From Ruby:
Tradition ? the very word conjures up a myriad of meanings ? from the traditional Sunday roast, traditional gender roles, Christmas traditions and so on. The word itself actually comes from the Latin ?traditionem? which means ?Handing over, passing on? (thank you Wikipedia!) and this is the meaning which first struck me when I started writing this reflection.
It has given me the chance to think about the beliefs and customs I have both consciously and unconsciously drawn on during my adulthood to form the rhythms of my own family life..
We all have rituals and things that we do, sometimes each day and more significantly to mark special occasions. All the major, monotheistic religions mark life?s milestones with celebrations, the rituals of which encapsulate the past and welcome the future. They are the things which mark our very lives and are a time for celebration as well as reflection.
They are the tiny things ? like the way we make our tea, which shoe we put on first all the way through to the way we welcome our children into the world and the ways in which we then mark the passing of subsequent years.
I have come to realise that traditions inform many parts of my religious and secular life ? Fridays are a case in point. Come 3.00 pm, I am usually trying desperately to finish my work emails, my filing and housework whilst simultaneously preparing for Friday night, and the welcoming of the Sabbath. The Shabbat candles are in their holders ready to be lit; if I am feeling very saintly my Challahs will be baking in the oven (otherwise sitting on the counter wrapped in plastic thanks Mr Marks and Mr Spencer) and I am setting the table with my late grandmother?s cloth and silverware.
I think of my mum doing the same thing 200 miles away, in her home doing things just as her late mum taught her, and her mum before her. And I feel blessed that I am doing something that my mother taught me, but also something countless other families are doing all around the world, with all their particular quirks. It is, for me, a moment of wonderful, warm and silent connection. It is a chance to say goodbye to the stresses and strains of the working week and put a literal demarcation between that and the weekend.
Traditions mark so many points in our lives ? from the sublime to the more prosaic. For example, when my twin sister and I were growing up, birthdays were a very big deal. We would run into our parents? room, where they would be waiting with a presents and cards and we would all sit together on their bed and open them up; usually at 6.00 am! I started to do this for my DH and we now do it for our DS. The night before his birthday I do what my mum used to do, and hide everything by the side of my bed ready for morning. I fully admit as DS is only 2.5, this ritual is currently more for my benefit than his, but I look forward to the days when he comes running into my room and throws himself onto my bed demanding gifts!
Talking of my DS, he is currently a very obvious embodiment of one of the more unusual traditions that I am observing. He isn?t having his hair cut until he is 3 years old when we will have a big party called an ?upsherin?. This word means literally to ?shear off? and it is a time when young Jewish boys have their hair cut and start to wear their yarmulke (head covering).
The first haircut has special significance in quite a few cultures and religions and is considered a rite of passage for Native American babies and some tribes commemorate the first haircut with a ritualistic dance. In addition, hair cutting has special significance for African Caribbean boys, Mongolian babies, and as well as Hindus.
The root of the Jewish ceremony ? the Upsherin - is from a verse in the Torah which compares man to a tree.
Just as a tree emerges from a tiny seed to grow tall and bear fruit, so a small child grows in knowledge and bears the fruit of his good deeds. Therefore, just as the Torah requires newly planted fruit trees to grow un-harvested for three years and offer the fruits to G-d, the tradition calls for leaving the boy's hair uncut.
So, in a few months we will have a party and all of DS?s family and friends will take a snip of his hair, and we will dance and sing and fuss over him. We will weigh his hair, and give a corresponding amount to charity and I will cry as I watch my baby take another step into toddlerhood and away from babyhood.
And I will feel proud that I am sharing ceremony, this tradition with my nearest and dearest, and I will dream, just for a moment that this ceremony is something I may share with a future grandson.
Indeed, it is this ?Passing on? that feels so lovely. Is it not a parents? task to give their children both roots and wings?
I think it is traditions which are both the ties that bind them to us, but which ultimately help them to become independent too, knowing they have this shared knowledge, these customs and these gifts can help them navigate their way through life knowing they are rooted too.