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Civil Marriage, Divorce, and Adultery.

(15 Posts)
GoldenWondering Sun 17-Apr-16 10:52:28

I had a civil marriage in a register office, so my marriage was never valid in the eyes of God, therefore I am an adultress, says my church.

I am now divorced, but I can never be in another relationship because I was married before, says my church. How can they be saying I was married before when they are saying I was never married?

I had sex before marriage so I was an adultress anyway but they have never actually asked me about that.

I have not had sex with anybody since my marriage broke down.

This is not CofE and marriage is not a sacrament in my church. I don't want to say what church it is, so I probably won't get an answer. Divorced people do attend my church, and some of them have even been re-married in the church, so I don't know why I am being singled out. Is it because of the civil marriage?

I don't know anything about theology or doctrine, or religion in general. Can someone explain this to me terms I can understand please?

FellOutOfBedTwice Sun 17-Apr-16 10:57:31

This sounds like some of the bollocks I've heard come out of my aunts Jehovah's Witness congregation. I don't have any insight into the theology op but I wouldn't stay in a church that said that.

GoldenWondering Sun 17-Apr-16 11:00:30

I've tried to leave.

I know of someone who got booted out of the JWs for fornication because she had sex before marriage and she's had no problem leaving. none of htem are allowed to have anything to do with her or they will get booted out too.

pearlylum Sun 17-Apr-16 15:50:33

Don't expect moral guidance from a church.

I am a happy fornicator and adultress according to the church, despite having a loving monogamous relationship for 22 years and a stable happy family.

I don't give a shit what a church thinks of me.

MuttonCadet Sun 17-Apr-16 16:23:13

They can't stop you leaving, the fact that you think they can sounds a little like brainwashing.

You were posting on the "running away from your life" thread before, can you access any RL help?

GoldenWondering Sun 01-May-16 10:01:02

Singled out again today. I don't know what they want me to do. I can't turn back time, so what is the point in going on about it all the time?

Lovelydiscusfish Sun 01-May-16 21:33:44

Is this the right church for you, OP?
Lots of churches would not mind in the least about your situation, wouldn't think it was any of their business, tbh.
What draws you to your church, above others?
Do hope you are ok!

LadyCassandra Sun 01-May-16 21:38:27

Please find another church. Church is for worship and guidance and bible teaching, not judgement and singling out. Jesus taught on the forgiveness of sins, so why they are going by past issues I don't know.
Do you need help to leave?

GoldenWondering Sun 01-May-16 21:47:56

I don't have the option of finding another church that is going to welcome me with open arms, and I don't want to go to any church.

I do want to understand the logic of what they are saying.

Lovelydiscusfish Sun 01-May-16 22:23:28

There is no logic to it, in my honest opinion. Nor do they (your church), from what you've said, appear to attempt to pursue the values inherent in the New Testament.

Why can't you leave the church? Can anyone help?

123lekl Mon 02-May-16 10:58:27

There are many churches which WOULD welcome you with open arms and it sounds like you'll find it hard to understand what they are saying as it seems inconsistent with their other practices.
I'm a different denomination but I have studied christian doctrine and theology to a post graduate level I'd want to tell you that I am dubious about what you're being told. Many churches will marry people who have been divorced and a civil marriage isn't a reason to single you out. Churches should be preaching love, grace and reconciliation and it's sad to hear you sounding ostracised and confused.
I've no advice or answers but I'd maybe speak to a locks Christian or church leader from outside your church for clarity, support and perspective x

123lekl Mon 02-May-16 10:59:01


specialsubject Tue 03-May-16 13:12:51

don't expect logic, this is primitive intolerance. You will never change their minds because their minds are totally closed. You have been branded in their minds and they will make it up as they go along to continue branding you as a word I am not going to type.

go elsewhere. They hate you. They aren't worth any more of your time.

there are plenty of religions that will welcome you.

GoldenWondering Tue 03-May-16 13:30:31

They already call me the word, if it is the same one I am thinking of.

I already go to the more tolerant of the two churches available.

specialsubject Sat 07-May-16 09:13:03

Religion - love, tolerance, understanding, goodwill to all men and women.

Not seeing it with your lot. Shun them and go elsewhere.

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