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October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

(1000 Posts)
YompingJo Tue 13-Nov-12 05:20:10

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning <hopeful face>

lisbethsopposite Sat 08-Dec-12 01:17:34

lisbethsopposite Sat 08-Dec-12 01:03:49

Wanted to put a picture in there but failed. Trying to copy Squid.
Mega sympathy to Elpis Zara & Mickey.
Zara I love BF and like Elpis I shut up in case I sound too forceful. Lots of good advice already given so i won't repeat . I empathise and cried when Ds1 weaned at 13months.
Mickey don't even think of him as your father. A sperm donor is not a father and that seems to be all he did. He wants to 'get to know you' - f... off. That is laughable.

lisbethsopposite Sat 08-Dec-12 00:06:45


Beccus Fri 07-Dec-12 23:42:18

zara, i must begin by saying i really know nothing about relactating, but you may feel better if you do give it a try again, just so u know u gave it another shot, regardless of the outcome. you had such a rough time at the end of your pregnancy, such horrific labor complications and so little b/f support at the time, whereas now u have recovered somewhat and r relaxed in warm sunny nz with lovely f.i.l. thank u as well for giving those of us who r b/f the opportunity to reflect, feel gratitude and appreciate being lucky enough to have only had minor probs/the support to enable us to b/f. i certainly appreciate it more now, thx to your posts. cheesy, that's great your gp has referred u for counselling & prescribed u a/d. pnd is just like a condition like diabetes - there is a chemical imbalance and a/d will kickstart getting the balance back again, as will counselling. u just gotta hang in there the 3 weeks or so they will take to kick in and to start your counselling. livvy, cannot believe u r able to support so many of us on here when u have been feeling so down yourself. u r v. big hearted, hope it's also an indication u r feeling a little better. londonmrs and elpis, cannot believe the comments made by your dp's! elpis, can kinda forgive yours as he is going through a rough time with work, but londonmrs, did he not have pat leave?? surely he must know how relentless it is!! i would be furious and in tears too! wooly, forgot to say we have also dropped a percentile & r being watched closely! it's a bit stressful, but u r sounding more chilled now there is a plan in place.
so confused re sleep, baby whisperer says baby needs training to sleep therefore shoukd be put in cot awake, and all sorts if bad habits will develop if u dont, but womanly art of breast feeding says it's fine to b/f baby to sleep...tried to put baby beccus in cot awake- she is not having a bar of it! what r other people doing/other's experience of self settling? we r 6 weeks on sunday. thx

YompingJo Fri 07-Dec-12 23:09:17

haven't caught up properly but wanted to say to cheesy that if you are not sure about prozac (which I can understand), St John's Wort has been found to be a natural alternative. Also the book 'Potatoes Not Prozac is an interesting read. Finally, I have been trying to prioritise a bit of exercise and it is making me feel much better. hugs to you.

OctoberOctober Fri 07-Dec-12 22:41:36

Bean has been ok today after the squashing incident yestweday, thanks for your messages. Dp had day off but both of us exhausted after yesterdays antics so we just took bean off to baby cinema locally rather than London extravaganza. Love baby cinema.

Have survived putting 2 kids to bed tonight and tesco delivery whilst dp out on the tiles tonight.

MickeyTheShortOne Fri 07-Dec-12 22:34:39

Elpis, Mine was feeding in a pattern but the last two days thats gone to pot! A four hour wait, then 15 mins, then an hour, then half hour.. it's getting boring trying to predict when the next one might be!! hoping its not soon though my poor boobs need a break

huffle giggling at the image of baby feeding upside down with legs akimbo.. haha ahaha!

Thankyou for the advice Londonmrss and huffle, I'm still not sure if its a blocked duct or if it was my bra just rubbing in the wrong place in bed- I never used to wear bras in bed because its so uncomfortable, but i don't really have a choice now!!

Elpis Fri 07-Dec-12 22:16:16

hufflepuffle For both my DCs, early feeding cues have been

Moving head from side to side (rooting)
Munching on fist
Opening and closing mouth
Clenching fists

I guess some babies feed every x hours, but neither of mine show much of a pattern!

