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Sept 08 - Insert witty title 'here'

(1000 Posts)
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 28-Mar-11 19:38:28

Sorry about the crap title ladies, I was lacking inspiration and we were up to our limit on posts!

ArthurPewty Mon 28-Mar-11 19:54:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 28-Mar-11 19:57:33

Oh no, poor Star sad, I'll pop over to her thread.

Lovely picture Bec, so cute.

Congratulations on the dishwasher MrsA, how fab!! I have tested about 3 different things via MN, but never something so good!

WRT home VBAC, I done a HUGE amount of research and I still came to the conclusion that I would be better off having my baby at home. I think the research is something each person has to do for their specific situation.

DS1 was an emerg. csection and I had a pretty crap time with the Consulatants I came into contact with during my pregnancy with him (the MW's were all fine.)

When I was expecting ds2 I knew that I wanted a homebirth with him and because I knew the Consultants were going to be complete arseholes about it, I hired an Independant MW who knowing my obs history was more than happy to take me on. Infact a large percentage of IM customers are VBAC'ers. It is the best money I have ever spent, and have one again for this pregnancy and birth.

I firmly believed I was capable of a vaginal birth and I knew that the best place for me to labour and birth would be at home.

Being stuck on my back like a stranded beetle on a hospital bed, strapped down to a CTG machine, and having to oblige to the rule of dilating 1cm an hour are not conducive to good labouring imo.

DS2 was born at home in water after about a 4 hour labour. It was so quick the MW only made it with 15 mins to spare, but that was ok, infact I would like that to happen again this time grin

Because of the risk of placental abruption the baby and I will be monitored every 15 minutes for warning signs (scar pain between contractions, raised BP and heart rate), and being at home I have 1 MW to look after me and me alone. If you are in hospital they will rely on a machine to look after you while the MW pops in and out of the room every so often. I know what I feel is safest.

I've banged on for long enough now, but you can ask me anything smile

Meglet Mon 28-Mar-11 21:06:03

bookmarking...

DebiTheScot Mon 28-Mar-11 21:29:57

ditto

FannyPriceless Mon 28-Mar-11 22:02:58

Bookmarking

Meglet Mon 28-Mar-11 22:41:51

iltmimi I like the title grin.

pacita Tue 29-Mar-11 04:46:00

Bookmarking

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 29-Mar-11 08:28:51

Thanks meglet, it took me bloody ages to think of wink

Becaroooo Tue 29-Mar-11 08:44:55

bookmarking...

Oh poor star

ILTMIMI thanks for your comment about HB. Sadly I am not in a position to hire an independent midwife (£2-4 grand which is just out of my league). I will be hiring a local doula though.
Makes me think though - if an independent mw would support me at home, then why not NHS ones? As I understand it, it's my right to insist. Food for thought.
But the one point which i will not be moved on is constant monitoring and lying on a bed. As I understand it, they are not allowed to do anything that I refuse, so I shall simply refuse constant monitoring if they get me into hospital (hence the doula to support me). They will have to come in and monitor me every 15 minutes.

Hey (thinking aloud), perhaps that is my argument about why a HB will be better for the hospital - cos I know I'm not going to be popular if I refuse constant monioring. Am feeling very amazonian today though grin

Debs75 Tue 29-Mar-11 10:00:25

ILTMIMI It looks like you are definitely well informed for a home birth. I really wish I was more informed when I had DS as his was such an easy birth there was no need for me to be in hospital so I could of relaxed at home and been there for DD1.

Robyn still poorly but she is in at Drs later. She has slept so much this last 24 hours. She is now shouting at me as I am not in her favourite posistion, sat by her side.

On a completely diferent topic - pre-school for DD.

She won't get her actual place at pre-school until Sept 2012 when she turns 4 and I wondered what everyone else who works was doing?

Cos I work FT (and will do after maternity leave), I need a school that also has an attached nursery for before and after-work childcare.
My nearest school doesn't have one and I've recently found out that a childminder would actually cost more than full-time private nursery as the CM would charge for the whole day, whereas private nursery fees would be off-set by the funding for 5 sessions a week that DD would not be using as she is in nursery.

This is most strange. I want DD to go to pre-school but if my only option is a CM, she'll have to stay in nursery till she's 5. With No2 also needing childcare, we will just about afford nursery fees for 2, but that relies on the pre-school funding for DD, albeit term-time only. A CM would be a step too far, unless I sold a kidney.
Sadly, this nursery only goes up to 5 and doesn't offer after-school care/holiday clubs etc.

