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Dec 08 Mums - Onwards and bloody well upwards!

(996 Posts)
Beans36 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:17:44

How's this? Thought I'd just press on with it!

DeidreBarlow Tue 20-Nov-12 16:33:32

kayz I hope the extra feeding works for you.

RT I bet you still look lovely even with your 'popped' out bump. When I had DD I was still in size 12 clothes at 28 weeks. With DS I was in maternity clothes by 12 weeks!grin

So today DS was 'observed' by the Inclusion Officerhmm. Actually, I do feel a bit better about everything but I am still very hmm about some things. In a nutshell, DS is a lovely little boy, very good at lots of things, and is exactly where they would expect him to be at this stage EXCEPT for his temper and reluctance to share. They said he a small group of friends who he plays well with but if they aren't there or someone different wants to join in then DS is not amused and will physically (ie a shove most of the time) get the other child out of the way or get his own way. They are going to spend more one-to-one time with DS helping him express his emotions, anger, frustration etc. Talking about said feelings and hopefully before he starts school help him to get past those feelings. They were keen to point out the positives and said that DS may well be one of those people who only wants a small group of friends but that he has to learn to tolerate everyone. Which is fair enough. I'm just not convinced how easy it is going to be getting a stubborn '4' (I can say that now as he is on Saturday) year old boy to discuss his thoughts/feelings!

I am also getting a book that DS will bring home each day so that rather than them having to tell me his daily misdemeanors I get it written down. If he has had a good day I will simply get a smiley face in the book, which I can then show DS and praise him. Because DS tells me every time he has been good, and I find myself grilling him for the truth which is very unfair on him.

So we will see how he gets on. I feel like I've had so many negatives thrown at me about my boy I have been finding it really hard to see his positives. So it was rather lovely to hear some for a change.

DeidreBarlow Tue 20-Nov-12 16:35:12

X-Posts with beans. Indith you clever woman, I'm loving the monster search idea!

VagolaJahooli Tue 20-Nov-12 22:37:38

So sleepy but thought I would pop on very quickly as I haven't for a few days. I've been finishing off my application for a distance education Masters in International Health management, finally uploaded my last document to my online application today. It is a supporting document explaining why they should enrol me, even though I am no longer registered anywhere and haven't worked as a nurse for 6 years. Oh well we'll see.

Beans, Indith monster search is of course perfect, but something that worked with Ds1 was 'monster spray' it's basically water with bit of lavender oil in it. The idea is that it's a monster repellent and you spray it around her room before bedtime. As it has lavender oil in it, it helps to calm her.

DHs brothers & mum are in NYC for new years and they want us to go over. But it is tres expensive for a long weekend trip. So I've agreed he should go, IF I can go visit my mate in LA, with the boys (her DS1 is my DS1s old mate from back in London ) during DS1s school holidays in February. It will not be good for our bank account but hey ho, have been wanting to see her for a while & accommodation is free. I'm a but hmm that his family think we can spend a large amount of money and time on planes coming over to see them when they couldnt even drive the 1hr from Brisbane to the gold coast to see us. But oh well I'll take the trip to LA any day.

VagolaJahooli Tue 20-Nov-12 22:39:14

Oh & beans your description of your dad's memorial was lovely.

Kayz no advice, my two never liked formula, but sympathy for the sleepless nights and ready to big you up, you are doing superbly.

McKayz Wed 21-Nov-12 10:31:20

LA sounds fab Vag!! I really hope you get to do your Masters.

I don't know if last night was better or not. She only woke twice for food. But she woke about 3 times. She just cried a little and went back to sleep. But it was enough to wake me.

Also it is really hard to feed her when she doesn't want to be fed. So the feeding extra isn't easy.

urbanewarrior Wed 21-Nov-12 10:35:22

Hello all. Sorry for long absence, but I feel inspired by turnip to come back at least to wave. I haven't really even been lurking recently. Although I am still absolutely enamoured with our life with 3 what's clear now I'm back at work is that the microscopic time I had to myself has all but disappeared. Would probably be ok, but DH works for the B B C so has been just a bit busy, and I have returned to work just in time for all sorts of stuff to kick off. Fun. But DD2 is still a heaven-sent delight. RT am sorry to hear that you've had such a tough start to your pregnancy. You have had some excellent advice. All I would say is that don't forget how difficult that early bit of pregnancy is anyway when your hormones are all over the shop. Not surprising you feel bad. Hang in there and hug your girls.

And beans - how well you have handled everything since your Dad died - I'm sure he would have been really proud of you. The memorial service sounds beautiful. and so many people. He must have been much loved.

