If you're religious, how do you explain 'bad things happening to good people'?

[PinkPugInShades]

Not in anyway intending to be goady but I'm really curious about this subject at the moment.

I was brought up in the church of England and my family are still religious. I stopped when I was a teen and haven't been back since but it's still always there in the background so I wouldn't even kno what I believed anymore.

I've suffered a lot recently. Pregnancy loss at varying stages and am in a lot of pain.

I realise I'm probably looking for someone/something to blame but I feel such a hatred for 'god' if he's out there at the moment that I find myself screaming at him sometimes when I'm alone.

If you believe, why would he let this happen? I'm sick of hearing that it's his plan for me. Why would he want this to be my plan?

[NabooThatsWho]

I have heard a lot of religious people blame ‘sin’ for bad things happening, or blaming people. Or yeah, it’s part of gods plan. Pretty shit plan if you ask me.
But god created and controls the whole universe, you can’t blame him though. Not sure why......

[Danni91]

I'm sorry for what you've been through.

I'm not religious in the slightest and never have been but I've wondered this in the past myself
I think they put it down to free will.
Ie God (or whoever else) made us free but can't pick the roads people choose to go down
Diseases being man made from not living off the land as designed and such

I think you'll never find an answer to help you through your tough times unless you have a genuine faith and belief

I hope you cross a corner into happier times, life can be real shitty sometimes and not much can match a loss of a child. Im sorry for your loss

[PinkPugInShades]

I have heard a lot of religious people blame ‘sin’ for bad things happening

Yes I've heard this before.

I'm not perfect no but I don't see what I could have done in comparison to the child abuser on TV who goes on to have 5 more children, that is so wrong that I deserve this.

I've yet to hear a good enough explanation from anyone I've met on this subject.

[PinkPugInShades]

Danni, thank you

[Twillow]

Not sure you'll get any good answers to this!
One of the main reasons I'm an atheist...

[Patchworksack]

I'm a Christian. I've had 4 MC and then my rainbow daughter had a potentially life changing illness as a small baby. I've done my share of raging at God. Now I go to church and I'm surrounded by people who I know are going through illness, bereavement, debt, marriage breakdown, but they are still turning up, trusting God. I don't think God chooses to send this stuff to people and I don't think being 'good' in any way protects you from the shitty hands life sometimes deals out. You didn't 'deserve' it. He does promise to walk through it with you, if you let him. I'm really sorry for your losses, it is a tough thing to go through.

[CardinalSin]

They can't. That's why they come up with mealy-mouthed excuses like "sin" and "free will". It's called cognitive dissonance.

[NabooThatsWho]

I don't think God chooses to send this stuff to people

But if he controls the whole universe, and has everything planned out, sure he did choose to do these bad things?
Also, what is the point of prayer?

[PinkPugInShades]

Patchwork, thank you. I do really appreciate replies.

I find it so difficult to believe. I feel like it's so contradictory to what we are told in church for example. I actually went not long ago to a service, not for me but I went with my Gran and I was listening to the service and it was all about how God can do wonderful things for us if we choose to let him in etc etc.

I've literally been on my hands and knees, in more pain than I have ever experienced in my life, begging him to help me and he never does. I can't think of anything wonderful in my life that he has ever done for me. Even when I did believe.

I honestly admire people who can keep faith through situations like this because it's pushed me even further away than I have been before.

[CassianAndor]

I find this difficult as well.

I know a woman who has a very strong faith, as does her DH, both very good, kind, generous people and yet they have been dealt an awful, awful hand (not going into details here). I just don't know how you can't see that as a big 'fuck you' from God. I don't know how all their friends at church can't see that. And yet they don't.

[FamilyOfAliens]

He does promise to walk through it with you, if you let him

That’s fine if you believe it and the thing that’s happening to you is ongoing.

How does it work when people die as a result of something bad happening to them? People who are murdered, who die in a terrorist attack, from starvation in a war-torn country or as a result of a natural disaster? How do you walk someone through something if they’re dead?

[rushingriver]

I think the way our genes are affected by the environment and our behaviour and how that in turn affects us (through epigenetics) is a good illustration.

Sin is simply going against what God would have us do. It can be accidental or we can commit sin innocently in ignorance. Yet it will affect us and other people, the environment (and so in turn other people) and our future generations through the way it affects our bodies and gene express which can be passed onto our children.

We need to get very close to God not to sin because a list of rules simply doesn't cover all the situations we might find ourselves in. And everything we do affects ourselves, everything and everyone else through the knock on effects of it.

[rushingriver]

I think the way our genes are affected by the environment and our behaviour and how that in turn affects us (through epigenetics) is a good illustration.