This is all new to me - what does everyone else do? I have found a local school that offers an attached full-day nursery (I believe) but it closes during the school hols. Is this unusual?

I truly have no idea what to do. I may start a thread in working parents but wanted to get your opinions first if I may?

Lollyheart Tue 29-Mar-11 10:21:40

Bookmarking

Lollyheart Tue 29-Mar-11 10:31:53

Sorry star to hear your news sad
I'm glad you dh is home safe Carrie
enjoy the dishwasher MrsA
I'm looking forward to hearing iltmimi and hopefullys birth announcements, ive seen kagey has had her baby.

Not much going on here really, Fraser is ok apart from he hardly eats, and would live on cheese if he could .

Ive got mw today , nearly 16 weeks now smile

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 29-Mar-11 11:36:27

MrsA - the local MW's can support you at home and legally they are obliged to. So if you stick to your guns they cannot stop you. If they try to pull the trick of not having enough MW's on duty when you call in labour that is also legally not allowed and you should tell them you know so. Infact if anyone mentions that scenario during your ante-natal period you should send a letter to the Head of Midwifery and inform them that there WILL be a MW to tend you at home, no matter what the circumstances. You can get great template letters which will help you word it all correctly.

The problems arise because the MW's themselves may not be happy about a VBAC'er at home, but more likely because they will be pressured by the Obs to get you into hospital, ie more under their control.

I don't blame you for refusing constant monitoring and I believe statistically it doesn't make labour any safer. It means they can rely on a machine and no doubt use the information it gives if a legal situation was to occurr further down the line.

Read up on your rights and the pro's and con's of VBAC and be armed with information and knowledge. Make sure they know you are not to be trifled with or fobbed off smile

Right, got to go and pick ds up from pre-school

Debs75 Tue 29-Mar-11 14:36:11

MRSA Our local school has an attached school-nursery but it does shut for all holidays. Also school-nurseries do not often provide morning and afterschool care. If you want a nursery which caters all year then you need a private nursery. The nursery Robyn is at have a pre-school room and offers the same learning which a school-nursery would. robyn will be staying there until she gets a school place as she really enjoys it and I can be flexible with her days.

Dr has given her more cream for her eyes and more antibiotics for her cough. Hope it works she was like a furnace last night. She was however all bright eyed at the surgery

DebiTheScot Tue 29-Mar-11 14:42:51

MrsA you might get lucky with a midwife and get one who is up for not monitoring closely. I never went near the bed until almost the last minute. And even then I'm sure I remember her saying that although she would rather I delivered on the bed I didn't have to. And I didn't have to be forceful to get that, they were totally up for not monitoring me. (that could almost read like I was abandoned which I wasn't at all!)

Your pre-schl issue is a bit complicated! The way things work varies from place to place which doesn't help either. Does the nursery she is in now have a pre-schl room? Will she get her 15 free hours there? Could she just stay there until school? When you say you need a school with atached nursery do you mean pre-school? I don't know any pre-schools that offer wrap around care for the hours you'd need. The children of fulltime working parents I know go to private nurserys until school.
Where did you get that info on childminders? Do you mean they'd charge for the wholel day if they'd taken your dd to pre-schl and picked her up? They wouldn't all necessarily do that. I'm hoping mine won't when ds goes to pre-schl although I haven't actually asked her yet.

I haven't decided about pre-school either. I was going to go for 2 mornings a week from Sept and then maybe up it to 2 full days in Jan (don't think he'll ever do 15 hours as it might not fit in with work and childcare but if he doesn't I think the childminder can claim back the money for the free hours we have spare so we don't have to pay her). Anyway, I then worked out that those 2 mornings for 1 term would cost nearly £400!! (and if we did have to pay childminder for 1 of those mornings as it'd be a day I'm at work that'd be even worse) So do I just leave him until jan when he'd be free? Or go for 1 session a week? Or is that not worth it?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 29-Mar-11 14:45:24

I hope R feels better soon Debs. DS has had conjunctivitus twice and each time he had it he had a cold at the same time.

Did you mention R has stopped bf'ing? How's that going? Do you feel ok about it?

Becaroooo Tue 29-Mar-11 15:05:21

mrsa Tom was at a pre school attached to a school for 5 mornings per week (they also did afternoons) but AFAIK these places do not cover lunchtimes and are only open during term time (which vary from LEA to LEA).

My dnephews always went to private day nursery (but my sis and bil are loaded!!!) and when they were old enough they went into the pre school room and basically did the same things Tom was doing at his pre school.