We are house of ill at the moment - DS is on day 5 of tonsilitis and looks like DD1 is coming down with it just in time for her birthday. am absolutely wracked with guilt as looks like there will be huge clash between thing at work and her actual birthday so I might not be home for her birthday tea. a new low sad. But in better news I am thinking of having a bit of time at home when our nanny leaves next year (she is going to train as a teacher). Am just acutely conscious of how precious all this time is <sap> and work is basically fairly uninspiring.

Vag good for you for applying - sounds great. And spot best of luck with jobs - I have been really enjoying your blog. kayz we got both dds to take a bottle after bfeeding fairly easily - i can't remember how though. never worked with ds though. will ask dh and try and post something sensible.

Anyway given I am basically glued to blackberry most of the time at the moment I should probably go and spend some actual time with the DCs rather than yabber on to you. Love to all. Will check on meet up thread. xx

Indith Wed 21-Nov-12 10:37:53

There are no words to describe how utterly shite last night was. I'm off upstairs to deal with the resulting mess now that ds2 is awake again. I shall be back providing I make it out alive.

McKayz Thu 22-Nov-12 08:02:10

How was last night Indith?

Indith Thu 22-Nov-12 08:12:46

I got a whole 40 minutes at once at one point. A whole 40 minutes! I feel positively refreshed. At least I didn't have to strip the bed with one hand while holding screaming baby int eh other after he had thrown up all over it. That was the joy of Tuesday night. Tuesday night I was heading to bed with ds2 who then woke up and started screaming and didn't stop for around an hour and a half, during that time he threw up. I got him off in the sling a couple of times but he woke when I stopped walking around. Then finally he stopped screaming but was wide awake happy so we snuggled in the living room and watched TV til around 1am when he fed to sleep. At least it meant I wasn't woken up at midnight when ds1 had a bad dream grin. So 1am bed, 4 rather broken hours of dozing sleep later dd woke up and did her thing where she can't get back to sleep so she shouts. I go up, sort her out, 10 mins later she starts again. It was wonderful I tell you.

All is forgiven though because of the absolute cuteness of last night when she yelled out in her sleep so I went up, she was flinging herself around going "I want cake!" then I soothed her, she opened her eyes and goes "Mummy! I had a dream where I wanted cake!" grin. I love my girl.

There is a slight possibility that some drastic action is needed on the sleep front. I need to drive a car today and I really don't think it is a very good idea.....

spotofcheerfulness Thu 22-Nov-12 15:45:48

Sorry for the sleep nightmare, Indith, and loved the cake dream chat grin. I can but sympathise. On the ONE night B sleeps through in weeks, T is up every hour coughing his little guts up.

Is there anything that can be done for a really bad cough? I seem to remember general consensus is just fluids, rest and time, but if anyone has recommendations for medicines they would be gratefully received.

Was lovely to meet Deids and her DCs on Monday. Her DS played beautifully with my two, so the nursery story is but one take on it. How do you feel about the inclusion officer's comments? Are the nursery planning on doing anything different as a result?

Hi Turnip! And Urbane! Sorry to hear about your house of ill sad. Tis truly the season. Your plans for more home time next year sound good - are you hoping to negotiate fewer hours or leave altogether?

I just did a very undignified vom in the street. I had a really hard hot yoga class so am hoping it's just my body showing how out of shape it is rather than some vomming bug.

JamInMyWellies Thu 22-Nov-12 21:39:41

Hows DS2 Indith?

VagolaJahooli Fri 23-Nov-12 07:55:52

Gosh Indith you poor thing, spew, on top of a chronic sleep shortage is just too hard. Thinking of you.

Speaking of spew, a public ralph Spot, classy. We had a friend come over to visit and she was feeling a bit seedy after some dodgy cheese. She & her hubby went for a walk on the beach & the mood took her let the dodgy cheese out, so the best she could do was dig a little hole. Poor thing she was mortified. Luckily the beach wasn't too busy.

Poor DS1 has some mysterious stomach pain. I think it's a bit low for appendicitis & he is not in enough pain. I thought it was constipation but I gave him some prune juice and everything is moving a little faster than it was so apart from muscle strain I can't think what it might be.

DS2 is starting school in 3 weeks & I'm starting to panic, I'm losing my little man. I know I can keep him home a day or so a week but it's not the same as him being wIth me all the time (except Tuesday & Friday morning). He's my little mate, he's going to be doing stuff I won't see. Will be holding him extra tight now. He's at nursery this morning and I miss him already.

