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The Reluctant Worshippers: Welcome to My Nice Warm Bath (with God): Or why relaxing is a virtue

(35 Posts)
revjustabout Fri 17-Oct-08 14:57:36

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Clockface Fri 17-Oct-08 14:59:36

Okay! Good for you, Morningpaper!

revjustabout Fri 17-Oct-08 15:00:09

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revjustabout Fri 17-Oct-08 15:00:36

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Clockface Fri 17-Oct-08 19:58:39

That is so true. I recently had an hour with a pyschotherapist who said lots of very nice things about me afterwards, but added that in the midst of all my commitments, relationships, stuff I do and sheer workload, I take time to be, in her word, frivolous.

It's not just me, though. My sister had a day at a swanky spa for her friend's birthday and found it almost impossible to relax and go with the flow.

I dn't thnk it's just to do with faith though; our society seems to define people by what they do. Just think of so many women who go through a real crisis of identity if tey give up work to be a SAHM for a while. It's really really deeply ingrained in us, and staking out a bit of time to be is very counter-cultural.

Time to put ds to bed!

revjustabout Fri 17-Oct-08 20:19:03

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MeAndB Fri 17-Oct-08 21:40:50

I try everyday to sit down for five minutes (try to do it for 15min, doesnt always work tho)with a cuppa tea and my bible. I try getting outside sitting in the comfort of Gods creation (while baby sleeps) and if its raining I stare out the window. Even if I dont read my bible, I chat with God, telling him whats going on in my life ( I know he knows!) but trying to be thankful everyday for what Ive got. This is all good in theory, but I dont get a chance to do it everyday, and I really wish I did, as afterwards I feel so refreshed

revjustabout Fri 17-Oct-08 21:53:26

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MaryBS Sat 18-Oct-08 12:06:29

I thought about replying to this earlier, but thought I'd take the hint and relax instead

Seriously though, opportunities to relax can be few and far between. I'm a dreadful insomniac though, and am usually awake for a couple of hours in the night. If I get up and try to do things, I really suffer for it in the morning.

So instead, I've taken to "meditating in the watches of the night" (why does that always give me the image of being surrounded by timepieces? ). I use the time to relax and pray, in the stillness, and in many ways its actually better than sleeping, as I feel rested but also have time to "commune with God".

Another thing I've taken to doing recently is playing Taize music in the car. Not so relaxing that I fall asleep though, but I love the sentiment "she who sings, prays twice"!

revjustabout Sat 18-Oct-08 15:24:01

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MaryBS Sat 18-Oct-08 19:28:36

Its attributed to St Augustine of Hippo, although its a shortened version of what he actually said.

NoblesseOblige Sat 18-Oct-08 19:37:03

what a lovely thing to read

revjustabout Sat 18-Oct-08 21:19:14

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MaryBS Sat 18-Oct-08 21:55:52

Re-reading what you put reminded me of St Paul, who every now and again said something worth quoting. "a little wine for your stomach's sake" is what sprung to mind!

amber32002 Sun 19-Oct-08 09:08:49

Mary, you mean we're not really supposed to meditate with watches? Now you tell me! grin

Relaxing? Ah yes, the one thing I find totally impossible. I just have to be Doing Something unless I'm watching a favourite tele programme. Really do need to learn to just 'be'. Can't get into a bath - sensory overload problems. Showers aren't the same, I expect.

Is it ok to 'enjoy doing something' rather than 'relax'?

Bishop Stephen has written some very good short books called "Do Nothing" and "Do Nothing - Christmas is Coming". Well worth seeking out, though I think he views me as a Lost Cause blush

MaryBS Sun 19-Oct-08 12:42:12

No, don't meditate with watches, the ticking will drive you mad (or it does me, anyway!)

revjustabout Sun 19-Oct-08 12:42:47

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amber32002 Sun 19-Oct-08 13:20:02

Never ask about my list of hobbies! grin

I find other people fascinating, yet mysterious. So often friends of mine relax in social situations (eek!) or by reading a women's magazine (What can it mean?! Why do I want to look at a celebrity's new facelift or her new partner?) or they relax by having a massage or facial (arrgh! People touching me!). Hubby's always saying "Why on earth do you spend time on the computer - you're supposed to be relaxing!" This IS me relaxing. Especially after this morning's huge church service and running out of courage to attend the social event afterwards.

I'm always challenged by the story of Martha and Mary, where one of them (I forget which) was rushing round the place tidying and cleaning and cooking, whilst the other was listening to Jesus. He told the busy one to sit down and jolly well listen for once. I'd find that SO hard if I knew that the place was a mess and I hadn't made any cakes Jesus had come to visit.

bythepowerofgreyskull Sun 19-Oct-08 21:19:19

Thank you .

it feels like through your words I have been given permission to stop for a while.

If I am physically still my brain is still going, list writting, planning, organising things.
Yesterday I put in extra hours and that has allowed me today to do the square root of nothing.

I will start again tomorrow but - once again - Thank you my family and I have enjoyed me doing nothing today. smile

revjustabout Sun 19-Oct-08 21:33:11

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amber32002 Mon 20-Oct-08 07:35:59

Hope your cold is much better soon, Revjustabout. Doing nothing might be just the thing.

Women's magazines often do seem to be full of ways to criticise women. Most of them urge us to do more and more and more, it seems to me. Be the perfect housewife, the perfect mum, the perfect employee, the perfect lover, the perfect size, look as if you're 20 again by buying these clothes and shoes and this makeup, style your hair like this celebrity in only half an hour in the morning (I wish!), make your house look like a million dollars by buying this kitchen, exercise more, banish those stretch marks, cook this three course meal for your man otherwise he'll leave you, spot these ten symptoms that mean your whole family may be desperately ill (eek), be a financial wizard...I get exhausted and downhearted just reading one sometimes. Hardly ever a word about how we can feel good about being ourselves, and proud of small things, it seems.

revjustabout Mon 20-Oct-08 11:54:53

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ZipadiSuzy Wed 22-Oct-08 14:31:52

Wow its taken me over 1 hour to catch up on reflections of 3 weeks, well done all your input, I've had a hoot of a time, very relaxed and now ready to face this evening, thank you.

(Even though I have mixed up visions of Igle-piggle praying in dungeries that are too small with ice-cream all down him, so has to have a relaxing bath then put on an off white dressing gown) hmmgrinwink

Love it!

justaboutoccasionallyswears Wed 22-Oct-08 14:38:16

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MaryBS Wed 22-Oct-08 16:11:19

Definitely, just DON'T let him near the communion wine

Well done on PhD stuff - I can't persuade you to help me with my Ethix essay, could I hmm

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