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Dashing through the snow... One escaped early, which December baby is next?

(996 Posts)
HoneyMum21 Tue 13-Nov-12 22:13:58

Getting the thread ready when all the Christmas puddings start making appearances...

Secondsop Fri 07-Dec-12 20:30:32

spotty I have everything crossed for you.

So, I was back in hospital on Tuesday with high blood pressure (Zach was with me). After an utterly miserable couple of days in the hospital I was let out last night at 11.15pm on the basis that I'd have daily bp checks including a visit from the community midwives today. But they haven't come. I really don't want to take myself to the labour ward tonight of my own volition because all they'll do is monitor me on the existing medication and i can quite happily stay at home till tomorrow if no changes will be made to my care tonight. I'm sure spending time in hospital wouldnt help my bp one bit. Yesterday I got really worried and frightened at what it was doing to my mental health and the thoughts that were crossing my mind, and a lovely friend had to ring me to talk me down from completely freaking out. I feel like I'm really struggling. My husband is being amazing and so supportive and he loves the baby so much, but I feel like I'm a complete wreck who is failing to cope. I can't understand why I feel this way. We have a beautiful, perfect baby that we wanted so badly, but why am I so weepy, and why do I sometimes feel so disengaged from him?

Honeycantthinkofanxmasnickname Fri 07-Dec-12 20:56:44

Oh seconds sorry you're feeling so down. How many days is it since you had Zach? It is really tough- no matter how much the baby is wanted and how well behaved they are. Plus with all the extra stress you're facing its no suprise you're feeling low. I know (from experience ) how quickly some people will jump on pnd but feeling down doesn't mean that's what it is and even if it did come to that it can be dealt with. At the moment take one day at a time and talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling - whether it's a dr, midwife or nurse. As long as it took me to believe it they actually do want to help and won't judge you but they will l ow how to help. PM me if I can help at all

PurplePidjChickIsNotTheMessiah Fri 07-Dec-12 20:59:41

Seconds, is your milk coming in? Your hormones have been seriously fucked around by growing an entire new member of the species. Talk to your dh, and tell your mw how you feel in case of pnd.

As long as both you and baby are healthy nd thriving, you're doing a brilliant job. The simple fact that you're worried about this makes you a fantastic mummy brew

WeeJo08 Fri 07-Dec-12 22:19:22

Secondsop I completely agree with what everyone's said and would also add I think you are coping amazingly well. I was in tears for basically all of Wednesday and I don't have to cope with the added stress of high BP & a stay in hospital! Your worrying is totally natural, but Zach is doing brilliantly & you love him so much...which is exactly (and all!) he wants. thanks

Be gentle on yourself x

Secondsop Fri 07-Dec-12 23:14:07

honey pidge weejo thank you for your posts. Zach was born 8 days ago. Yes my milk is coming in. It is really reassuring to be told that auch feelings are not abnormal and also your suggestions about talking to someone. i've not reallly hit it off with the community midwife but will see how I feel at the next visit. failing that i've got an appointment with my gp next week.

As well as the general hormones effect, i'm sure it's the blood pressure business that is really contributing to me being off whack because I didn't feel anything like this bad before I had to stay in hospital again. It was that hospital stay that really left me feeling truly despondent. I just don't see how I would possibly cope with another stay especially looking after the baby in there too - I don't want to be separated from him but the stress of looking after a whole other human by myself (even though my husband spent every hour there with me that he could) was awful. If they try to make me go back I'll say this to them - my mental health is surely an aspect of my care that they have to consider isn't it?

SeymoreInOz Sat 08-Dec-12 05:08:51

seconds I hope you can avoid another hospital stay. It's hard enough adjusting to a newborn in the comfort of your own home with DH on hand!

I had a major case of the baby blues on day 4 and thought I was ok yesterday until I snapped at DH and then spent the night blubbing! I'm on DC3 now but because of the big gap it feels like DC1 all over again. I remember reading something in the Practicing Midwife that really summed it up. First time mums go through a major life change, from a known self in a known world, to an unknown self in an unknown world. You literally grieve for your old life and the old you, and that's normal! It gets better of course, but it would have helped me to expect those feelings the first time around.

