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Brooking no argument for babies who sleep, eat, smile and behave perfectly at all times. Yeah right!

(1000 Posts)
scarletfingernail Wed 14-Nov-12 13:56:48

New thread, here we go...

musicalmrs Fri 23-Nov-12 12:29:02

Too, if Iz is any indication.. then crawling definitely doesn't help with sleep! The only thing I've heard from some people is that the first tooth sometimes does. Fellow brookers, any responses!?

Oh, Too, meant to say - how sweet with regard to the clapping!

Also, definitely ignore all the baby comparison bits. Iz can crawl (still requires a bit of thought before she does it each time!), but can't reliably sit on her own - she does for a bit, then thinks she'd prefer to stand and so straightens out, making her fly backwards. All a bit risky.

Also.. when Iz slept last night... I should have gone to bed, but instead devoured huge amounts of ice cream (feeling sorry for myself as DH wasn't around), tried to fix some stupid IT issue a client had that just annoyed me, and ended up googing stuff for ages. Ridiculously big to do list to tackle today. Iz is sleeping now - and of course I'm MN-ing rather than tackling anything from it...

BartletForTeamGB Fri 23-Nov-12 12:29:38

I had an episiotomy and, although it wasn't painful as much, I definitely noticed my scar for at least 6 months, if not longer. Hope the doctor can help.

Too, it is all a phase and it will all get better, I promise. I hope you can enjoy your cream cakes with a clear conscience. You deserve them!

RubberBullets Fri 23-Nov-12 13:52:15

SFF has happened twice so far and no pain or uncomfortableness. I tore but wasn't told to what degree.

N goes to sleep fine in the evening, she has started waking around midnight and then regularly during the night. DH is sleeping in the spare room and I end up cosleeping I'm too lazy to keep getting up in the night, it's easier to just roll over and flop the boob out She has 2 teeth.

No attempts to crawl yet, if I lie her on her front then she lifts her head up for a bit before screeching. She has stopped travelling around on her back, she just rolls over or spins on the spot. Only rolls one way, back to front via her left side. Can sit for quite a while but I have cushions all around as she does still fall back at some point. Likes standing when held but no attempt to pull herself to standing.

I'm still ebf as N simply isn't ready for food. We tried her with some mash last night and she just choked on it.

Biscuitsandtea Fri 23-Nov-12 13:56:01

Too M is the same age as E and they can do (and not do) all the same things, except E can't clap. And I'm perfect wink so you must be doing fine grin

Agree though - it is so annoying all the things people ask you about. The sensible bit of your brain knows that they all get there eventually but it is only since I've had ds1 actually GET there (despite being late sitting / walking etc) and be ifentical to his early walking early talking friends that I can confidently just sit back and watch ds2 do things in his own time.

I actually think it's a bit incredible how he STILL hasn't figured out crawling when he is so close (as in he is in the perfect crawling position, knees under him, one hand off the floor and all he needs to do is put that hand down forward, so he puts it down further back and flaps his legs out backwards and so still manages to go backwards! hmm But he'll get there. Crawling is irrelevant anyway as they all learn to walk.

You're doing a grand job too. I say so and I'm ALWAYS right. Fact.

DreamingOfPeace Fri 23-Nov-12 18:35:27


What biscuits says too. Your M does more than my boys and I couldn't be more PSB/PTB about them, they're such gorgeous smiley interactive little creatures . Even I can relax (when I'm being sane) and know they'll get there eventually as DD is. She fooled me by walking early but then progressing very slowly. I hate worrying about them, I know I'll look back and wonder why I was being ridiculous. If i feel ok in myself, have had some sleep etc. I can happily just admire and enjoy them being my little babies, but very tired makes me a lot bit mental. M sounds perfect to me smile

pommedechocolat Fri 23-Nov-12 18:36:54

dream - some sleep has utterly transformed my life. Sleep deprivation totally changes everything IMHO.

hawthers Fri 23-Nov-12 19:55:00

dream I'm afraid I agree with pomme and some sleep has made a world of difference to my parenting abilities and my relationship with DH. I also think that giving up bf was contributory to making f sleep better. BUT you have to be happy with the idea of giving up bf and it having no impact on sleeping I think. Otherwise you might regret the one way decision if it doesn't work.

