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has anyone ever fallen back IN to believing? (Christian belief, that is)

(11 Posts)
DowntonIsMyHome Tue 19-Apr-16 01:08:54

and if so, how do you walk back in to the church you left 12 years ago?! (there aren't any other local ones I'd want to go to; mostly one-man-bands and dangerous at that, whereas my old church has accountability and proper structure "at the top" so to speak)

Fink Tue 19-Apr-16 20:22:24

I suppose it depends under what circumstances you left, reationship with any members of the congregation in the meantime, size of congregation etc.

If it were me, depending on circumstances, I'd either:
a) creep in, join in without drawing any attention to myself, and if anyone said anything give a non-commital response until I felt settled back in
b) make an appointment to talk with the vicar/priest/leader and ask for their help reintegrating.

If you know this is the church for you then don't let anyine's attitude put you off. It happens all the time in our church that people come back after long absences, but it's a large, mobile, congregation so not very noticeable. I might occasionally say, 'I haven't seen you around for a while, how have you been?' but that's about it.

eastwest Tue 19-Apr-16 20:25:32

I'm not a believer, but surely they would be simply delighted to see you? Lost sheep and all that?

DowntonIsMyHome Tue 19-Apr-16 22:48:23

thanks both - lost sheep should be welcome, you're right, but there's never a guarantee!

Fink, it's a huge church (over 800 members, in total), so congregations from one week to the next are pretty mixed. The senior leadership team are the same as when I left, but a lot has changed since.

I only left because I didn't feel supported during divorce from violent ex... nothing in particular happened, just a feeling of being left to my own devices.

part of me wonders if they'll even remember who I am! maybe I'm over-thinking?!

springydaffs Tue 19-Apr-16 23:06:10

I went off for a very long time (not went off as in pwew though) following my divorce. Not because no-one supported me - they didn't - but because I thought fuck you God where were you sort of thing. I had married Mr Christian Pillar of the Community Abuser - it wasn't pretty.

tbh I really couldn't care less what anybody thinks, it's between you and (gorgeous) God. Just tip up again and if anyone has a problem with that it's, well, their problem. I don't honestly think you have to give an account of your absence.

DowntonIsMyHome Tue 19-Apr-16 23:42:17

thanks springy smile

you're right - it is their problem. I just need to be brave...

Fink Wed 20-Apr-16 03:12:28

In that case, never underestimate just how much people are wrapped up in their own problems and concerns. I doubt they'll even notice you were gone/are back. If you want to talk to someone in leadership about how you felt unsupported when in need, go for it. But if you would prefer to come back without a fuss, I doubt anyone else would say anything.

FelicityR313 Wed 20-Apr-16 03:14:44

When you say 800 in total, is that in your local area? Or in the whole world?

FelicityR313 Wed 20-Apr-16 03:18:57

Ok. I'm going to make assumptions here:

It's a Christian church, but neither Church of England nor Catholic?
You live next to most of the congregation/members? (In England?)

Question 1:
Why do you want to go back?
Question 2:
Why to this church in particular?
Question 3:
Does your church teach about love and forgiveness? Are women equal? Is divorce ok? Will you be scorned? Will you be accepted back? What does this church/religion offer you?

springydaffs Thu 21-Apr-16 19:37:04

4. What size pants do you wear
5. When did you have your last period

FelicityR313 Thu 21-Apr-16 23:17:07

They were questions for the OP to ask herself springdaffs.

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