If C likes her nursery, can she stay there till she starts reception? You will get funding when she turns 3 (I think its 18.5 hours per week now?) Thats what my dnephews did. Also, my nephews went all through the school holidays too so my dsis got a break and my nephews didnt have to re-integrate into the environment which Tom always found hard after a long time off (i.e. easter and summer)

Also, when my eldest nephew (F) started reception my youngest nephew (D) was still at the nursery - this meant that F could attend nursery during the school holidays with D which would be good for you with 2 dc....c could attend nursery/day care after she starts school during the school holidays....does Cs nursery provide that type of care?

HTH
x

CappuccinoCarrie Tue 29-Mar-11 15:05:41

bookmarking

CappuccinoCarrie Tue 29-Mar-11 17:48:53

Back again! Any news on kagey's birth etc?

debi neither of my DCs have started any form of child care until their funding starts as I can't afford to be at home and pay for child care, so of course I'll tell you that waiting til the free place in January is absolutely fine grin

mrsa the different options at 3+ confuse the heck out of me, there are some playgroups round here that offer flexible sessions, but not holidays, so you'd still need a private nursery place. I know some CM don't charge full price but a retainer as they can't have another client in the few hours your DC is at playgroup, and they're the emergency contact if there was a problem and your DC needed picking up.

The constant monitoring during labour sounds unpleasant - I could only labour comfortably in water, or on my knees slumped over a birthing ball. I do hope you are successful in refusing it.

I have to say HB does not appeal to me in any way whatsoever...made even worse by what happened to dSIL last week, if she'd been having a HB my nephew wouldn't be alive now as they wouldn't have picked up the cord prolapse in time, or got them to hospital in time. My mw was pushing me for a HB as I've had two very straightforward labours, but my biggest issue is my DCs - where would they go?! Having them around would stress me out as I'd be worrying about what they're up to, and I don't want them or my mum (who'll be looking after them) to see me in the state I'm in in labour! And they'd have no access to any of their toys, or the kitchen, as I'd hire a pool which would go in the extension and then ban them any access! All in all I'm not really a HB candidate am I?! grin DS's was my perfect birth...I feel safe in hospital and had wonderful care, and all the mess and pain and me-in-a-state was left there, and I came home a couple of hours later all serene with my baby boy

Lollyheart Tue 29-Mar-11 17:56:11

I sneaked on the march thread blush kageys birth announcement is on there.
Mw went well, heard the hb smile she is very homebirth and I'm nearly convinced, just looking at birth pools for hire smile

ensure Tue 29-Mar-11 19:49:11

Hello! I saw this in active conversations and thought "I must post and say hi to everyone". It's jenbot here. (I do read what everyone is up to on Facebook. Oh, actually I can't remember who is who on Facebook now.)

I had a quick look on the end of the last thread to catch up!

Star has gone? I bumped into her the other week as we live in the same town. I'll let her know people say hello if I see her again.

digital so sorry to hear about your mc. how are you feeling now?

Ninja, sorry about your problems with your DH. I saw your eye, that looked dreadful. Sounds like you had a pretty miserable holiday.

MrsA- well done winning the dishwasher! I won 6 bottles of wine! Mumsnet is good to us!

hopefully how are you getting on? Did you get an earlier appointment?

bec I hope your mum is doing ok. And that you will now get the help you need for ds1.

kagey congrats!

fancy glad you are feeling better since going on your meds.

Sorry for anything else I missed, I've been half reading, half doing other stuff!

I have my 6 millionth driving test next week, I just CANNOT pass. Argh. Then a wedding to go to at the weekend which I am really looking forward to. a) I never go anywhere and b) she is a good friend and c) I love weddings!

What else has been going on? Oh C had some funny fits after bumping her head a few weeks ago but they have stopped and she seems fine now. Phew.

Re. Pre-schools. I was in a panic when it seemed everyone I know sends their child except me. I had a look round all the local ones at the same time as looking round nurseries, but I haven't signed her up so far after all.
Not sure whether to send her or not yet. Hmm. Will have to mull it over some more!

Becaroooo Tue 29-Mar-11 20:04:52

Hi jen Glad C is better now...how worrying for you!

Tom didnt do any nursery classes til pre school at 3 and Toby will be the same because a) I am a SAHM and b) its too flipping expensive!!!

I honestly dont know how working parents manage it...almost all of one wage must go on childcare...its criminal! If the Govt were really serious about helping families they would make it easier for the mother to got back to work if she wanted to....how about decent govt funded nurseries/day care for those who want to go back to work and get the economy back on track again??

Sorry, bit of a bugbear of mine! I would like to go back to work PT at some point but atm its just not financially feasible....I would pay out more in child care and petrol than I could earn.

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