Sin is simply going against what God would have us do. It can be accidental or we can commit sin innocently in ignorance. Yet it will affect us and other people, the environment (and so in turn other people) and our future generations through the way it affects our bodies and gene express which can be passed onto our children.

We need to get very close to God not to sin because a list of rules simply doesn't cover all the situations we might find ourselves in. And everything we do affects ourselves, everything and everyone else through the knock on effects of it.

[Babdoc]

I think you’re misunderstanding God’s role in your life, OP.
He is not there to deal with physical pain- for that you need painkillers, your GP, or a specialist such as a pain consultant.
God’s role is to support your soul in its spiritual growth, and welcome you to your eternal home when this imperfect physical life is over.
He is perfectly well aware of pain- He suffered the agony of a brutal flogging and hours hanging tortured on a cross. Put there by humans.

[PinkPugInShades]

I'm not talking about physical pain. I'm talking about the mental torture of my situation.

I've yet to find a good explanation as to why God allows it to happen. He brings me no peace, comfort or anything. I'm not saying he has to give me a baby. But mentally, I feel no calmness, no care, no love.

I don't feel loved by him in any way yet he's supposed to love us like his children. If he did, he'd help me. I understand free will but I didn't choose this.

[PinkPugInShades]

My soul can never grow spiritually if I have no trust in God. I've seen no reason to do so in my life. Even when I was going to church, my home life was shocking.

I've seen no evidence that God cares about me at all or wants to walk with me through anything. To me, the whole thing just seems very 'give but get nothing in return'.

[rushingriver]

I think because everything affects everything else, because we all connect whether we like it or not, we are affected and are affected by each and everyone's mistakes and wrong doing. Discord and disharmony is caused. The only way to follow God's plan is close communion with Him. My belief is that we were created to have this close communion. When we are separate things go wrong.

[NOFUCKINGNOPE]

What is the point in prayer if he never answers? In going to church every week if you never feel comforted in your problems? In believing that God loves you like you're his child if you never feel like he shows it?

I think, if I believed in God, he's far crueler than people want to admit.

[salmonrose]

I was taught by a priest (not exactly but priest is the best translation here) that life is just life and good and bad stuff just happens. God isn't the orchestrator of your life, he is just there to support you mentally if you seek him. Its easier to go through life when someone is holding your hand, and that is what religion does.

[FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18]

This is perhaps more of a New Age way of seeing it rather than traditionally religious, but I've heard it put like this:

If we start from the premise that we are eternal beings who choose to "visit" earth in mortal human bodies, we're simply experiencing "contrast" and learning what we never could in any other way. Sort of "you can't appreciate your eternal nature until you've experienced mortality, you can't appreciate perfect God-love until you've experienced pain, hatred etc."

I realise this is mumsnet so the above is likely to go down about as well as a bucket of cold sick, but it's a philosophy which has helped me 😆

[PinkPugInShades]

Thank you!

I think I just have far too much anger at the moment.

[ParkheadParadise]

I was brought up in the Catholic faith. When I had Dd1 I stopped practicing my faith( no real reason). I did attend Mass every week with dd1.
Dd1 was murdered when she was 23. The priest came to the house to arrange her funeral I can clearly remember being fucking furious at him and God.
Shortly after the funeral, I gave birth to Dd2. I started to attend Mass again.
I find a small comfort sitting quietly in the chapel, lightening a candle. I've found the priest someone I can talk too, who isn't family.
When my mum died ( she was ill for a long time)2 yrs after dd i definitely had the thoughts why does God let bad things keep happening to my family.
DH has never been back to chapel since dd died.
When I'm having a bad day
I have a very strong faith that dd is with my mum and when my time comes I will be reunited with them.

[rushingriver]

I think too what we think can manifest physically. Thoughts are actions. At the simplest level what we think effects the physiology of our brains which in turn affects our bodies, our actions and what we pass onto our children.

What is past affects the future in such a way. I also think the future can affect the past, in that if God has a certain plan for you, you have a destiny, then if you choose to follow God's will for you what He has destined for you will affect your present.

I think the disharmony caused by sin and not following God's will causes a wave type effect where things have to happen, an opposite reaction, in order to bring things back into harmony. This can bring suffering in the short term but achieve good in the long term. Like when your body brings about a fever to eliminate an infection. However I also think this mechanism can be out of sync with God's will and our reactions can be too forceful,

[ZenNudist]

Wow. Lots of anger OP. Sending

The problem of evil is an essay topic. Can't begin to get into it with you. Google,?

God loves you. Never believe anything else.

[MrsNotNice]

Because patience is the fastest way to paradise !