has a loved one ever died and come to visit you in your dreams or quiet times?

[chimchar]

am not at all religious, but always been a believer in all things "angelic" and spitirtual.

my mum died two weeks ago very unexpectedly and suddenly, and i'm having a great big battle in my head, and starting to wonder if my beliefs are just romantic notions iykwim...

looking for some reassurance or something i guess, and whilst i don't think i want to SEE my mum, i'm hankering after a sign or something that tells me she's still around...

[PersonalClown]

My nan has been gone for over 20 years but still manages to make herself know when she's needed!
I started talking to my DP when I was washing my hair as I saw 'him' go into our bedroom out the corner of my eye.
Only he shouted up the stairs who was I talking to!!
My belief is that They make their presence known when it's needed, like a reassuring hand on the shoulder type thing.

[Vulgar]

My mum's best friend died after a long battle with cancer and my mum said after a while ( not sure how long), her friend appeared to her in a dream and said: "I'm all right, you know."

My mum said it was really comforting . . . I'm sorry I can't give you more details as it happened over 15 years ago.

I hope you take some comfort from this. You must be feeling great pain and sadness right now. Don't worry she will always be with you somehow.

[Rachmumoftwo]

I was in the garden yesterday, thinking about my dad, who passed away almost a year ago when I noticed a plant he had given me beginning to flower for the very first time. I have had the plant for a few years and it had never flowered. It made me smile and I felt, for a moment, that he was very near.

I am sorry for your loss, your pain must still be very raw. It does get easier with time, although I think about my dad every day. Please take time for yourself to heal. x

[chimchar]

thanks for your messages....

this is going to sound barking mad (and i'm not, honest!) but i'm sure, from a distant memory of reading "the gift" by mia dolan, that sometimes a soul doesn't know where to go if it is taken suddenly, and has to sort of put things right or something before coming to its own peace...

jeeez! i know what i'm trying to say, but can't get the words out....

maybe its too soon..maybe i'm looking for something that isn't there...

[PM73]

My lovely Nana passed away before my ds was born & when he was born a few nights after i had a lovely dream that my Nana was sitting by me telling me she was very proud of me & my ds was beautiful.

Of course it could have just been a dream because i was missing her but it felt very real to me.

Also not long after i was reading a book,sorry cant remember it might have been mia Dolan,anyway it said that to see a white feather signifies a spirit visiting & the next day i went into my car & pulled the sun visor down & a white feather fell into my lap.

[paranoidmother]

I quite often have dreams with my Dad in them and he died 6 years ago now.
He never met my DC's but in my dreams he has seen them and tells me how much he loves them. It helps me to remember him, however I still miss his hugs.

I also had one dream about 10years ago shortly after one of my best friends died. He was driving with me in the car and we came to a junction and he asked me to get out of the car. I couldn't see the end of the road and he said I couldn't go any further with him. He said he was fine and happy and I wasn't to worry as he wasn't in any pain. I felt so much better after that about him.

[BalloonSlayer]

On Father's Day this year I was seized with the urge to sort out the last few things belonging to my late Dad, while DH took the children out.

I got some of Dad's stuff down from the loft and sorted through it. At one point I sniffed it - Dad was a mechanic and he always carried a characteristic smell of a certain oil some mechanics use. A lot of his stuff smells of it, but none of it was particularly lingering on the things I was sorting through, which didn't bother me.

I put all the things back in the loft then started working on my spreadsheet of his estate. I'd mislaid a piece of paper and went into the kitchen to find it. It's not a pretty kitchen but the back door was open and the sun was streaming through. Suddenly I smelled the oil smell, the "Dad smell" incredibly strongly. It was magic. I said "Hello Dad!" and stood there a while in the quiet and sunlight with a dumb smile on my face.

Eventually it faded away. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe someone two doors down was creosoting their fence. But it was lovely all the same.

[PM73]

These stories are lovely & so comforting.