Thank you, people. I need a bit of a kick to get my head on straight sometimes. I just had FIL last night saying that M needed grandpa to walk her around and help her get going hmm, DM this morning asking if M could wave yet and telling me that my stepdad was asking when she was going to grow some hair and DSis saying that she saw a baby M's age today who could crawl already and had two teeth. Not that I care about teeth - our families are all late with teeth; or hair, but it would be nice to be able to say 'yes, M is crawling, walking, hopping on one leg and reciting Shakespeare, thank you very much'! grin at Hawthers and the advice to lie! I think you're right, Pomme and Dream, and a bit of sleep would help me feel less despairing. wine is helping too, as advised by Biscuits last week. In fact, the wine is finished (why did I waste it on yesterday's stew when I could have drunk more today?) so I might have a rummage through the drinks cabinet and see what else is lurking in there. quashes urge to get smashed on whisky or vodka

Loopyhasanotherbean Fri 23-Nov-12 20:07:32

i don't in any way intend to rub this in, just offering another side to things. I EBF my DS1 and he slept through from 7 weeks exactly and still does now and he is 2. DS2 is also EBF, was 11 weeks old on Weds, and is also now sleeping through, with last night being his best night so far - he went into his crib at 10.06pm and didn't wake until 7.15am. So it isn't the case that you have to give up BF to get them to sleep well. Not that i'm saying that everyone should BF, as aware it's not for everyone, but just saying that BF doesn't mean you should have a non-sleeping baby, nor that FF will solve it either...IYSWIM?

Biscuitsandtea Fri 23-Nov-12 20:26:10

I get ya loopy smile

Ds1 slept through from about 13 weeks and he was ebf until 6 months and then bf morning and night until 9 mths. So he went to bed on a bf until 9 mths.

Ds2 sometimes sleeps through and sometimes doesn't and he's had the same bf service as ds1 (for now....)

DreamingOfPeace Fri 23-Nov-12 20:50:06

Yep, my DD was ebf, first slept 7-7 (or 6,30) at 10weeks 5 days, and slept through mostly from then.til 13 months and our Sleep Hell period but i.genuinely think that was uneasiness from her about my pregnancy- she knew something was happening /changing but not what. Boys officially only sip from beakers and wave them round and bash things with them, so realistically i can't see how I'd give them formula smile

DreamingOfPeace Fri 23-Nov-12 20:53:34

And too, comments like that are currently making me come out with nasty, sniping remarks which only make me look like a cow, just smile beautifically and swear at them in your head. I do wish my boys would crawl one day rather than go straight to walking, but they are nowhere near getting on hands and knees so I'll not hold my breath, and i keep telling myself its ridiculous to want them to crawl just to say yes when everyone asks rather than no, still no clapping/rolling round/crawling/ sleeping through/ doing anything else you'd care to ask me about <seethes>

Biscuitsandtea Fri 23-Nov-12 20:56:36

Hmmm yes, i can see how that would make it tricky! Will neither of the boys take a bottle?

Thanks Loopy. I don't want to give up bf just yet, but I also don't want to believe that things will never get better unless I do! I've been re-reading the No-Cry Sleep Solution again - those of you who bf to sleep, do you put the baby down 'awake but sleepy', or are they dead to the world before you move them?

We have a new plan for tonight - next time M wakes up DH is going to try to put her back down. Not sure how successful this will be, but we'll see! She's already been up once, only half an hour after going down. hmm DH is primed to try really hard and not give up at the first hurdle.

Biscuitsandtea Fri 23-Nov-12 21:04:31

Varies on the putting ds2 down thing Too. If he is dropping off to sleep I let him go (to sleep, not literally let him fall off my lap hmm) so then he'd be asleep before he goes down, but then other days he doesn't fall asleep so I guess it's more that I accidentally feed him to sleep sometimes rather than it being my stated strategy smile

DreamingOfPeace Fri 23-Nov-12 22:27:43

Mine never feed to sleep in the evening too, I put them down wide awake, but dead to the world fed to sleep in the night.