Elpis Fri 07-Dec-12 22:10:01

londonlivvy Can you have carrot cake with sunflower oil instead of butter? IMO eggs don't count as dairy. Nigella has a recipe for chocolate cake with olive oil in her latest book - haven't tried it yet.

cheesymonster Fri 07-Dec-12 20:13:30

smorgs my HV said there used to be a new mum's group but they stopped it because of low demand! But I make sure I go out every day, meet people for lunch or have visitors when I can which really helps. All my friends are at work during the day though but as long as I get out of the house that seems to help.

huffle thank you for the advice. The GP has just given me two months supply and I'm hoping I won't need to take it for too long. I've never been on ADs before and I was a little taken aback and a bit scared that they offered them so readily - maybe I'm worse than I thought! I do put a front on all the time, always have.

mickey yes the HV has referred me for counselling but there's a waiting list, she didn't say how long though.

So sad that I'm feeling this way. I do have good days and I have felt brighter this week but I feel like I should be enjoying my baby and mat leave so much more. I really did not know how hard it would be! But so glad this thread and all you lovely ladies are here so thanks

londonlivvy Fri 07-Dec-12 19:54:19

Oh smorgs you made me howl with laughter re the ribbon in your hair. DF is slightly more aware of what goes into my daily routine. After one day working from home whilst I got on with my daily routine, he said "it's pretty relentless, isn't it? When you're not feeding her you're hanging out washing, tidying up, or sterilising." I don't think it had dawned on him til then.

Well the doc suggested a dairy free diet for me, so we are trying this for two weeks. no cake. Boo! And no cheese. Still, if it stops the screamathon and misery in DD, it will be worth it.

Right. Off to bed with me. DF should actually be home tomorrow and doing family stuff!

Beeblebear Fri 07-Dec-12 19:43:24

Ok, big mommy guilt moment..

Last night at in laws. Mil and i went out tothe store and left ds with the boys. It wasn't until we got back that i realized that i had not thought about ds once during our outing. I was more concerned about making it back in time to catch the new episode of the big bang theory.

We got back and Ds was howling frantically. [bad mummy rmoticon] we were only gone for an hour but he was starving despite me feeding him right before we left.

hufflepuffle Fri 07-Dec-12 19:05:16

Mickey one more tip on the sore bit. BF coordinator advised if possible position baby's chin over sore part, chin movement can massage blocked duct!! However......... Might involve some interesting manoeuvres! My sore bit was above nipple towards other boob so unless baby can feed upside down with legs draped on top of head, that ain't happening!!

MickeyTheShortOne Fri 07-Dec-12 18:37:40

what has happened to my self settling, angel baby? she seems to have been replaced with a velcro feeding machine today...

Beeblebear Fri 07-Dec-12 17:21:48

Ok, big mommy guilt moment..

Last night at in laws. Mil and i went out tothe store and left ds with the boys. It wasn't until we got back that i realized that i had not thought about ds once during our outing. I was more concerned about making it back in time to catch the new episode of the big bang theory.

We got back and Ds was howling frantically. [bad mummy rmoticon] we were only gone for an hour but he was starving despite me feeding him right before we left.

Smorgs Fri 07-Dec-12 17:06:09

Yup that's us today too. He has had just 4 hrs proper sleep in last 24 hrs, fed loads, thrown it all up and cried inconsolably. Toughest day by far.
Huffle - I never feed before he starts crying or coughing for it, didn't know we were meant to do different?

Londonmrss Fri 07-Dec-12 16:39:00

that's pretty much what it feels like mickey. can you feel a hard lump or can you see that it's red and inflamed? is it really really super painful?
ok, I had the same the other week. do you have a breast pump? you need to completely empty your boob. either express pure just fed from that boob while massaging the store part towards the nipple with your knuckle. it hurts but do it quite hard. make sue it is completely empty. then just try to keep it as empty as possible for the next day or so by expressing regularly and it will heal quickly. hot bath and hot wheat pack helps too. try to rest and drink plenty of water.
well that's what helped me anyway! that's pretty much the lll advice.

tough day here. babyLondon wants to feed for 5 mins, sleep for 20 minutes, wake up and start to cry then feed for 5 mins again. this has been our schedule all day. she is 6 weeks today. it's this the 6 week growth spurt? didn't expect her to be so sleepy and grumpy and feed in such small amounts.

hufflepuffle Fri 07-Dec-12 16:35:10

Aww mickey that sucks. My town is v v v hilly and know it will not be long til I am housebound too. Sorry about the colds. Does Pips have blocked nose? Do u use saline drops? I only ask cos I only discovered that from another mum on here! Hope u both feel better soon. And your poor wee dog..... Awwww

Can I ask how everyone gets on with demand feeding, reading cues and feeding before baby cries??? Am I crap?? Cries nearly every time!! Yes, he does stick tongue out and eat hands but does that loads anyhow!! Even when he cries I hav to check the app to see when last fed and touch his cheek to see if he roots......

