Am I reading too much into this?

[Novacane]

Bit of quick background-

My Mum's side of my family are very spiritual, they often see things and my cousin is very psychic. My Mum and aunt are identical twins and although don'r see each other too much know exactly whats going on in each other's lives. For example, when I had my DS, my Mum was with me (she wasn't supposed to be), and my aunt knew the exact minute he was born etc etc I could go on.... etc.

I have always struggled with religion, I know something is there but I'm not sure what. I believe in the after life, although not sure why I believe in it, i'm not convinced that it is not just a tool I use to deal with bereavement.( I have had a few close ones)

May 2004- my DS was 5 weeks old and my best friend hung herself. FOr the first few weeks I tried and tried to think oh, shes here, but never felt anything. I still don't in a lot of respects but over the last year or so I have begun to feel things. At first it was dreams, bloody vivid dreams that were amazing and made me feel exhausted at the same time. I woke up and was bereaved all over again cos I had to realise she was gone.

But now it's different. It's really hard to explain and I probably sound like a nutter, but hey ho lol. I will replay a conversation in my head, for example, I was at my docotrs talking about another doctor (iwork with GP's), and as I was driving to work the next day I replayed the conversation in my head, the said doctor drove past.

I always think oh, I need to ring so and so- and they ring me.

I was in a right stinker of a mood one day and it was raining and I didnt want to go out. DP came home for lunch and said lets go to asda etc etc, I said no i don't want to im miserable (I'm assuming it was PMT, I was teary etc), I wasa teary and snappy all round asda and as we were driving home we saw a woman get knocked over- we were first on the scene and stayed with her till the paramdics came- she suffered massive head injuries and died. I knoew I didn't want to go out that day!!!

Things like this happen say a few times a week now, (not the knocked down woman but you know what I mean)

My cousin thinks I am going the same way as her and to see it as a gift.

I would like to think it is my friend looking over my shoulder..

Am I going bonkers???

[cornsilk]

I really don't know Novacane. I used to have vivid dreams about my dad for many years after died that he was still alive. I think that might be normal. Don't know about the other stuff tho'.

[fransmom]

you're NOT going bonkers.

this is difficult to say and explain. sometimes, people who have just died are very tired. it takes a lot of energy for them to be able to visit a person and it can also take practice. that's not to say that your friend didn't want to come thru at all. she, her spirit, may have needed some help to understand what happened to her and to work thru some issues she may have had.

i too have vivid dreams about my mother - she died 8 years ago last month. i no longer see my dad and was asking my mom why why why? sooner or later i had a dream in which i saw my mom and dad and my mom spoke to me about my dads reasons. these are called dream visits and are completely natural although they may take you some time to get your head round the idea.

could you loook on it as similar to seeing an in body friend coming to see you for a coffee that you haven't seen for a while and then they have to go, just when you were starting to enjoy your chat? it may help to know that as your friend gets more experienced at visiting you her energy levels will increase as will yours and the communication channels will stay open longer.

alos, maybe your friend ahs decided to stay around you for a while to help you get used to her being the other side of life?

hth fm x