dreams upsetting me...

[itchybird]

My very good friend and ex boyfriend died 6mths ago (suicide). Me and DH were devastated at the time, as were all his family and friends.

However, in last few weeks I keep having recurring dreams where I bring him back to life! (so strange). Sometimes they are sexual, sometimes romantic..but they all seem to be that only I can bring him back to life. The last one involved all the women in his life (his girlfriend, his mum etc) saying 'i love you' to his dead body but only when I said it he came back to life. The dream then continues with him being alive again and everyone having a massive party and being so happy...then I wake up, realise he's gone again and just feel so sad all over again.

The grief seems to feel worse now than it did 6mths ago.

Don't know why I'm posting this, just wanted to get it off my chest I suppose.

[DutchOma]

Don't know anything about dream interpretation, but didn't want your post to go unanswered.
The suicide of your ex-boyfriend must be very hard for you and you may deep down feel that you have contributed to the feelings of despair that led him to commit suicide.
It happened to me too, years ago, only, he was the one to move away from a relationship that only really existed in my teenage mind. He married a lovely girl, had two children and then committed suicide. You always wonder whether there was anything you could have done to prevent tthat terrible event.
I think your dream is trying to come to terms with the loss in a strange way. Of course you WISH (dream) that you could bring him back to life and the dream makes that possible. It also makes it harder to come to terms with the actual loss. Are you in touch with his mum and his girlfriend, so you can talk about who he was and what he meant to you?