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Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

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Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Philosophy/religion

My DS can now tell the difference between alive and dead people

42 replies

Nat1H · 20/09/2008 21:18

He is 5 and has has seen many dead people, and described them in detail to us. We have 2 men, a rabbit and a dog in the house. We also have a girl (who he has named Suki) who sits in a particular chair, reading a book. When she has finished reading, she slams the book down on the arm of the chair, and frightens my DS (he hates sudden, loud noises).
The other day, he was playing with something dangerous, so I said "Don't play with that - it's dangerous and could kill you"
He replied... "Then I'd be dead - like Suki (pointing) in there."
I must admit, this comment made me go cold. I am not scared by it - I have got used to him describing people to me, but how much further will this progress?
If you are phsychic - when did you begin to realise the difference?

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onager · 20/09/2008 22:12

Does he go to playgroup/nursary/school? I wondered what they would make of it.

Goober · 20/09/2008 22:14

Can he tell them to go away?
Will they?

cornsilk · 20/09/2008 22:21

Couldn't he be just making it up?

Nat1H · 20/09/2008 22:22

onager - what do you mean?
He never has told them to go away - he is not bothered by it - it's just a matter of fact to him. It's me that it worries (especially when I hear footsteps around my bed and I don't know who it is!!!)

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Nat1H · 20/09/2008 22:24

Cornsilk - he has brain damage and his speech isn't great. To be perfectly honest, he isn't CAPABLE of making ANYTHING up - never mind things like these!

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PeaMcLean · 20/09/2008 22:24

Is she not just an imaginary friend?

LaVie · 20/09/2008 22:24

it sounds as though he may have picked up on your belief that there are other people around and just elaborated on that.

PeaMcLean · 20/09/2008 22:24

Sorry x posts Nat

cornsilk · 20/09/2008 22:28

Sorry to hear that he has brain damage Nat.
Maybe you should distract him with something else if he mentions the 'dead people' and he might eventually forget.

Nat1H · 20/09/2008 22:31

I have never spoken about my beliefs to him. I don't encourage him when he tells me things - I just listen.
He has pointed to people who haven't been there loads of times. He can describe them in great detail - and these descriptions NEVER change.
My son cannot make things up - or remember what he has said in the past. He takes lots of prompting to describe things to you in RL, so he would not be able to describe these things if he hadn't really seen them.
I don't need anyone to tell me this is not happening - my husband tries to do that. I KNOW this is real to him. I wanted someone to let me know what might happen next - will he become scared by all this (like me) or take it all in his stride ?

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Goober · 20/09/2008 22:38

I believe you.
He is not frightened now, so I doubt that will change. These "people" aren't harming him so why would his opinion change?

mabanana · 20/09/2008 22:42

I hate to disagree with you, but it seems clear to me he IS capable of imagining things as that is exactly what he is doing. You are clearly a superstitious person who is projecting your beliefs on your child. Of course if he gets your full attention when he talks about these things that is very reinforcing for him and he wil continue to do it, and to elaborate. Your fascinated attention is hugely rewarding for him. Please, it's morbid, just be cheerful about it, pay it little attention and distract him and this stuff will fade. And maybe you could give your son credit for his imagination? Well done him!

Nat1H · 20/09/2008 22:42

Can he tell 'Suki' to stop banging her book? He is terrified of her!
Who is she likely to be? (all the others were family members)

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onager · 20/09/2008 22:44

Nat1H, I know what I think, but whether I am right or you are right my advice is the same. You need to ask an expert in child development because they will know more about how children cope with various changes in their environment and how to help them do so.

Nat1H · 20/09/2008 22:44

mabanana - you have OBVIOUSLY not witnessed this type of behaviour (or met my son!)
I beg to differ

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mabanana · 20/09/2008 22:45

If he is frightening himself then all the more reason to be cheerful but not to encourage this behaviour. The more you are fascinated by it, the more it will continue. Distract him, change the subject - 'that's nice dear, look, let's read this book/feed the ducks/make some biscuits/play with your trains/help me peg out the washing'
It all sounds very morbid and not very healthy to encourage this.

Nat1H · 20/09/2008 22:46

Changes in their environment??
I have no idea what you are talking about - you need to be more specific I'm afraid!

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Nat1H · 20/09/2008 22:48

I DON'T encourage this! I DO distract him - but he always instigates it.
I am sorry, but if my child is worried about soemthing, then I listen and try to reassure them. Then I move on.

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Goober · 21/09/2008 11:52

I think he can tell them to go away. His own spirit guide should send them packing.

mabanana · 21/09/2008 12:50

This section of the board is insane. This child does not see dead people, and doesn't have a 'spirit guide', he's just a little boy who has realised that this sort of talk earns him his mother's full and rapt attention.
It's not right to encourage it.

onager · 21/09/2008 14:15

Nat1H, that was me trying to be tactful so as not to hurt your feelings. You're teaching your child to see things that aren't there and that is unhealthy. Even if you're not intending to your reaction is still an encouragement.

There are no dead people there for him to see. Now while he could invent seeing people he has to have got the idea of them being dead from someone. So unless someone else is telling him they are dead I'm assuming that was you.

You need to get advice on how to get him to forget about it for his sake.

Goober · 21/09/2008 14:17

And clearly you have not read the thread properly.

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onager · 21/09/2008 14:24

It's me that it worries (especially when I hear footsteps around my bed and I don't know who it is!!!)>>

Nat1H, does this mean you see/hear them too?

Goober. Who hasn't?

SaintGeorge · 21/09/2008 15:19

May I politely point out that this thread is in the Spirituality topic.

Everyone has a right to their own personal beliefs. If yours is to not believe in spirits or life after death or psychic abilities, fair enough. Please though, do not come on this topic and denigrate the beliefs of others by saying things like "This section of the board is insane".

If you wish to discuss it, maybe start a thread of your own with an appropriate title.

Nat, try talking to DS about Suki the next time he mentions her. Don't raise the subject yourself, wait for his instigation. Given the opportunity, maybe suggest to him that he asks Suki to be more considerate of his feelings.

Also, I suggest you don't talk of things killing him, no matter how dangerous they are. Say they may hurt him, maybe even hurt a lot and that you would be sad to see that, but maybe not mention death and killing at such a young age.

Best of luck.

Nat1H · 21/09/2008 16:47

Not mention death and killing at such a young age!!
What do we see on he news all the time?
When someone has been stabbed to death what do you expect me to say - oh dear, a naughty person has scratched a child??
I believe in being realistic - whatever age the child. In this day and age, they need to understand the dangers of the society we live in.
And no, my kids aren't petrified of going out and being killed. I have approached it in a matter of fact style, with no scare -mongering!

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