Hi Turnip & Urbane, how is Urbaneboy? He is such a sweetie, I bet he loves being the big brother.

DS2 is starting school in

Beans36 Fri 23-Nov-12 07:57:37

Spot, are you ok?

McKayz Fri 23-Nov-12 09:37:00

Indith, I hope last night was better for you.

Spot, how are you now? I hope it isn't a bug you're getting.

Vag, I think I'd be dreadful with DS2 if I didn't have DD. I hated him going to playschool, even though he loved it.

I had an awful night last night. DD was up most of the night. But she hardly wanted to be fed. Just to sit and laugh and chat away at me. We saw every hour between 12 and 6. I spent a good hour of that crying as every time I nodded off she was up.sad It is a good thing she is cute.

VagolaJahooli Fri 23-Nov-12 11:15:14

Oh goodness Kayz you poor thing. I was really lucky, though the boys definitely would wake several times overnight, they never stayed awake long (just long enough to be sure we were both well & truly awake). Wish I could come over & hold her for an hour so you could have a sleep. Your amazing doing this on your own so much. I'm so glad DH is back sooner this time.

VagolaJahooli Fri 23-Nov-12 11:16:03

Just bought Muse & Dinosaur Jr tickets woot woot!

McKayz Fri 23-Nov-12 11:37:59

Yes he is back tomorrow. He's is in Manchester tonight going to a concert with his Dad. In fact he is about to try and find the city of manchester stadium to pass time until his Dad arrives.
I'm going to meet him tomorrow so we can go and see Accrington Stanley. One of my biggest teen crushes plays for them now. grin

I don't actually feel too bad, which is strange. I am tired but it's ok.

Very very jealous of Muse envy

spotofcheerfulness Fri 23-Nov-12 12:26:32

I'm ok thanks, think I just majorly overdid it in the hot room blush.

kayz I have every sympathy. How is DD this morning? T literally up all night coughing. Took him to doc this morning and he's got an inhaler.

vag that is very sweet about you missing ds2. Sounds like you've found something really worthwhile to fill the time with in your uni course. Have you submitted the application yet?

ZuleikaJambiere Fri 23-Nov-12 21:56:43

Happy birthday to Harry and Octavia for this weekend. I hope lots of fun is had. Who has the list? Time to dig it out

Hi hi to Turnip and Urbane, so lovely to hear from you both

How are you doing RT? Hurrah for your wonderful friends, they sound the perfect people to brighten up the day and distract you from your worries

Beans your dear Dad's funeral sounds wonderful, it sounds like he would have loved to be there with you, great to have laughter with the tears. Was there talk of you catering it? Surely you didn't feed nearly 500 people?!

Did you see WG at the wedding LadyT? Was it the 'sleb one I think it is? If so, I lurked on a couple of threads about it and everyone was v complimentary about the couple and wished they were there to hear the speeches, and I wanted to dive in and say 'I know a mumsnetter who is there'! In fact someone linked to an old thread that the bride had come on to post, and you'd started it - did you know her then?

envy at Deids and Spot's mini meet, I've never met either of you but so wish I had. The Inclusion Officer sounds a lot more sensible than the teacher

Is DD still skipping feeds in the day Kayz in favour of nosing around? When mine went through that phase I tried as far as possible to recreate a night time feed in the day, that is sitting in a dark room with curtains drawn, no telly or radio or people for distraction. Obviously hard when the boys are at home, but if you can do one feed at day like that when they're at school/nursery it might help

Good luck with the Masters application Veg, it sounds perfect for you

Have you got my secret santa stuff Hons?

I hope you're sleeping soundly Indith, along with everyone else in your house

So I'm enjoying being back at work and already used to the commute again. Yesterday I spent my lunch hour in York Minster, I have not been surrounded by so much peace and calm in the rest of this year put together, it was blissful. Once I've wrenched myself away from the girls in the morning, spending time away from them is definitely refreshing and reinvigorates me for the other days that I'm at home. It doesn't reinvigorate me for the household chores though, really struggling to keep on top of laundry and preparing nice meals, but hoping I'll get a grip on that soon, so few hours in the day.

London Ladies - tell me about Victoria. I've got a meeting not far from Victoria tube station next Wednesday and have an hour to kill before it, so can anyone recommend a nice shop or two, or a coffee shop to kill some time in?

LadyThompson Fri 23-Nov-12 21:58:37

Hello lovelies

Have just sat down for a nice catch up, with coffee, wine AND diet Vimto, thinking I had a night in on my own and DP has called to say he's 15 mins or so away. Which is nice, as he was expecting to be late but I had psyched myself up for a night to myself.

