Help! I have THE worst crush on my priest...

[ThisReallyIsNotOn]

Happily married, believing Catholic here.

Have known this priest for two years. He's around the same age as me, we have the same inappropriate sense of humour, get on very well indeed and are both extremely devout.

I stress he has done absolutely nothing to encourage this, he's behaved without reproach - and, to be fair, apart from my heart beating like a feckless teen when he's around, so have I.

I am totally befuddled by this - I haven't had a crush like this in years, and I'm not enjoying it nearly as much as I might because it's so wildly out of order and unhelpful. I can't even do what I would perhaps do if it was anyone else - go to confession and deal with the guilt!

He's leaving next year, and I am so relieved by that, it's ridiculous. But I am a bundle of conflicting emotions and unbidden naughty thoughts, and totally unable to talk to anyone about it!!!

[Vitalogy]

Have a watch of The Thorn Birds, it didn't end well.

You're are human, nuff said

Can you do some romantic things with your husband to take your mind off.

[BrownTurkey]

At least he is leaving soon. In my experience the best thing to do is take a step back, don’t feed it. Don’t choose to sit near him, no physical contact, no looking, start conversations with others, be kind and polite but avoid the humour. And no - erm - imagining. And remember others will notice! If that helps you do it. Laugh at yourself.

[ThisReallyIsNotOn]

Yep, I am definitely not feeding or indulging it (Which is why it's no bloody fun!) And, like I say, I was so pleased to hear he was leaving and I can go back to daily mass without steeling myself to really, really concentrate on the liturgy.

But I dreamed about him last night and have no control over that sort of thing which is just irritating. I can't not go to obligatory masses just because he's presiding...

[ThisReallyIsNotOn]

Lol @ the Thorn Birds reference. My mum was obsessed with Richard Chamberlain.

[DontDribbleOnTheCarpet]

It's perfectly normal to feel like this. According to my priest (who is great fun but thankfully not at all attractive) sin only happens when you give in to temptation. Being tempted isn't sinful until you act on the temptation. So don't feel too bad about it, it's a thing that happens sometimes.
Could you switch parishes for a few weeks? I go to Confession in the next parish because my priest is a good friend and confessing to him seems weird! Perhaps a little distance would help, maybe with the excuse that you enjoy travelling to different churches while the weather is good.

[ThisReallyIsNotOn]

Yep, good reminder, temptation isn't sin. And thank you for the reassurance that I'm not an outlandish freak and it's not unusual to fancy a clever, funny, kind and attractive man. Just because he wears a cassock doesn't mean he's a different species.

[ThisReallyIsNotOn]

I'm hoping that summer will bring an influx of visiting priests to do mass, which will short circuit a lot of the being unable to avoid him.

[ThisReallyIsNotOn]

Thanking God right now, just been to mass and it was a visiting priest. Respite for a week at least!!!

[LunaLovegoodsRadishes]

I have had crushes on people who are not my husband. Normal. Never acted on them. I am an atheist so cannot offer advice religiously speaking, but apart from staying away from your priest and doing something romantic with your husband, you have to sit the crush out. Then in a few months, you’ll realise how silly it was. Me: three times.

[MarcieBlue]

Have minimal contact. A quick hi and bye.

It's forbidden so I understand. I had a thing for my hospital nurse because of the caring nature.

[PaintBySticker]

You can’t help how you feel but you can help what you do. Which you are, I know. Make it as easy as possible on yourself by avoiding contact as per suggestions above. Perhaps a date night with your husband to redirect the energy?

[Charliebong]

Any advice on how to handle a crush when you're both single?!

[JoyceDivision]

With hot sex, Charlie

[Charliebong]

that as happened (in my mind!)

[Rebecca36]

Relax, it happens :-). I promise you it will pass.

[Vitalogy]

Is there anything in particular stopping you going for it Charliebong?

[WellySocksBox]

My mother developed a massive crush on a gay monk when I was a teenager. I think she hoped that he would leave the monastery (attached to my DB's school), suddenly see the light and become a veritable stud muffin and sweep her off her feet. She kept inviting him round, she wangled a job so that she could work with him and the whole thing was dreadfully embarrassing for everyone around.

Lust away, but leave it all in your head!!!

[Charliebong]

Is it "acceptable" for the vicar to date a member of his congregation? ...honestly he's so my cup of tea.

I attend Bible classes at the vicarage as well as Sunday service and we do get along...but he has to be nice and interested in everyone right?

My gut feeling tells me he likes me...but I can't seem to trust my instinct as I would with a "normal" guy...because the nature of his job means being warm and friendly to everyone ...it's bloomin typical, I rarely meet guys I'd actually want to date.

[Vitalogy]

Yes it's acceptable. Are you ever on your own with him? Any particular activities you're both interested in, could you suggest having a go at that together.

[Charliebong]

Vitality, thank you for helping...and sorry Noton for hijacking your thread.

He's difficult to get him by himself and he always seems so busy...but I will look for an opportunity

[Vitalogy]

Good luck.

[Charliebong]

Agghh autocorrect !!! Thanks Vitalogy (not Vitality!)

[Vitalogy]

That's ok

[heartsease68]

What a nightmare. You have all my sympathy.

If it's any consolation, he is probably quite used to dealing with this and will see it as natural human weakness.

[sexnotgender]

I’m married to a super hot minister

Sorry if that doesn’t help

It’s very normal to be attracted to intelligent men in positions of power. Most ministers are very highly educated and generally caring. A very attractive combination