ds asking why friend can't go to birthday parties who is jehovahs witness,how do I explain?

[brimfull]

is anyone a witness,how do you explain to you children.
Ds keeps asking if really good friend will be at the parties he goes to.
So far have just said he can't go but feel he's old enough now for some other explanation,but what.

They don't believe in birthdays has ended up confusinf him...why/how old are they/

somebody give me a simple answer to satisfy 4 yr old please

[SueBaroo]

Well, how about really emphasizing the good bits, that's what most JWs I know do. So like, ''friend' doesn't celebrate birthdays, but he will still be happy for you when you have your party'.

[TheodoresMummy]

Why don't JWs celebrate birthdays ?

[lemonaid]

I'm not a witness, but IIRC the idea is that each day is a gift from God and is just as special as every other, so it's wrong to single out any individual day as being particularly special. There's a Bible verse somewhere that vaguely supports this but I can't remember where.

There are some JW mothers on here, though, so I'm sure someone will be along soon to explain.

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[collision]

Try saying something along the lines of

Everyone is different and some do birthdays and some do not. Matthew doesnt do birthdays but that doesnt mean we cant be friends with him.

why dont we ask him to come over to play one day and he can stay for tea?

[brimfull]

well I asked the mother of the JW child and she said "just say we don't do birthdays"

DS questioned why and I said I didn't know but that he's see xx at the park bldeeblah,which satisfied him at the time.

Hie little friend xx was sobbing when he came out of preschool because he couldn't go to the party with everyone.Must be hard at this young age for them.

[edam]

Based on my limited knowledge of JWs (dh's cousins) I'd say it's because they are very uptight and enjoy being effing miserable. But that may just be dh's family...

[brimfull]

think you may be a leeetle bit biased against edam
actually the mum makes a big effort for the children for other things that aren't birthdays or religious celebrations,like nursery outings get togethers

[Grooveisintheheart]

nanny and grandad dont do birthdays, xmas, halloweeen, easter etc, and my kids understand that. (7 and4, not sure 2yr old gets it). but they still have loads of fun, and nanny and grandad treat them in other ways.

[Iwonderwhy]

It is really hard being a witness as there are so many things that JWs dont do.

However, their beliefs are based on what the Bible says and there are 2 accounts in the Bible of birthdays where they ended in someone being beheaded and were celebrated by pagans who didnt believe in the true God.

JWs try to distance themselves from celebrations that stem from pagan worship and birthdays is one of them.

JWs have lots of fun and dont think that parties are bad or wicked. They are not boring of stuckup or effing miserable. You will probably find JW mums to be some of the most supportive mums at school fetes or school trips that do not have any religious connotations.

they love cake and dancing and having fun. They just dont celebrate birthdays.

[edam]

We were invited round to dh's cousins for dinner once. I went into the garden for a cigarette (this was in the days when it was actually unusual to go outside). Dh told me later his (male) cousin had exclaimed 'I can't believe you let Edam smoke'.

[Iwonderwhy]

That is nothing to do with being a JW (though although JWs dont smoke).

that is just because he is a bit of a plank!

[Grooveisintheheart]

let you lol.

any smokers at my parents house must go outside.

[Iwonderwhy]

But I would imagine that most non-smoking people would prefer smokers to go outside, wouldnt they?

JWs or not.

[MascaraOHara]

I think I would tell my dd (nearly 5)

"X doesn't go to parties because of the religion that x and his family follow"

[edam]

of course, it's just that in 1990 or whenever it was it was quite unusual for smokers to go outside. So I was being thoughtful by going out of the house, rather than even asking 'is it OK'. And then got Mr Male Chauvinist Pig ranting to dh about 'allowing' me to do x, y or z. Dh was rather taken aback.

[edam]

Well, there is quite a lot of sexism associated with JWs, isn't there? Don't they belive the man is the head of the household and his word goes? Certainly dh was horrified by the service at his cousin's wedding, apparently lots of mentions of the woman obeying orders (even if you choose to say 'obey' in the CofE, you only have to say it once, they don't go on and on about it).