[moshie]

I was going to say about white feathers too, I always say hi to my dad when I find one.
Logically I know it's because there are a lot of seagulls round here, and I've got feather pillows, but it makes me smile, and I genuinely found loads more in odd places after he died.

[southeastastra]

yes my mum came to me in a dream a month or so after she died. was really real. i sort of felt like i couldn't move like how she felt when she was really ill. was comforting. had a few others since.

[chimchar]

thanks for sharing...they are lovely.... i know about the white feathers...i actually found one two days ago, in the middle of my room and wanted so much for it to have been from my mum, but i put it down to my feather cushions (still kept it though!)

[Vulgar]

But maybe it was from your mum Chimchar?

she is still with you.

Look after yourself.

[chimchar]

thanks vulgar...she may still be with me...i'd be comforted to think that she was, but wouldn't i know?

[spudmasher]

Oh chimcar I am looking for exactly the same sort of thing at the moment. I really want to believe it...I really do. I have had a few of the dreams and they are lovely. I want another!Lost my dad a year ago on Sunday and so much want him to be near. I am missing him so much. My mum has gone to Australia- a trip they had always planned and I think he must be there with her....

[jeminthepark]

Yeah, I sometimes dream about my sister. She was 46 when she died, she was an alcoholic.

But I remain open to whether it was HER, or just my dreams....however my sis-in-law believes she visits me, because I said when she kidssed me on the cheek it felt cold- in her mind that means I 'met' her, but I just think it was a dream.
I do miss her though, she had a horrible death through her illness.

[pseudoname]

an aunt, quite young, died shortly after she was diagnosed with cancer. 6 mo after she died, i had a very telling dream of her visiting. the thing is as well, a week before she died, another mutual relative of ours had visited me and i am sure he came to take her (i mean that in a positive way). i have never told anyone in real life about these dreams. i have had other dream visits from said mutual relative on his death and of another good friend of mine who died tragically leaving a young family.

your mum will be in touch and when she does it will be undeniable.

[pseudoname]

I meant "a week before she died was diagnosed, another mutual relative...

[myermay]

sorry to hear about your mum, you must be having a rough time.

Yes my gran spoke with me in a dream. She'd been dead for about 18 mths ad i missed her terribly, still crying, going over it all in my head. One night whilst i was asleep i dreamt that the phone rang as i picked it up, i heard her voice on the other end saying " hello angel, i'm ok now" - i woke up crying, i knew it was her, her voice was so real. 3 yrs later when i saw a medium, she said that my gran had contacted me before now and held her hand up to her ear and said something about a telephone call. I shoke my head and said but that was a dream - and she said no she spoke to you through your dream! very comforting.

Give it time, i'm sure your mum will make herself known

[tummytickler]

Hello
I dont usually post on this bit of mumsnet, but read regularly.
My best friend died 8 years ago, very suddenly in a car crash.
I have had him come to me in dreams 7 times since he died, but this didn' start until a couple of years after he died.
I cant explain it, but they feel differnt to other dreams i have and i just 'know' that it is really him, i physically feel our hug, and it feels as though no time has passed since i spoke to him last. The sense of relief i feel after the dream is incredible. I miss him so much, but i know they are not 'just dreams'.
I cant explain it properly and dh thinks i am barking, but i agree with pp - you will know when it happens!

[Granny23]

My much loved Dad died and I was distraught. Eventually slept and had just wakened the following morning, when at 9.00am precisely our power went off for no reason (no storms or rain, no works in the area) and came on again 2 minutes later. Only our half of the village was affected i.e. the half where we and my Dad lived. This had never happened before and has never happened since, as we are 'double fed' which means that if power fails in one direction it should automatically feed from the other. Why am I so conviced my Dad was sending a message? My Dad was a Control Engineer with Scottish Power for 40 years, responsible for 'switching' eg re-routing power in the event of an overload or fault. I just know he did it as sign for me and it was massively comforting.

I have had a few of these experiences which have convinced me that there is 'something else'.

