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Partner feeling rejected by our baby, help!

(4 Posts)
Sophie7822 Sun 23-Sep-12 22:49:14

I'm hoping you may be able to help, my son is 3 and a half months old and is our first baby. My partner works full time and after spending the whole day with the baby I would like to have a break when he gets home, the problem is our baby has started teething and is irritable and difficult to settle, when I give him to my partner he just screams and only settles when he is back in my arms. Understandably my partner is feeling very rejected and a bit useless and I feel like I'm not getting a break from the baby. This situation is leading to arguments and bad feelings. I want my partner to have a good relationship with our son but he feels like a spare part at the moment.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!


Musomathsci Sun 23-Sep-12 22:58:45

Can he get involved with things like bathing your son in the evening? That is quite calming and soothing for most babies, and would be a good bonding activity for both of them. Evenings are often tricky at this age, and you may need to take your 'breaks' during the day instead, perhaps when your baby is napping. Have you got a friend or neighbour who would watch him for an hour for you while you have a bit of 'me' time, or take him for a walk?

FannyFifer Sun 23-Sep-12 23:06:23

No real advise but I sympathise.

When DD was small she used to actually growl at DP whenever he went near her, this was pretty much from newborn.

She started to like him about the 6th month mark.

DianaVreeland Sun 23-Sep-12 23:10:07

My first son didn't know want his father at all for the first 6 months! They are so dependant on their mothers for food and comfort I think it is nature's way of ensuring they get the best screaming their little heads off when you hand them over!!

I think the bath suggestion is a good idea, your husband can't feed him but he can do plenty of other things.

My son suffered from colic at 11 weeks and my husband would come home to a screaming child and over-wrought mum! His solution was to scoop him up in a babycarrier and walk him round the streets for 45 mins to give me a break and settled my son. It may have been through exhaustion (from screaming) but he was always calm when he returned.
My husband used to say, if he's been fed and got a clean nappy, the crying's just noise, nothing to worry about. He dealt with it much better than I.
My son is now 9 and incredibly loving and bright..and he loves his DD now! Only today he asked to be taken swimming by DD so he can get changed in the men's room and be grown up. So rest assured your DD will have his moment in the sun. Being a parent gets better and better as they grow older, and this is such a short time in their infant-hood things will move on before you know it.

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