MickeyTheShortOne Fri 07-Dec-12 16:23:04

oh and ladies, what does a blocked duct feel like? first timer the underneath of my right boob is agony sad

Londonmrss Fri 07-Dec-12 16:17:51

no worries smorg, glad to hear it!

MickeyTheShortOne Fri 07-Dec-12 16:17:47

hufflepuffle jealous of you being able to get out... its so cold here and starting to ice up- i live on a very steep hill and im a bit worried about taking pip AND the dog... and i feel like shit today. poorly :-( pip woke up every single hour last niggt and she's got a cold so she feels poorly too. feel so sorry for my poor dog- she keeps giving me her puppy eyes as if to say "why arent we going out today mum?" full time occupation trying to please these two. cant wait for dp to come home from work today!
cheesy glad you are getting some help. have they offered counselling as well?

hufflepuffle Fri 07-Dec-12 15:49:08

Lol Wooly round in circles.........! Mental image hilarity alert!!!

Smorgs that is fab about pump!!! Not envy at all!!! Promise! sad

Cheesy that is good to hear you are being understood and well taken care of. You should be back on track soon!! Please please do not be annoyed by advice I am about to give but I feel this is not v well known. Prozac/ fluoxetine is fantastic at doing what it needs to do. No doubt. I have a very close friend who took it for quite a while but really struggled to stop. That was until she saw another GP who prescribed the liquid version and thus she was able to slowly but continually reduce the dose. Apparently this is not widely known or widely done from what she heard and was v annoyed she was not given opportunity to reduce earlier. Now I am not a doctor, just a regular person, I may well be wrong.

Sorry if my advice or timing is misplaced. At some stage in the future hopefully it will be relevant.

Have been out for big long walk, brought DH in to work (they so do better without me there, might just retire....... grin) Fed him, changed babygro filling poopy nappy and marched home to keep warm! Lovely to get out and see people!! And great to let ladies in work hold him to give my arms a rest!!! He was an angel. Note to self: must get out more often!

Smorgs Fri 07-Dec-12 14:55:27

londonmrss massive thank you for your tip - called the midwives at the clinic who said I just have to get a prescription for an electric pump and I can borrow it FOR FREE for as long as I need and they will come to your house to deliver and teach you how to use it! Bloody love France sometimes

Smorgs Fri 07-Dec-12 13:22:04

cheesy you poor thing I really feel for you but glad you're getting help from the docs. Did they offer advice about the social side of things? I was very nervous about not finding any mums to talk to out here (I'm in France) but found one small mum and baby group and from there have come across loads of other things going on. Also since moving here I've realised that you need to be quite persistent in making new friends - sometimes it's not enough to just show up at the groups, they often get dominated by one or two loud extroverts anyway, you have to follow up by eg saying at the end 'I'm free Thursday if anyone fancies meeting up for coffee, a walk, museum' etc. and also make the effort to get phone numbers/emails/Facebook. This does not come naturally to me as I'm always afraid of looking like a stalker (!) but I realised I never thought that about anyone who contacted me so why don't I do the same?

Anyway, not sure if this helps me wittering on (and one handed typing on iPhone while bouncing on Swiss ball) but keep chatting on here to help too brew

Woolybob Fri 07-Dec-12 12:31:00

My goodness - what a traumatic 24 hours, epilis + october hope beans are ok.

zara your posts make me sad . Totally sympathise but important thing is you are looking after bean and making them big and strong by whatever means necessary. Don't know if this helps but when bf lady came to visit and we were discussing supplementing dd she suggested to hold bottle under my arm parallel to boob - would this work for you? Could be a way of getting the skin to skin and closeness of bf position without the frustration?

huffle was looking up one sided feeding this as dd started refusing left boob this am. According to kellymom perfectly possible (which would make sense or how would you feed twins?) but yes does result in lopsidedness so you might end up walking in circles...

We are doing ok, have started giving one bottle of formula a night and have appointment with paeds Monday am so will see what they say.

Sorry to hear about all the nobberish other halves, DH made one of his hilarious 'jokes' about how few thank you cards I'd written last w/e and I shoved dd at him and suggested he have a go making lunch one handed, of course when I went in the kitchen she was happily cooing away in her bouncy chair while he microwaved soup. Got the last laugh thou, just as we sat down to eat she did one of her trademark baby gro filling pops. Don't think he dared ask me to take care of it...grin

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