Now I'll tell you something I have not said to my family or friends. When my DGS arrived 2.5 years ago I was not even thinking about my Dad, only my daughter who had had a really rough time. But I picked up the new baby and immediately saw my father looking at me. This is plain daft because DGS is chubby faced with big blue eyea and blonde curls, whereas my Dad was slim, jet black hair, big brown eyes. The feeling persists. I love our wee boy and know him as his own person, but sometimes he looks at me a certain way and my Dad is there. Recently, we were looking at old family photos and came across one of my Dad with his 2 GC. Look, I said, there is Mummy's grandad. No, he said, its Granny's Daddy, and proceeded to pick him (and only him) out of all the other pictures saying, 'There's your Daddy, again'. Perhaps, it is all in my mind, perhaps it is just the roll of the genes, but I just KNOW my Dad is back with us.

[LovingtheSilverFox]

I haven't had a visit from a loved one, but brother has dreams when someone we know has died. For example, when our grandfather died, he dreamt that grandad had telephoned him and proceeded to have a go at my brother for not going to church regularly enough (a long standing issue in our family surrounding denominations). The next morning, which happened to be a Sunday, my brother was up and dressed and ready for church at 7.30 the next morning! (As an aside, my parents took on my grandfather's telephone number to run their internet through, my Dad 'phoned my brother to check that the line was working, and my brother refused to answer because it said "Grandad" on his mobile phone!)

Also when his best friend was killed in a motorbike accident, my brother had a dream that he was telephoned out of the blue by a girl he knew, but had never given his number to. When he asked her were she had got the number she answered "Sam" (she didn't know Sam at all). She said that he had asked her to say hi from him, and that he was fine.

So when someone we know dies, we always ask my brother if he has had any telephone calls lately. It seems to be a way of communicating that lets him know they are ok, without actually "appearing" in person. Maybe they think this would freak him out.

Another thing, my MIL was a huge ABBA fan. On the day of her funeral DH and I were driving to the church. Feeling really low, I asked him if we could listen to the radio. He said no. But I felt I should switch it on anyway. We picked up a local station we had never heard before or since, who said "Now for our ABBA marathon morning, phone in with your requests"! We couldn't help but smile, and arrived at the funeral, singing along to Waterloo! Whenever we have a difficult desicion to make, we can guarantee that we will hear an ABBA song relevant to the situation, and guiding us. Probably a coincidence (statistics and all that), but DH always said his Mum had a mojo working, and we like to think that she is sending a message every so often to help us.

[LovingtheSilverFox]

Sorry - hit post too soon. You will be feeling raw, because it has happened so suddenly. Even if you don't have a sign, just remebering your mum will keep her with you, iyswim. Don't look for a big sign, sometimes it is a small thing, but you will know it's from her x

[chimchar]

thanks again everyone...

i'll keep waiting....i'm sure that i've smelt my mums purfume wafting past a few times this last two days, but am not sure if its my imagination...

hope not! x

[MrsMerryHenry]

I saw my mother in a dream...it felt very different from any dream I've ever had before or since. I think it was actually her. It was a beautiful experience.

I also had a similar-ish 'dream' about my brother...not so beautiful as I was filled with anguish.

These things are intriguing, aren't they?

[thumbwitch]

yes, my lovely Nanna - died very suddenly from a massive heart attack and within 2 weeks my bro, my sis and I all had dreams about her, where she was sitting with us as a family and telling us she was ok, it didn't hurt after a bit; it was kind of like the sort of Q&A session you would really like to have with someone who has passed over to know what it was like, except that she didn't tell us anything about where she was "now". BUt it was very real, and we all had a similar experience. It was very comforting.

Sadly didn't get the same with my Mum after she passed away... but did have some very vivid dreams about her where she hadn't died but was extremely ill with the cancer, looking much more terrible than when she actually died (a hint perhaps of what might have happened if she hadn't gone when she did, iyswim)