much better, she knows we got into bad routine with ds1 where he had to be lulled to sleep every time and it is exhausting when they get older and are awake longer.

...she says, feeding DS to sleep..

[MickeyTheShortOne]

cheesy im so sorry i didnt mean that to be a really nosy qiestion, i was just more concerned that they'd put you on ADs without any kind of long term solution; medicines great for the short term but in the long run, the problem needs to be solved, not just treating the symptoms which is why half my family are addicted to ADs

[hufflepuffle]

Just marking spot.........

[Woolybob]

Thanks lisbeth. I'm using app but working fine for me so sorry no advice! Bad connection maybe?

[Beccus]

Thx londonmrs, elpis, october and twobuttons, for your thoughts on settling. i like yours, londonmrs- abandon nap time if bean wont settle-makes sense! May your bean's 4 hr sleep extend. i was told to b/f or express every 2-3 hrs until 6 weeks, so this week have been increasing her long sleep by half an hr per nite so she and my boobs can gradually learn to go longer. she just dud 5 hrs, am delighted! :-)
elpis & two, be gr8 to know more about how your dc1's made the transition to self settling, if u have time to post. oct, if u have time too, what did 'lulling' involve? Thx so much ladies.

[Cherrychopsticks]

Right, catch up time. This may take a while...

Bella, so sorry to hear about your DH's redundancy. It couldn't have happened at a worse time really, could it? But I'm sure that if your DH is anywhere near as great as you, he'll find something very soon! One door closes, another one opens - I'm sure bigger and better things are on the horizon.

Squid, please don't be too hard on yourself about post pregnancy figure, it really hasn't been that long. How do you feel when you look in the mirror? Nevermind weights and sizes, I bet you look fab after all your exercise! My size is not much different except everything's a bit soft and wobbly. I don't actually mind being a bit curvier now, but I have lots of expensive jeans I can't fit into!

Huffle, YEY for perky boobs! I would definitely recommend laid back feeding, much more comfortable. I hardly ever do cradle hold, except when we're out -kills my back already, hate to think what it'll be like when DS gets bigger.

How are things going, Yomping? I, too have been feeling the rage a bit and have to take a step back. I'm fine if things are logical ie. baby cries, gets fed, stops crying. But when he cries for no reason or won't settle it's so frustrating and the lack of sleep makes it so much worse.
Your honesty on here is always refreshing, it sounds like you're doing great. Even though I don't really know you, I can safely say - you're nothing like your dad.
Hope the breast feeding probs are easing now. Up til last week I thought I was getting to the comfortable stage and enjoying it more and more. This week my nips are killing again...

Beeble your settling tips are great! I'd been doing the head stroke and holding down his arms, but hadn't tried hand on cheek. Can I also suggest stroking the bridge of the nose? I read it somewhere and it really seems to work. Before I could only put DS down if he was already sound asleep.

London, Kyrria and Meeps, totally with you on the lack of sleep. DS has never ever slept for more than 3 hours. Mostly it's 2, and in the evenings and early mornings he averages about 1hour. By the time I'm sure he's asleep, then manage to fall asleep myself, it's time to wake up! I'm not sure how much longer I can cope. Today I had a new plan to sort everything out so I could sleep during his morning, after bath nap as its generally the longest but...I couldn't sleep!! so I cried instead.

DS has woken and has this great new habit of going from sleeping like an angel to full on paddy in 1 second. Better go! More later.

[cheesymonster]

Mickey that's ok I didn't think you were being nosey! - I do intend to have the counselling also

[WantAnOrange]

Beccus Elpis is right about babies and 'bad habits'. If you just go with your babies cues you will find you have a 'securely attatched' (sorry to use jargon) baby. Which basically means that they trust you 100% therefore dont feel the need to cling and will be confident enough to move away from you and sleep on there own when they are developmentally ready. As for feeding, our babies know when they are hungry, we have to show them trust too.

Also, evidence shows that children who are sleep trained need to be re-trained after every big change in their life (staying in hospital, moving house, new sibling etc), whereas children who are encouraged to follow their own developmental route may take longer to sleep on their own in the first place but once they do, it's pretty much permanent.

Agree that London has good ideas because she is taking her cues from the baby.

DD has just filled her nappy quite spectacularly and then had a good laugh about it! Lovely.....

Squid I have gained weight since the birth! Quite a lot of weight I think, although I dont own any scales, but my waist appears to have vanished. Does anyone else just feel hungry all the time when BF?

[Cherrychopsticks]

Crazy, hope you're getting some rest now DS1's back at the CM. don't know how you cope with 2! Any news on DS's health issues? Must be very worrying, but a good sign that the doc doesn't seem too concerned. Hope it all works out.
No idea how to feed in a Moby, can barely manage to get DS in it properly. Seriously considering getting an Ergo.

Zara, well done on the flight! I shall be asking for tips before I go home in March. Your breast feeding post made me cry, and definitely made me appreciate things more. I really have nothing more to add as everyone, especially Bella, have said all so perfectly already. Thinking of you
Oh, and no waxing so far. Am planning a bit of a tidy up this evening, but will probably end up falling asleep in the bath.

London, your smart phone antics are keeping me very amused. I love a good autocorrect fail! I second the BBC news app, Facebook and Mumsnet Talk. Got the Baby Connect one after October recommended it and am loving it so far.
Love Relax Melodies for white noise, too.
I'm also relieved to hear you still have a clitoris , gives me hope I might rediscover mine soon hopefully tonight
In answer to your Q, DS feeds for about 10 mins at a time, with an ocasional long one and does hundreds of about 5 poos a day, at least.

