Just a question for Christians here about feelings and emotions (although anyone is free to answer)

[whatanothernamechange]

If there is no point relying on our feelings, what is the point in having them???Why did God allow us to have feelings, emotions etc if they were just meant to be ignored, and why has going against what I feel left me feeling so awful and at times suicidal???!!!

[AMumInScotland]

I don't think God means us to ignore our emotions, though I also don't think that always follwing our emotions rather than our brains or consciences is a good idea either. I reckon we are meant to balance up what they all (plus prayer of course!) tell us, and make a decision based on that.

[frAKKINPannikin]

I think our feelings and emotions are valuable indicators of what's going on. If I'm feeling down then I know I need to focus more on positive things, get some prayer in, maybe talk to someone. Sometimes a gut feeling can be God working against doing the 'right' or 'logical' thing.

[laurawaterford]

This is the first time I have gone onto this thread - was feeling a bit pointless and bored, and noticed the spirituality thread for 'first time'. Interesting how we always find what we need!!
So apologies to whatanothernamechange, if I have missed a point that is covered elsewhere, but you sound pretty angry and desperate. Is everything ok with you currently?

[whatanothernamechange]

Just trying to work out my marriage and very unhappy. The thought of breaking the family up is tearing me up, but the thought of staying with him is even worse. I'm very sad to be here. I believe marriage is for life. And yes am doing relate.

[MaryBS]

I've been through a marriage break up, fortunately it didn't involve kids. I believed the marriage was for life, and I prayed to God for him to save the marriage. It ended anyway.

Looking back at that, it was the best thing that could have happened, although it didn't feel like it at the time. I thought I'd never feel better, but I do now.

God had the bigger picture, and was right there with me when I was hurting, although I couldn't see it at the time. He knew he had bigger and better things for me.

So now when things get tough and my emotions overwhelm me, I remind myself of that, and it helps, sometimes only a bit, but it helps. Something I also do, when I can, is try to remove from me the focus of my feelings, and focus on Jesus instead. That gives me respite at least. But in the words of Peter "Lord, where would we go? You have the message of eternal life".

Hang in there, and use any help God sends to get you through this.

[AMumInScotland]

Hi, I think you have to remember that, however sincerely you went into your marriage believing that it was for life, sometimes things happen which are beyond our control. People change, circumstances change, sometimes your spouse isn't 100% committed to making it work, sometimes even if you both are completely committed to it you just can't make it happen.

God doesn't demand that we get everything right in our lives, or that we should have superhuman abilities to make everything turn out the way we believe it should. He just expects us to try, and to admit to him and to ourselves when we fail, and try to move on again from there.

I'm sorry your marriage has reached this point, specially when you know either staying in it or splitting up are both going to cause hurt. But please don't think that God expects you to ignore your feelings - your feelings are a sign that something isn't right, and you owe it to yourself and your children to look honestly at your marriage and decide what the best course of action is. Well done going to Relate to try to work things through, and all the best whatever you decide.

[whatanothernamechange]

Thanks everyone. mary bs and amis both your messages made me cry. (A good thing, but I'm out in public at the moment so not the best timing ). So many church people have told me that you have to stick to it no matter what and ignore your feelings. Just keep being nice and he'll change. It would be very easy to just sink back and leave things as they are, but that would destroy me. I can't put up any more, i need to push for change, whatever that means.

[MaryBS]

Didn't mean to make you cry... With my ex, it was treat him nice and he treated me worse. In the end I guess I was lucky when HE decided to call an end to it, because I'd got so low and my self esteem was non-existent.

Praying that God gives you the answer you need...