We've had a few firsts now. DS slept in his cradle (whoop) and the unmbilical clamp has gone. DH tried some skin to skin with DS, with his ear over his heart. DS looked so happy remembering his time on the inside!

pidj I hope the champers went down well! I'm having some tonight! grin

SpottyTeacakes Sat 08-Dec-12 06:35:42

seconds sorry you're feeling so crap. Agree with everyone else though (not sure I can add to it). Being in hospital is horrendous with a newborn it's such hard work and the small things like not having your own bathroom/kitchen/bed make it even worse. Definitely tell a mw or dr how you're feeling as the stress won't be helping. Maybe ask them their plan if your bp doesn't go down so you know what to expect thanks

Bellaboo123 Sat 08-Dec-12 07:07:56

Keep you're chin up seconds you're doing great and I echo what everyone else has said- talk if you need to but make the hospital aware too. They may be able to work something out for you.
If it makes you feel better i was a teary emotional wreck yesterday, poor DP couldn't do anything right

RarelyUnreasonable Sat 08-Dec-12 08:18:34

Virtual tea, coffee, wine, flowers and presents to seconds. I bet once you're away from hospital, things will start to feel better. Take things a day, or even an hour, at a time. This too shall pass!

spotty hope baby gets home soon!

pidg I added prosecco to the breastfeeding mix yesterday. Made a glass last all afternoon but was v reassured to read the advice here.

Have a good weekend all. DM arrives today as DH back to work soon and I'm trying to do as little as possible post-section. Feel like a bad mummy to toddler dd as cant lift her and am always feeding baby, but she's getting lots of attention elsewhere and I guess she won't remember these weeks soon...

MaMaPo Sat 08-Dec-12 08:22:25

Hello all - I just survived my first night at home and my baby is ok! And I got more sleep than I had since the birth at midnight wed! Feeling a bit smug. Baby is now fast asleep on husband's bare chest - he snores, she snuffles I worry that her last feed ended 3 hours ago shouldn't I be doing this again!?! .

My back is killing me. Stupid incision in my abdominal muscles.

Everyone sounds like they're doing marvellously. Well done to everyone solving the challenges of bfing.

Now - time to remember the whole 'sleep when baby sleeps' thing and try for a nap.

MaMaPo Sat 08-Dec-12 08:25:35

Sorry - Meant to make special mention to Seconds - it sounds like you've been dealt a rough hand but are managing as well as can be expected. I echo everyone else, though, about talking things over with someone/anyone. Everyone is on your side. Good luck and be kind to yourself.

SpottyTeacakes Sat 08-Dec-12 08:26:39

mamapo I know ds is in special care so it's a bit different but they say not to let them go more than five hours smile

MaMaPo Sat 08-Dec-12 09:07:41

Thanks Spotty! I hope things are progressing well for your little family.

SpottyTeacakes Sat 08-Dec-12 09:27:37

We might be allowed home tomorrow! grin

Bellaboo123 Sat 08-Dec-12 09:46:04

Yay spotty keeping fingers crossed!

I had a glass of red yesterday and it was yummy!!! grin

Honeycantthinkofanxmasnickname Sat 08-Dec-12 10:12:21

Yay spotty. Fingers crossed.

SeymoreInOz Sat 08-Dec-12 22:50:00

Spotty I've got everything crossed for you!

I chickened out of a glass of champers in the end because DS is still co-sleeping all night. He has been doing daytime naps in the cradle but can't seem to settle in it at night. I've been using rolled up blankets to make him feel more snug in the cradle during the day, but I daren't leave them in there at night. Think I'll ask the midwife about it on Monday.

Erm...hello everyone. Checking in with my ds2, Ethan Timothy. Born at 10.40pm on 8th dec 2012.

MaMaPo Sun 09-Dec-12 02:17:57

Congrats Stacey!

So my smugness from last night is coming back to bite me - C wont go down at all. Have been feeding more or less constantly since 10pm and she fed hourly for most the day with 2 3 hr stretches of sleep. Is this related to my milk coming in? I feel a bit wretched.

Secondsop Sun 09-Dec-12 02:38:09

Congratulations stacey!

EggNogMichelle Sun 09-Dec-12 03:02:22

Congratulations Stacey! Excellent news Spotty, fingers crossed for Felix!

We are also still struggling to settle him down, DH woke me at 2 to feed him, as he was screaming, refused to latch on, and eventual stopped screaming after 30min of cuddling and is now sleeping on my chest, but no clue why he was screaming. These babies are far more complicated than eating/pooing machines!

Bellaboo123 Sun 09-Dec-12 03:16:06

Congrats stacey that seemed quick? winethanks

Bellaboo123 Sun 09-Dec-12 03:18:50

eggnog and mama I had a night like that a few days ago...10-4 feeding what felt like continuously. Seemed to be a blip and was in more of a pattern from then on fx same applies for you both smile

bella it was indeed, 3 hrs 10 minutes from first pain to him being born! shock

SpottyTeacakes Sun 09-Dec-12 03:39:08

We are having settling problems too! We're in the rooming in room tonight so just Felix and I. He's only just settled after his 2am feed after lots of fussing, a poo, more fussing, sucking on my finger, finally taking the dummy. Have to feed him again at six at the latest so best get to sleep!

Looking forward to your birth story Stacey grin

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