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How much to give every week at Church?

(80 Posts)
GloGirl Sun 31-Jul-16 14:51:28

Just curious. I realise what I grew up with was not the norm from a different thread, where my Mum and I were poor and paid up to £1 between us.

I'm about to set up a standing order with the Church and wondering what to do. DH thinks £20 a month my heart says £40.

We are a family of 5 that are starting to attend Catholic church.

Floggingmolly Sun 31-Jul-16 14:53:36

Wasn't it originally called a tithe; that is, a tenth of your income?
Not really doable these days...

sonlypuppyfat Sun 31-Jul-16 15:01:05

Well can't you just work out what your expendable income is and give according to that, I really struggle when the collection plate comes round. I'm struggling but bishops live in palaces?

GloGirl Sun 31-Jul-16 15:11:43

We have good income but overspend every month. I'm trying to stop that - but it means we are a world away from poor but not cash rich either so I can't work out what we have left over to spend that way.

SillySongsWithLarry Sun 31-Jul-16 15:28:55

I give 10% of my income and put 10% into savings. 80% is plenty to live on. People live to their limits and spend more as they earn more. As I have always lived to 80% of income I don't notice the other 20%.

Reallyhard Sun 31-Jul-16 15:31:01

If you really want to give according to God's guidance you ought to be giving at least 10% of your income. It sounds like a lot, but if you take it out at the start and then consider the 90% that remains as your monthly income then you don't really miss it after a few months.

niminypiminy Sun 31-Jul-16 16:00:21

I find a standing order means that I don't have to to think every week or month.

Why not give £30 which is halfway between what you and your husband think. Your contribution - whatever it is - is incredibly valuable.

(Btw some bishops might live in palaces but others don't, and they don't own them! And they don't earn that much either.(

LaurieFairyCake Sun 31-Jul-16 17:16:01

I find this really hard and we've fudged this for years as we don't agree.

I think we're going to end up with just dh doing 10% of his and me just resenting that it means we won't ever get a decent holiday.
Ever - like the last ten years. Because we live in a really expensive area and our crappy place takes up 70% of our income.

Dozer Sun 31-Jul-16 17:17:59

Encouraging people to give up 10% of income is a form of control IMO.

ayeokthen Sun 31-Jul-16 17:20:12

It's a very private thing, how much you give. Whether it's a small fortune or a small amount, this parable always makes me remember what is important.

littlejeopardy Sun 31-Jul-16 17:24:43

We give 10% of our income to the church in our household as we believe that is a good rule of thumb.

But more importantly the Bible says that people should decide in their own hearts what to give and then give it cheerfully. So whatever amount you give, you need to be happy to give it. Don't give more if you are going to resent it.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 31-Jul-16 17:25:23

It's not 'control' as no one is forced. It's just between you and what you believe. It's an internal struggle - nothing is determined.

Dozer Sun 31-Jul-16 17:25:29

So people should give more than they can afford? To an institution that's really wealthy?

Dozer Sun 31-Jul-16 17:26:49

Coercion doesn't necessarily involve force, it's psychological. To imply that one is being more pious in religious terms by paying a higher proportion of income to the institution is clearly a form of control.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 31-Jul-16 17:27:28

It's not an institution on a local level. And you're not just giving to the 'church' - the 'church' is everything, all charity giving.

If you have a wealthy community then people are encouraged to give to the food banks/ local homeless charities instead - and sometimes the church does that too on behalf of its congregation

LaurieFairyCake Sun 31-Jul-16 17:28:01

It's not implied people are more 'pious' if they give.

WordGetsAround Sun 31-Jul-16 17:31:02

We give about 8% by monthly DD - that means we give every month without fail but also have some wriggle room to give to one off things / charity events etc. It also helps us think that our giving isn't entirely covered by our DD and we must seek to live generously too.

Dozer Sun 31-Jul-16 17:34:59

OK so it's encouraged to give financially, and in other ways, to any charity of your choosing?

That bible reading clearly implies that the women in poverty was more pious that the wealthy donors.

LaurieFairyCake Sun 31-Jul-16 17:36:39

Yes, because she gave by faith

Unlike me, who's resentful hmm

She gave with a full heart. That's the message.

BackforGood Sun 31-Jul-16 17:37:22

It will depend on your income / expenditure, but what helped me when my dc were young, was to think what I was quite happy for them to spend to go elsewhere - cubs, swimming, football, etc. Generally, most things they went to (at the time) were £2 - £3.50 per session. I then thought, that if there's 4 of us going, that I ought to pay at least the same for all the Church gave to us / did for us - so settled on around £11 or £12 per week.
Of course, things have gone up, but it just seemed a good way to get a baseline / starting point when we didn't have much money when the dc were little.
Would that give you a starting point ?
We've have the discussion about '10%' in various places, and I think people feel differently about if it (in 2016) means before tax / after tax / after paying 'essentials' (indeed, what are 'essentials'?), but it's worth looking at those figures and seeing how far from it the vast majority of Christians are with their giving. Again, another starting point to look at.

BackforGood Sun 31-Jul-16 17:37:53

Oh, and of course if you Gift Aid, that helps a LOT smile

ayeokthen Sun 31-Jul-16 17:38:33

Dozer, the full story is that the wealthy made a big show of donating large amounts which didn't matter to them, yet the elderly widow was ashamed because she didn't have much to give. The point is that it doesn't matter how much you give, it's the thought behind it that is important.

littlejeopardy Sun 31-Jul-16 17:39:05

Dozer I am not seeing anyone saying give more than you can afford.

Plus, not all churches are huge institutions. My local church is independent. Its funds come from its congregation, are spent by ministry leaders who are 99% unpaid volunteers. And the spend and accounts are fully disclosed to the church twice a year.

Dozer Sun 31-Jul-16 17:40:58

The bible story implies people should give more than they can afford. OP and her family haven't had a family holiday for years.

Iamthegreatest1 Sun 31-Jul-16 17:43:29

A lot people seem to assume as soon as you mention 'church' you're either talking about the Catholic Church of C of E. There are plenty other independent churches you know.

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