(Have namechanged for this, as I want to be very frank.)
So here's the thing. Ever since my children were born I have been turning over the idea of mortality in my head.
I have to admit to being utterly terrified at the prospect of not existing any more - the thought of ceasing to be just fills me with utter dread and fear.
So I've found myself wondering about an afterlife - whether there is one, whether it would be comforting to believe in one? But I can't reconcile an afterlife with my rational, scientific approach to what I believe about the universe.
And yet, when I truly consider the prospect that we are, after all, just a tiny species on a tiny rock in a vast, spinning universe that cares not one jot whether I personally live or die....well, I feel like someone in the Total Perspective Vortex from the HitchHiker's Guide. It actually makes me catch my breath in terror.
So what next? Is religion a viable way of keeping the fears at bay? Or does believing in God in order to be less scared at 3am just sound like convenience, rather than true faith?
Do I take a Kantian approach, and say it is morally necessary to assume the existence of God?
I don't feel that I truly, deep down, believe in a God. Any God. But when I'm in a crisis, I do pray to something! So what's that all about?
How do I deal with the fear? And am I bonkers, or does anyone else feel like this?
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Wrestling with thoughts about mortality and religion - any thoughts?
29 replies
WhatsItAllAboutThen · 26/08/2009 09:21
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