We went out for the day today as dh was off work. So the boys day went- up, milk feed, wriggle on my bed while I got dressed, highchairs, 30 min sitting on floor giggling at each other playing, car, pushchair for a walk, highchairs, car, pushchair round huge garden centre looking at twinkly lights, car home, 15 min on floor, highchairs for tea, sat in front of tv, bath, bed. This is typical of a day out. 45 min to wriggle/play shock So, why aren't they moving do you think?! <bloody awful mother emoticon>

B wasn't for entertaining anything today really but no, don't think either will. S definitely won't take a bottle.

DreamingOfPeace Fri 23-Nov-12 22:28:58

Oh, unless they won't feed to sleep, so then down awake with cd back on. That's usually B. S complains too loudly so gets picked up again and re-soothed.

jaggythistle Fri 23-Nov-12 22:47:14

mostly DS2 bfs to sleep too. if not he's probably overtired and needs a wee rock or shoogle.

he's fallen asleep on my knee by himself before and once or twice in his high chair, but because he's sharing with DS1 we've not really tried putting him down awake.

DS1 stopped falling asleep while bf temporarily at about 8 mo, i think we had to change things then with story after bf then bed with mobile playing tune. he started feeding to sleep again a few months later though!

have had a couple of glasses of wine and can hardly keep my eyes open. I'd really like to have a nice evening and chill with DH but I'm away to bed. i think he was a bit bored watching me dozing on the couch anyway. rubbish.

Sorry for the intermittant posting ladies, I've been spending every moment of DD sleep time xmas shopping for the last couple of days. Plus I had a dental emergency this week culminating in a painful morning today <sigh> Still at this point my teeth have been sorted (for now) and my xmas shopping is almost complete. Just DD & DH left, which should be much easier than the rest of my family because I don't have tight budgets for their gifts.

I've skim-read the last few days and I picked up a few things. Firstly, Dream I LOVE the "ferret on acid" comment, that made me laugh out loud! grin

Musical yay for Iz crawling! Very exciting! My DM swears little A also crawled forward for the first time today, just a couple of knee shuffles. Unfortunately I was out at my scary dentist appointment and DD wasn't willing to even attempt crawling in the afternoon when I got back. So I have yet to see it! However she I did see her first proper wave! She waved at her GD as he headed out this evening! It was so cute!

Hats off to all those working and getting up at night with non-sleeping babies, that includes DHs (especially with exams!). DD has been a bit of a nightmare with sleeping for weeks now. I've been getting her up for the day before 8 every morning, and she's been surprisingly willing to accept water-only bottles between 11pm and 6am, but neither change has made her sleep for longer stretches of time at night. She's now napping for about an hour when I put her down at 7, and then up from 8ish through to midnight-ish! Sob sob. She's like a duracell bunny!

To be fair though, she is teething, her second tooth just broke the surface. Plus she's been really getting into her food this week! Maybe it'll all come together next week? Maybe the teething will take a break, and the early mornings/no night feeding will eventually convince her to sleep more than 2 hours in a row?! I desperately hope so because I'm going slightly loopy!

Hawthers I was v excited with what you wrote about your job! I also have a taxing job (code: cta ias) and I also work for the biggest firm! I'm now wondering if we work in the same building?!?! On the riverfront?

I'm very sorry, because I know this is a stupidly long post, but I just wanted to mention one last thing. We had the sign up meeting at DD's new nursery today, and even though the staff were lovely and the kids were lovely and the settling in plan was lovely, as I left the nursery I just burst into tears! I cried all the way home. I just can't imagine leaving DD in a house full of people she doesn't know, people who are responsible for SO MANY kids all at once. I'm all confused now, it's a great nursery but I feel like maybe I'm being selfish sending her to nursery early just so I can get the days that are convenient for me work-wise. Maybe I should be prioritising DD's needs over mine, I shouldn't let her start nursery until she's 1 and I can go back to work gradually - my firm is generally really flexible with returning Mums. I just can't imagine leaving her there! <somebody please slap me with a wet fish for being so irritatingly PFB>

Apologies for the mammoth post!

hawthers Sat 24-Nov-12 07:10:35

scream have sent you a pm!

