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The Marriage Course

(9 Posts)
DrDeluxe Thu 09-Jul-09 20:56:03

DP & I are wondering whether to do this as it looks like a good way to revitalise a few bits of married life that have been worn down by the pressures of life generally.

The only issue is that neither of us are Christians and DP is very strongly atheist (although a very moral and principled person). So am wondering how Christian it is and whether DPs opinions would undermine its value to us or whether we'd feel a bit uncomfortable or pressurised to act like Christians. I don't mind going to church - am C of E but don't really belive in it or practice it but DP is quite anti the whole thing.

DrDeluxe Thu 09-Jul-09 20:57:04

Sorry - forgot to say - would like to hear from people who've done it Christians or not about their views

DerbyshireMum Thu 09-Jul-09 21:43:04

I haven't done the course but I have read the book. I am a Christian and found the book really useful. I have bought the book for friends when they have got married. I last bought it for a non-Christian couple and they still said they found it useful. There are some bits about praying in it though, so if somebody is strongly atheist they might find some bits annoying. Why not buy The Marriage Book first and see what you both think before doing the course?

scienceteacher Fri 10-Jul-09 22:55:08

We have done this course and are Christians.

There are obviously Christian teachings in it, but I think the practical advice can apply to anyone.

It is all about communication and seeing things from your spouse's side.

You get your supper cooked for you so that is a big plus for the course.

DrDeluxe Sun 12-Jul-09 08:43:19

Yes the cooked supper sounded nice! I was hoping that it would just offer us a bit of neutral territory to discuss some things.

I read somewhere that it contains something about praying. Is that the case as DP would not be keen on on that, in fact it would make him rather cross.

scienceteacher Sun 12-Jul-09 13:34:20

Actually, I think the biggest barrier is that you don't seem to be married. I know that when we introduced the course in our church, we turned away a couple of couples who were not actually married.

I don't recall any forced praying. The course recognises that in many couples, one spouse is Christian and the other isn't, and it is sensitive to that. But the sensitivity works both ways.

alittlebitshy Sun 12-Jul-09 16:55:33

I think i agree with what scienceteacher is saying. we did this having done the marriage preparation course when we were engaged and really enjoyed it.In fact we had been desperately trying to find one nearer us than HTB for a LONG time having had such a good experience of the marriage prep one. I would actiually value doing it again as well!

I don't rememeber any enforced prayer either. The sessions may have started/ended with prayers by the leaders but nothing more than that.

It was a fabulous forum to discuss issues, though it follws a "syllabus", in which each week involves a different aspect/area of marriage.

Are you married? I'd say it would be a bit off to go if you're not as, although not turning away non-christians - far from it - it seems a bit insensitive to the values of the course to attend if you're not. But you may be using the term dp out of habit?!

majie Mon 13-Jul-09 22:40:59

Myself and dh did this course a few months ago. Similar set up to you in that dh not too keen on the christian aspect, praying etc. I had similar fears and worried that it might distract him from the other elements of the course. Ours was very lightly led, a few prayers here and there, included unmarried couples...of all ages, and people on second marriages. It really helped us on the communication side, and time management, and prioritising time with each other. Would really recommend it.... Good luck if you do go ahead.

hcj101 Thu 16-Jul-09 17:52:49

Hi DrDeluxe, my husband and I did the Marriage Course at HTB (the church where it started and where I used to go for 6 years) earlier this year and found it really helpful, really practical. I thought it was really sensitive to people with different views on God.

Two points to clarify:
1.It certainly doesn't matter if you're not married. I know a lot of people take the course if they're not.

2. Sometimes there is time allowed to either chat together or pray together in a couple as you prefer. So, people might be praying around you but no one will ask you to pray if you don't want to.

I agree with DerbyshireMum that you might like to look at The Marriage Book by Nicky and Sila Lee as this is similar to the course (though there is a definite advantage to having time put aside to sit and chat through things). They've also just published a Parenting Book, which I thought was very good.

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