Anyway - Indith - you have had a terrible week. I am sending soothing vibes north east. Please tell me things are a little better. And you Kayz. The pair of you must be on your respective knees.

Good on your tickets, Vag! I am off to see Ben Fold Five tomorrow night. It's the third time in my life I have tried to see them and my Mum was supposed to be babysitting as the gig is in Nottingham, but the girls have hideous coughs and Mum gets awful bronchitis and I can't expose her to the girls because if she gets a cough it hangs around for weeks and makes her really ill. So we are now paying a local babysitter at considerable expense. The first time I was supposed to see them, DH was having chemo so we couldn't go. The second time I had tickets, I was busy at work and got the dates mixed up - thought I had tickets for Wednesday, turned out to be the Tues and I'd missed it! Let's see if we do make it tomorrow.

And I have blahed on about myself and now I have run out of time. Lovely to see you back, Urbs. How much time are you thinking of taking off?

RT - it was lovely to hear you sounding happier. Hope you are feeling like that still.

More a demain. Happy Birthday to your DS for tomorrow, DB, and so glad you got to meet Spot! xx

Turniphead1 Fri 23-Nov-12 22:28:32

Ahhhh! Just worked out who Vagooli is! 'twas the Muse tickets wot did it.

LadyT - hope gig worth all the hassles and and babysitting £££. Enjoy! Is O four now? I recall she was the first or among the first. (Having been among the last!)

RTchoke Sat 24-Nov-12 10:55:35

Happy Birthday weekend Harry and Octavia!

I cannot believe that our "babies" are turning FOUR. We are no longer the parents of small children (well, expect that most of you have gone on to have more and I am soon to plunge back into that world... but you know what I mean!). In fact Veg you expressed it better with your sadness about DS2 starting school.

Lady and (the unlikely to read this) WG I am uber impressed if ZJ is right about the wedding you attended. I had no idea! Tell us more, tell us more!

ZJ I'm glad you are enjoying the advantages of working motherhood. The peace is amazing isn't it? I love walking into my office in the morning and quietly making my coffee and logging on and knowing nobody is going to jump on me or scream in my ear for hours. Are you full time?

Turnip you are still here! Yeah! Please stay. Are you going back to Ireland for christmas?

Indith and Kayz how goes the sleep? Better I hope. You both sounds very chipper given your situations.

DD2 has started throwing tantrums again having appeared to grow out of them about a year ago. She saves her most spectacular ones for Friday mornings which is the only day I am home and is the day I drop her at nursery. She hates going to nursery when she knows I am at home and she has started screaming and hitting anyone who tries to comfort her as I leave. It is actually quite distressing. I think she is fretting over the idea of a baby sibling. Last week she said (rather articulately I thought): "I am please we are having a baby but I wish I was going to stay the youngest". When I asked why it turned out she was worried about giving up liking pink because DD1 hates pink so she thought that was what happens to older sisters. When I explained she could still love pink it was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

ZuleikaJambiere Sat 24-Nov-12 16:28:55

Your DD2 is so sweet RT, bless her for feeling the weight of responsibility. My DD1 is currently obsessed with who her big sister was when she was a baby and won't accept that she didn't have one. She doesn't wish she has one now, just doesn't like the thought that she had no-one to do funny dances for her to make her giggle. It's such an odd concept for them to grasp. I'm working 3 days, so a nice balance. With the commute I'm out of the house 11 hours a day and they are often still asleep when I leave, so it's enough for me

My first post pregnancy period arrived today, just in time for a swanky black tie do I'm going to tonight. Don't feel like slinking round in my fancy frock anymore

McKayz Sun 25-Nov-12 07:41:50

Happy Birthday to Harry and Octavia!! Hope they both have wonderful days.

ZJ, yes daytime feeds are still a struggle. I think I will start doing feeds upstairs away from distractions. I have a feeding necklace so I think I'll try that too for feeds I have to do downstairs. I don't know if it will work but its worth a try.

She woke twice Friday night and 3 times last night. So not too bad.

We're going to start weaning tomorrow. She's definetly ready for it. We made some food the other week and froze it. I'm looking forward to it. I enjoyed weaning the boys.

Hope everyone is ok.

Rubena Sun 25-Nov-12 13:27:55

Happy B'day O and to H for the other day! Hello Turnip and Urbane! Didn't think we'd ever see you back here Turnip! ZJ - no mini meet up if you're going to be in London?!

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