Re nursery I cried dropping DS1 off every time for quite a while but they do settle in so much more quickly than we get used to leaving them iyswim. It sounds like you know she will be fine and I don't think you are being selfish and prioritising your needs over hers its just tricky heading back to work. DS1b loved the social side of nursery. But you have to do what you are comfortablep with

Oooo I've responded to Hawthers pm and Biscuits' FB msg! Very exciting ladies! [saddo who likes talking about work emoticon]

Thanks for the nursery support Hawthers, I really appreciate it. I didn't imagine it would be this hard! Also, I know it's AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEESSSSSSSS ago now, but I've been meaning to thank Dream for her kind comments about guilt at the end of bfing. She mentioned feeling guilty when her DD got a cold after she stopped bfing at 15 months, when she was already pg with the gorgeous BBBBs, and it really helped me to realise even the most super of super mums feels guilty whenever bfing ends!!

Biscuitsandtea Sat 24-Nov-12 10:08:12

Oh yes I meant to say about nursery - it is way harder than you'd think. I cried every time I dropped ds1 off for several weeks sad. You have to be really quick and just hand them over to the nursery staff. You'll still cry but they just get more upset if you draw it out or cuddle then more etc iyswim because you still have to part with them eventually, even though your instinct is that you would love to make them happy and smiley and hand then over that way. The nursery staff are really good at that sort of thing and should know to take them off you and let you make a quick exit. I used to have to dive around the corner from the door so ds1 didn't see me crying blush. I know it sounds mean but a quick handover is honestly easier for the dc. And the nursery staff will look after them.

And anyway, some kids just love nursery from day 1 - maybe A will be like that xx

And yyy to guilt giving up bf. I am feeling guilty now for wanting to stop sad. I feel like the reasons are mine (and kind of for ds1 - I hate having to send him away so as to not distract ds2) but I wish ds2 would have just conveniently started refusing the boob iyswim sad

pommedechocolat Sat 24-Nov-12 14:24:19

scream - I honestly think the slow and steady easing in approach is the best, so fwiw I think you're doing the right thing. Both mine have started at 7 months 1 day a week as I needed to start doing bits of work quite early on and it's been a good way for everyone to get used to it both times.

Maybe on the bf/sleep thing it's the night feeding? I think maybe two nights in A realised she was only getting the bottle at night not boob (and was obv feeding for comfort not hunger in the night then I guess) so gave up and started sleeping??? <touching wood manically that it doesnt all go tits up now>

So (too if you want to stay bf but get some sleep I think your dh plan might be a good one. Good luck.

Dh is at the Nelgand rugby today on a coorporate do with my dad and brother. Lucky git! I braved an xmas fair with pottery painting at a local NT house place with a friend. manic does not even describe it. Lunch in a ridiculously busy cafe with two toddlers and a baby was [shocked]!

Scream, our nursery forms arrived in the post this morning - eek! M's first settling-in session is 11 Dec. I have had a long form to fill out with questions about her personality, likes and dislikes, toilet habits, food, milk/bottles, naps etc. I'm scared! But reassured that they take the whole thing very seriously and want lots of information about her. Is it wrong that next to 'what are my favourite toys?' I wrote 'the phone, the remote control, the dog, mummy's hair...' It's true! I forgot to put 'packets of baby wipes' - she loves the noise they make and if I forget to shut them, then she loves pulling all the wipes out and making a giant mess.

They also sent a form for ChildSmile, a toothbrushing programme. At what point am I supposed to register her with a dentist? It says in the form that I'm supposed to, but she hasn't got any teeth yet. I'd feel stupid. When do I make a first dentist appt for her? When she has all her teeth, or just some?

So, the DH-settling-M plan lasted precisely 15 minutes. She was calm but awake when he held her, but howled as soon as he laid her down. New plan required...

PetWoman Sat 24-Nov-12 15:26:34

Mmmm. Baileys.

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