October, you really did get the short straw, doing this with a toddler too! Would love to hear your perspective as the observing partner last time when you get a chance - bet you feel differently now! Hope baby's ok after the sofa incident.

@ Botox baby Beccus!

Wooly, at this stage I'd take 4hrs as sleeping through...
Hope baby Wooly is ok, despite "failure to thrive" label. Really is a horrible term.

Livvy, I definitely find this baby lark a bit boring, and very repetitive. I was ok the last couple of weeks when I had visitors, but now I'm back to thinking up reasons to get out the house. DH is working this weekend, so don't even have that to break up the monotony.
Been treating poo stains with Oxy Clean Max Force spray. Works wonders. Not sure if it has the same name in the UK.

Congrats on the presentation Wantan! Sounds like you have a very supportive DH. (As he should be, of course )

Sorry about mastitis Midget, hope you feel better soon. Anyone know what measures we can take to avoid it? Or is it just one of those things? I live in fear...

Great to see you again Elpis! Really hope it wasn't anything I said that put you off - I think I did once say something like "someone more knowledgable, like Elpis, will be along soon to advise". I'm really sorry. Of course you don't need the extra pressure and responsibility, you certainly have enough to think about at home.
For what it's worth, I don't think you we're being at all neurotic about the abscess, I would have freaked!
Hope things work out with your DH's job.

Mickey, what a shit situation. Don't have any advice but I think making yourself and the situation known to the police is an excellent idea (sorry, can't remember who suggested). It's my understanding that people like your dad target people who are at vulnerable stages in their lives and not at their strongest. It sounds like both you and your mum have well and truly moved on, and are in strong, happy, confident places. He will not know how to deal with that at all, I should think. I'm really sorry you have to deal with all this when things were going so well for you.

So sorry about your job Plankton

All fine here, thanks Smorgs. I'm quite a bit further south. Some people did feel it here, but not me. I'm a bit earthquake immune. I think any mention of tsunami here now and people panic, understandably. (Is that a word? Looks weird.)

Big hugs Cheesy

Really can't write any more, sorry to anyone I missed. Must actually get on and do something today. Was thinking about putting the Christmas tree up...

[Thechick]

Hello, can I join? My little one was born 6 weeks early on the 7th October. He spent 16 days in the Scbu but that all feels like a lifetime ago. He started off ff and then emb was added to all feeds but since we've been at home we've sorted out bf and he's now ebf. I have low milk and am taking fenugreek and am weening off domperidone. LO is now 9wks tomorrow. Isn't smiling responsively just yet and isn't close to sleeping through the night. We had our jabs a couple of days ago and he seems fine, but was very sleepy for about 24 hrs. Well that's us. Looking forward to getting to know you all.

[Londonmrss]

congrats on the giant catch up cherry!

welcome thechick! well done on bf. we had a difficult start too and are still settling into it.

[Cherrychopsticks]

Thanks London! Haven't even started on my news though...

Welcome Chick, sounds like you've had a stressful time so far, glad things are settling down now.

[Woolybob]

Welcome chick sounds like you had a rocky road but glad thinks are better now, do you think the fenugreek helps? Am considering that myself.

Beccus sorry forgot to say earlier sorry about your centile loss, please don't worry - from speaking to ppl it is incredibly common and is most likely catch down growth. We are now down nearly 3 but bean still seems smiley, happy & healthy to me...

We have no such thing as nap time in our house, DD will sleep in arms, sling or pram but wakes instantly if put down. Having said that did sleep 15 min in crib yesterday so maybe there's hope. Keep thinking should be stricter and put her down more but on the other hand she looks so cute asleep against me in the sling plus I read somewhere babes that are carryed round for at least 3 hours cry less.

Settling at night is feeding to sleep or DH has a small rocking jiggling dance he's perfected. Keep trying to put bean down just before completely asleep but only managed this twice, otherwise she has to be totally gone. Having said that she now sleeps 5-6 hours her first nightime stretch so must be 'self settling' as part of sleep cycles?

[Woolybob]

Oh and beccus I posted on here in the breast and bottle feeding section about the failure to thrive and got some good advice so worth doing that if you're worried

[MickeyTheShortOne]

welcome chick!!
that was the most epic catch up ive ever seen cherry!!
three cheers for pippa :-) only woke us up twice again last night- hopefully the night before was just a blip

[Honeycantthinkofanxmasnickname]

Hi chick. I had DS1 on 25th October and he was 7 weeks early so understand a bit of what you're experiencing. Just turned 6 weeks and still waiting for smiles and eye contact.

[Smorgs]

Well after horrendous day yesterday I was on my knees and handed him over to dh for the night with instructions to bring him to me when he needed feeding. What does he do? Sleeps for 5 hours straight. Now why won't he do that for me?!

cheesy I read back my post to you yesterday and realised how unbelievably patronising I sounded. Im so sorry. You sound like you're doing all the right things - getting out and seeing people, help from docs etc hopefully things will start looking up soon.

[Beccus]

thx woolybob, will check it out. thx, too, wantan- it's good to know there is evidenced based research out there- sometimes i do wonder whether i am just reading ppl's opinions. cherry, sorry to hear u r having a rough time with sleep - we have so much less patience when tired. hope.u get some more sleep soon x

[cheesymonster]

Not patronising at all smorgs, good advice! My MIL is taking baby cheesy tomorrow morning for 3 hours so I'll have a break then. DH is on nights tonight but home at 8pm sunday for two days.

I hope you slept for 5 hours last night as well!

[Beccus]

woolybob, my bean can sleep 5 hrs as well, so was also hoping there is some self settling happening during sleep. it is certainly not happening before sleep. smorgs, glad u finally got a rest