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(14 Posts)
katymac Fri 15-Jul-05 21:38:22

Not sure if this is in the right section, but anyway

I have been discussing on another thread about trust and the ramifications of trusting and not trusting people.

I would genuinly like to trust people and am terribly offended when people don't trust me. However as a small business owner I find it nearly impossible to trust people as it would be my livlihood if they let me down.

Is there a middle ground? Are there ways of making things more secure?
Are there ways of "telling" whether someone is trustworthy

We were let down badly by someone we went to church with so I don't think it is an issue that it purely business realted

Any thoughts?

bonym Fri 15-Jul-05 21:50:29

Sadly, I think if it is business related you can't really take anything on trust if it would mean a possible financial loss.

Tbh, I think the majority of people are trustworthy but it is not always possible to tell. I like to think that I would get a "feeling" about someone, but some dishonest people can be very plausible.

katymac Fri 15-Jul-05 21:55:44

I hoped that I could tell - but as I have been let down (small amount business and large amount by friends) - I know this isn't true

People are plausible but it's so hard to decide

expatinscotland Fri 15-Jul-05 21:59:16

I trust others b/c I trust my own judgement of folks. That way, when they burn me, I don't get down. Just another experience for me to hone my judgment skills.

Cam Sat 16-Jul-05 20:01:04

In the business side of your life, presumably you have processes in place which prevent the financial loss (to a great extent) if your trust is betrayed?

In other areas of your life, could you be expecting too much from some people? Sometimes other people don't live up to our own (exacting) standards but are not necessarily to be blamed for that.

Otherwise, if someone lets me down, I tend to think its more their loss than mine

katymac Sat 16-Jul-05 20:04:34

Not really Cam - on the business front, I try and ask for money up front - but there are always reasons why an exception should be made.....and I sit there on tender hooks waiting to see if I'm going to be paid.

On a more personal level - I tend to expect nothing and I'm never disappointed and can be pleasently surprised

monkeytrousers Sun 17-Jul-05 11:19:32

You should read up on a bit of game theory. Have a google.

katymac Sun 17-Jul-05 15:33:22

I've had a google - but it's a bit much for a Sunday afternoon, could you expalin it (in words of no more than 3 sylbles(sp) or point me to a website that does....Thanks

monkeytrousers Sun 17-Jul-05 16:33:15

I couldn't do it justice Katymac, sorry.

I read about it in The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins if that helps (2nd ed). The chapters called 'Nice guys finish first'.

It’s all about evolutionary stable strategies and how one mode of behaviour is open to exploitation from another. And how environments matter before you decide on a game plan.

katymac Sun 17-Jul-05 16:35:15

I'll get a book from the library as I like this sort of thing.

Childminding is kind of brain deadening and apart from the accounts I need something occasionally to keep the grey matter active

monkeytrousers Sun 17-Jul-05 16:38:22

That should do it then. Good luck!!

katymac Mon 18-Jul-05 12:38:50

Well so much for trust I've just "lost" £1953...bu&&er

monkeytrousers Fri 22-Jul-05 19:16:25

This explains a bit about game theory
the prisoners dilemma

monkeytrousers Fri 22-Jul-05 19:26:30

this ones a bit better

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