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Philosophy/religion

MIL pushing religion on my kids......

7 replies

Titania · 26/11/2004 16:02

Please don't lynch me.......

I have not religion at all....I don't even believe in god.

However MIL is pushing religion onto my kids adn I don't like it. She buys them religious stories and bibles all the time and hides them round the house. She asks to take them to church and join the juniour church club which I always decline. She pushes religous leaflets through our door.

She is constantly telling me I am wrong for not having my kids christened.

At the end of the day I am not against it, but I don't see why I should be a hypocrite and have them christened. If they turn round to me in a few years time and want to be christened then fair enough.......thats their choice.

I just wish she would stop pushing it on my kids.

DH is with me on this.......yet he won't confront his mother about this......he will confront her about everything else but for some reason not religion. I don't know how I can tell her to let it drop without saying 'SOD OFF'...I have been polite.....even went as far as to ignore her for a few weeks when she told me I was evil for not having my children christened......

OP posts:
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aloha · 26/11/2004 16:04

I'd hate this too. I'd chuck out the bumf and keep on declining her kind offers. She sounds a loon.

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vict17 · 26/11/2004 16:11

I think you should get your dh to have a word with her - it's not up to you to tell his side of the family what's what. Totally out of order of her imo!!

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CarrieG · 26/11/2004 16:18

I'd absolutely hate it too.

Think I'd gather up all tracts, etc, & hand them back to her every time you see her - with as little comment as possible.

Dh tends to get rid of door-to-door religious types by saying 'I'll take one of YOUR leaflets if you take one of mine'...& attempting to hand them one of his Buddhist tracts - they usually react like a vampire confronted with a crucifix!

But seriously can you just sit MIL down & tell her that you'd prefer to wait until your kids express their own opinions & then, if they want to know about her faith, you'll be happy for her to talk to them about it, but can she back off meanwhile? Ash her how SHE'D have felt if someone had tried to tell HER what religion she should bring dh up in when he was too small to decide for himself!

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amynnixmum · 26/11/2004 16:26

Speaking as someone who does follow a faith (although not madly religious) I think she is completely out of order. It is yours and your dh decision about how to bring up your children and noone elses. Given the amount of trouble and hate in this world that results from religious fantacism it is madness to think that it is the be all and end all. What is important is how you live your lives and not whether you attend church every sunday. My dh and I were both lapsed (dh still is) when dd was born but decided that we wanted to get her christened anyway. My mum asked if it would be alright to take dd to church with her when she was about 18 months old and we were all staying over at my parents house. DD liked it and she started going every sunday that we were over there. Eventually i went back to church myself as dd enjoyed it so much. Can't believe she called you evil

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mummytummy · 26/11/2004 16:38

I agree with amynnixmum. I go to church, and would never try and push my religion on somebody else. If you wanted them to be brought up with a religious background, you would, and that would be your choice, so she should leave you alone. Can't you tell her that you want your children to have the choice whether or not they want to be christened (although she does sound totally unreasonable, so she probably wouldn't listen)? My mum had the same problem with her MIL (my nan), and ended up getting my two older brothers christened, but put her foot down with me. She told my nan that she would be having me christened for all the wrong reasons, and therefore robbing me of a christening in older life, should I choose to be christened (this wasn't her view, by the way, she just said it to shut my nan up!!). I was actually baptised about 5 years ago now.

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mumwithnoname · 26/11/2004 17:41

agree with the others- i am a christian but I would never shove it down someones' throat (and it normally has the opposite effect anyway!!) Maybe she's doing it out of misguided love though. I do remember- as a very enthusiastic teenager- telling my parents they were going to hell!!!!Don't know what to suggest though other then try to reason with her!

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Twiglett · 26/11/2004 17:48

agree with everyone

BUT

nothing you do will change what she's doing so in order to retain your sanity you need to try and look at it in a different light

she's not trying to cross you, she's trying to do what she believes is right for her grandchildren

laugh at the stuff she posts and bin it

smile at her when she mentions something and say something innocuous like 'I'll think about it'

you need to try to rise above it or it will become a far worse pain in your side

your children will believe what they believe when they get to the age they can choose .. if they see you totally anti it they'll probably believe in it to spite you

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