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Leaving religion

(4 Posts)
CymryYnGroeg Thu 25-Sep-08 14:06:22

I have namechanged to post this.

I was just wondering if anyone else is in the same situation as me. I grew up in a very religious family, and for years I participated. But now I have re-examined the beliefs and find that I do not believe any more. I am not even sure if I believe in God any more, but a lot of the rest just doesn't make sense to me any more.

The thing is, I can't tell anyone in real life. My family would be horrified. I tried to bring the subject up tentatively with my dh, but I couldn't tell him the whole truth.

I feel sad about it, but I can't go back to the way it was. I don't know where to go from here, though. It feels strange not to have religion there any more. Can anyone else relate to this?

Elasticwoman Thu 25-Sep-08 20:50:52

Cymry - let them be horrified. They must know that they are in the minority anyway. If you don't believe, why go through the motions just to save your family from being horrified? I take it you are over 18.

Have the courage of your unconvictions.

conkertree Thu 25-Sep-08 21:02:28

cymry - I grew up in a family that were relatively religious but not overly so, and religion was just something that I sort of accepted, probably because my parents did so I assumed they must be right.

DH is employed by a church as a youth worker, and although does believe in God etc, isnt in your face religious (for want of a better expression).

Recently though, my dad has been talking more and more about how he now thinks that religion was just started to keep people in their place etc etc and how God is necessary for some people, but he doesn't need to belive any more, and so doesnt.

Now that he has expressed this view, its made me start to question why I belive certain things too. I think I probably still believe in a God, but as you say - the rest doesnt really make much sense to me either.

I think that what you believe can be a lot about how you were brought up and who around you believes certain things, but when you really examine your own thoughts, you cant simply just fit in with what other people want.

It doesnt necessarily have to be a major problem though does it? For example, with us, DH knows that I now have more doubts than I used to, but he is happy to agree to disagree, and enjoys having debates with me now about our views. I still take ds to church as dh works there on a Sunday and the church is full of nice people who really like to see ds - that may be hypocrtical of me to go, but at the same time, my thoughts on church are that it should be open to anyone who wants to go - believer or not - if they respect the rest of the people who go etc.

sorry has been a bit of a ramble, but your post certainly resonated with me.

serin Thu 25-Sep-08 21:19:50

Did you never really believe in the first place, or has something happened recently to make you feel this way?

I left the Church as soon as I left for uni' as fast as my legs would carry me!! and I never missed it for a second.

I was an atheist for 18 years before finding a true faith of my own, and when I was least expecting to.

I think you need to talk to your DH though or he will be expecting you to trot off down to Church with him come Sunday!

Are you scared of his reaction?

Even if you are married to the archbishop of Canterbury, you have a right to your own beliefs and your DH will have to respect that.

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